When I read the Bible I am struck over and over again by the stories of people who were called by God to suffer.

Think about it…

From Cover to Cover there are countless stories of God’s people suffering and then God using those times in ways they could never imagine. There is even a whole section of Hebrews that is devoted to those who were called to suffer and lived by faith. Their stories serve as a reminder to us that while we are here on earth, we will be called to suffer. The greatest example of all is of course Jesus, who suffered so much that he sweat drops of blood before anyone had ever laid a hand on Him. If you’ve ever wondered if God can use suffering for His glory and for the redemption of mankind, you need look no further than example of suffering in Jesus Christ.

Over the past few years we have all been through a lot. We’ve lost loved ones, we’ve lost battles with evil, we’ve seen a groaning earth rumble and shake cities to the ground and we’ve probably all experienced some difficult financial times as well. For while, when I was in the heat of battle, I became very blind to the suffering of others. I was so consumed and wrapped up in what was going on with me, that I forgot about my fellow man. Yes, the firestorm and trials were very real and the pain was legitimate, but I turned a blind eye to those enduring unspeakable pain and suffering… God did not intend for us to suffer that way.

Over the next few weeks I’m going to be contacting some of you and sharing some things that God has put on my heart. God has burdened me with a message that has changed my life. It’s the message of what the Gospel looks like when those of us who have been called to follow Christ are called to suffer. I’m also going to be contacting some of you and asking you to share your story about times when the Lord has called you to suffer. Some of you have been through some very difficult trials in your life and when I look at your life now, I can see how the Lord has shaped you a molded you because of that call to suffer.

If the Lord wills, the end result will be a resource, or set of resources, that will offer an alternative to our current view of what it means to suffer for the Lord. For now this project is entitled “The Call Of Suffering. The goal of these resources is to reshape and renew our minds when it comes to the topic of suffering in the life of a true follower of Christ. The reason for these resources is that during our times of suffering, it can be hard to understand our relationship with God. We fail to realize that a call to follow Christ, is a call of suffering in Christ. Today, most followers of Christ view suffering as unwanted, undeserved and unfair. However a careful and diligent study of God’s Word produces the constant theme of God calling His followers and even His only Son to suffer. In these resources, we’ll take a look at various instances in the Bible where God has called His people to suffer. We’ll also hear from and explore some present day examples of followers that God has called to suffer. Finally, we will fix our gaze on Jesus, who was called to suffer for the glory of His Father.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.” Hebrews 12:1-3 (ESV)

Over the next few weeks I look forward to meetings and phone conversations with you as we learn about The Call Of Suffering.

If you’ve been following my blog or my Twitter account over the past few years then from time to time I’ve made a mention or two about a firestorm or firestorms that I had been dealing with for quite some time. In fact, it began in late October of 2007 when a major conflict occurred between me and someone else that attended the church I called home for over 16 years. This conflict between us dragged in countless innocent people and as a result the Elders got involved early in the process. Unfortunately, some bad decisions were made early on that led to catastrophic and life changing consequences in my life. Instead of the situation being handled Biblicaly, a false accusation was made and legal action was taken against me.

While I was dealing with this situation my Mom’s cancer had returned and at the height and most severe intensity of the firestorm, she went home to be with Jesus. Loosing my Mom caused me to give up the legal fight and compromise my integrity in the situation. I began questioning and doubting everything in my life: my calling, my faith and even the value of my life. I had no interest in personal repentance or reconciling with those that had hurt me, instead I was content to say terrible things about them and overlook any responsibility I had for the situation arising in the first place. But the Lord had placed some amazing followers of Christ in my life that were not going to stand by and watch me destroy my life and walk away from the Lord and from my faith. They gently rebuked me and brought me to the point that I began looking for a new church and a way to be restored to the Lord.

Having visited Cornerstone in Simi Valley several times while I was at TMC, I knew that it was a theologically solid church that placed a high value on knowing and doing what the Word of God commanded. When I had explained the situation to one of the Elders there, I expressed fear about whether or not Cornerstone would accept me due to what my former church thought about me, what the accuser said about me and especially the outcome of the legal case. He shared that what Cornerstone cared about was who I was in Christ and what the Lord thought of me. He recommended a Elder-Qualified guy at Cornerstone Disciple me and walk along side me through the process of grieving for my Mom and transitioning from my former church to Cornerstone.

As this guy walked with me, I began to realize that if I wanted to follow Christ that I had to take some radical steps toward reconciliation and peace with those that I had hurt and those that had hurt me. Around this time I began attending the Community Group he was leading and was welcomed with open arms and open hearts. I had the opportunity, after a few months of attending in near silence, to share with the group the grief that I was experiencing over loosing my Mom and the response was amazing. I once again had people in my life that called me to see how I was doing, that prayed for me when the Lord prompted them and shared their own experiences in order to preach the Gospel to me. They loved me where I was at, but loved me enough not to leave me there.

The results were immediate and drastic: I began to feel the Lord stripping away the grief and anger and replacing it with a heart of peace and a desire for reconciliation. About 6 months ago I approached the Elders at my former church and shared with them that I wanted to go a new direction with them and wanted to seek full and complete reconciliation with those that I had hurt and those that had hurt me. Their response was one that was supportive and joyful that the Gospel was healing me and showing me that the Love of Christ was rich and free and full of power to reconcile. I began meeting relentlessly and humbly with those on the sidelines that I had wronged during the process. Again, I was welcomed with open arms and open hearts and experienced the forgiveness of Christ, as well as the forgiveness of my fellow brother’s and sisters. I now had allies and fellow believers that were there to support me as I continued the process of seeking out those whom I had hurt, including the person that was involved in the original conflict. Over the past 4 months I have been a part of some amazing meetings where the Lord was working before and after the meetings for His glory to shine through. They have been difficult and they have been filled with all kinds of emotions, but the Lord has been gracious in allowing those meeting to be productive and to glorify Him. So much so that two weeks ago He has also allowed for the truth to finally come out and prove once and for all that the accusation was indeed false.

And so after 852 days… IT IS FINISHED!!!!

On Monday night I received word that my letter to be removed from membership at my old church had been accepted. Although they consider it to be “under discipline” I am confident that I did everything I could to make things right with those I offended where possible and with those that offended me where possible. The Lord has ended this Firestorm and I am grateful that I can now close this painful chapter in my life, that my family and friends can do the same and and that they can attend my former church without a cloud hanging over their heads. My Family and Friends family stood by me unwaveringly during my darkest hours… The Lord was certainly glorified in their example of faith. I also look forward to how the Lord will lead me to be involved at my new church home, Cornerstone. The Elders there have been amazing and without their willingness to stand up for the Scriptures, for the Truth or to oversee my Spiritual Well-Being while I was on the brink, I wouldn’t be writing this to you all.

On a lighter note, some time ago one of the Elders at my former church gave me a bottle of sparkling cider on my Birthday. He is a God-fearing man and a devoted follower of Christ. I plan on opening that bottle sometime soon with my family and celebrating the Lord bringing us through all of this. We are weary, but we have not grown faint…

I’m also going to be reading Psalm 71 in a new light… You should too brothers and sisters…

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The Teaching Pastor at my church, Francis Chan, is partnering with Compassion International and several well-known Musical Artists to raise funds for Haiti at an event called “HELP HAITI LIVE“. “HELP HAITI LIVE” is a multi-city ticketed concert event taking place on February 27th, 2010 to benefit Compassion International’s Haiti disaster relief fund. The event will also be streamed live at HelpHaitiLive.com for those who cannot attend one of the concerts in person. 100% of on-line donations through HelpHaitiLive.com will go to Compassion International’s Haiti disaster relief fund. 100% of net proceeds from ticket sales will go to Compassion International’s Haiti disaster relief fund.

The event here in LA is taking place at 7:30PM at the Wiltern on February 27th, 2010. I am super excited to not only go to this event but to be a part of it. I hope that if you’re in the LA area you’ll get your tickets ASAP and be a part of something pretty freakin awesome! If you can’t make it, please consider making a donation to either Children’s Hunger Fund or Compassion International. Even though Haiti is no longer the lead story on the news, that doesn’t change the fact that widespread suffering is still taking place in the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. If I had my choice, I’d be on a plane to Haiti doing whatever I could to help these people and to encourage and support missionaries that have been engaged in the front lines of ministry there for many years. But it looks like the next best thing for me to do is promote the heck out of this event!

I’d love for you to download these clips and make them available to people that are currently fighting cancer as well as cancer survivors and to families that have lost loved ones. I hope that my Mom’s story will inspire us not because of her strength, but from the strength she found in her Savior Jesus Christ.

1. My cage was rattled over the Conan verse Leno Late Night Wars. I love Conan and always have. Ever since I watched Johnny Carson as a kid I always wondered what it would be like to one-day work on a show like that. I love comedy and I when I found out Conan was going to host The Tonight Show I was excited and gave myself something to work for. To one day write or be a part of the Tonight Show was not a far fetched dream but something I could actually see myself doing. Needless to say it was tough to see Conan be abused by NBC brass but it was inspirational to watch how he went out… by having a lot fun on Television.
2. Since mid-October there has been a hole in my ceiling that resulted from a leaking roof. The roof was eventually fixed however after repeated contact with our management company the ceiling was ignored until early last week when the torrential rains finally proved to be to much for the flimsy patches to hold and the ceiling caved in and damaged irreplaceable pictures. I ended up getting into several shouting matches with people that could care less that water had caused damage to my property due to their negligence. To add insult to injury we were served with an eviction notice because we refused to pay the rent until they decided to do something about the poor maintenance.
3. In addition to the poor maintenance form management Southern California Edison has seen fit to turn our power off three different times over the past 2 weeks. They claim each time it’s for maintenance but then today the power went off with no notice and it wasn’t until after we called that we discovered that there was scheduled maintenance but that the problem was the maintenance caused “severe damage to critical systems which have led to an extended outage.” The power has been out since 9AM this morning and won’t be back on until approximately 6AM tomorrow. Right now I’m hiding out at a Starbucks trying to see if I can get stuff done for the move this weekend.
4. Moving is a pain in the a$$. Packing and going through and getting rid of crap that you’ve had for over 25 years can be both liberating and excruciating. There is freedom that comes from divesting yourself of the things that encumber you, but stuff is funny. We think we need it, but we really don’t. And the truth is the more stuff you have the more problems that stuff brings you. At the same time, the memories that are brought back by a third grade project, or a Christmas card from a particularly tough year can be comforting and encouraging. Then of course moving involves location, location, location. Not to mention cost, cost, cost.
5. Some major changes and events have been transpiring at my former church that directly relate to the ongoing reconciliation process. Needless to say, some key players are abandoning ship and it’s put me in a position where I’m left wondering how far to pursue reconciliation with them. At what point should I abandon the idea that there will be a happy ending to this?

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So there you have it… my complaints and hassles this week. But in reality they pale in comparison to the suffering and misery of the people in Haiti. No food, no water, no electricity, no order, no help, no hope. People’s dead loved ones are piled in the street, violence has been slowly creeping in and churches there have been decimated by structural damage, whole congregations dying and spiritual turmoil due to unimaginable trials. Yet I’m ticked off over and entertainment show, a small pathetic hole in my ceiling, temporary lack of electricity, clinging to stuff that I don’t need and problems with a couple of people who have no control over my spiritual well being.

Pretty selfish and stupid. Sure I texted “Haiti” to 90999, I gave to my church and I donated at Starbucks. But oh how comfortable that was. To sit thousands of miles away from the horror of what is taking place there and to send money to a country that is in ruin. It’s the equivalent of putting a band-aid on a severed limb, I’ve done no good. And yet I am SO ungrateful for the amazing gifts and blessings that I have here and for what? Just a little comfort… I am disgusted.

P.S. To leave comments click on the Title at the top of this post.

One of the gals that is part of my New Church Family is close friends with an amazing lady named Peggy Sturgis. She in the end stages of Ovarian Cancer, has a wonderful husband an 4 amazing children. Of course this really hits close to home for me and I have been praying for her and her family as often as possible.

I know what her family is going through and I know what they have ahead of them. None of it will be easy and none of it will make sense at the time. Right now Peggy is fighting the good fight and is having weekly gatherings at her home in order to worship with her friends and loved ones for as long as she’s able. I know she’s not wasting her life or the opportunity that God has given her to glorify Him until her last breath.

Please be praying for her and her family and if you want, you can visit her website and leave a message of encouragement for her: http://peggysturgis.com

If the Lord allows, I’m hoping to meet her and her family sometime soon and share my Mom’s story with them.

I don’t have any fancy well-thought-out arguments. I don’t have pages of demographics statistics dating all the way back to the 1950’s. I don’t have a personal relationship with either person involved in this dispute. I simply have my opinions and I am about to share them willingly with anyone who’s willing to read this.

Here we go…

I use to watch The Tonight Show when Johnny Carson was at the helm. I actually use to stay up late sometimes with my parents and watch part of the show with them. There was always a neverending flow of dazzling young talent and sketches that would leave me and my family in tears from the laughter. In fact I still imitate and mock Carnac The Magnificent every once in a while when I’m opening an envelope.

Then along came this guy named Jay Leno… and he was different. He never pulled off the stunts or skits that Johnny could and his sense of humor was not something that appealed to me. Every once in a while I’d tune in because a particular guest was on but I was never a regular viewer.

As I got older and discovered the magic of staying up late I sometimes would catch a glimpse of this crazy red-headed guy running amuck on a poorly lit stage. It was my friend Kenny that finally solidified things for me by recommending that I spend some time getting to know Conan and the show. From the first full episode I was hooked. He had the same zany, crazy sense of humor as Carson and was willing to do the physical comedy to bring solid entertainment to the masses.

When I heard that Jay Leno would be leaving The Tonight Show and that Conan would be taking over I was thrilled! Now I didn’t have to stay up so late to catch Conan… he’d be on right after our nightly dose of gloom and doom from NBC4 News. I actually got to watch the first show of The Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien on Hulu minutes after it was posted and needless to say I was blown away by the amazing high-tech, art-deco set that they had put together for the new era of The Tonight Show. Since he’s taken over the show I have only missed a few episodes but I have loved and enjoyed the energy and humor he brought back to the show.

At the same time, a good friend of mine had been working on a very successful TV show that was on NBC called “Life.” As a result of Jay Leno’s decision not to go off Television but instead to take over prime time, my friend lost one of the best TV jobs that he had ever had. This did not endear me to Jay Leno at all. In a time when the economy wasn’t that great, Jay Leno’s ego and desire to build some sort of lasting legacy (he can’t be doing this for the money) put people out of work and forever changed the landscape of Primetime TV. Of course we now know that this was a huge failure for NBC and that all the money they were trying to save was lost 2-3 times over because of their decision to let an ego maniac run their TV lineup. The final nail in Leno’s coffin is the fact that instead of bowing out gracefully from TV and calling it a day, he’s trying to get his old slot back and in the process is doing the very thing he promised he didn’t want to do. He promised that he didn’t want to have another “Letterman Like” incident where the obvious incumbent was shoved aside and was then lost to a competing network that would go on to kick NBC’s butt. And he also stated openly that if his Primetime venture didn’t work out that he would walk away from it and forget it.

At least that’s how I saw it…

But then it struck me that who’s really to blame is NBC… They agreed to put Primetime shows out of work, they agreed to the experiment to begin with and from what I understand they are the dominating force behind keeping Leno at NBC. Their problem is they don’t want Jay to go to a competing network and kick their butts like they know he would.

So there you have it….

Me personally, I like Conan and I think he should be the one to stay at 11:30. I think Jay needs to abandoned his failed experiment and if he wants to go to another network, fine. And I think that NBC sucks… good thing I haven’t sent any resumes there…

On of the most interesting chapters I’ve ever read in the Pentateuch is Exodus Chapter 1. Exodus 1 is very much a transition chapter leading from the resolution of Joseph’s story up to the beginning of Moses’ story. Along the way a new Pharaoh comes along that forgets about how Joesph, a Hebrew, saved his ancestors from the famine. Out of greed and, dare I say, God’s permission, this new Pharaoh enslaves the Hebrews and hatches a plan to control their population. A plan that puts the Hebrew Midwives into a crisis.

“Then the king of Egypt said to the Hebrew midwives, one of whom was named Shiphrah and the other Puah, ‘When you serve as midwife to the Hebrew women and see them on the birthstool, if it is a son, you shall kill him, but if it is a daughter, she shall live.’” Exodus 1:15-16 ESV

A death sentence for all male Hebrew children and the Midwives are commanded to be the executioners of their own people. Imagine for a moment if you had to carry out these orders? Shiphrah and Puah are cornered by evil and it seems as if there is no way out. How much fear would that instill into you?

“But the midwives feared God and did not do as the king of Egypt commanded them, but let the male children live” Exodus 1:17 ESV

I LOVE that verse! Shiphrah and Puah have fear all right… it’s the fear of the Lord. They may have feared a madman mass murderer, they may have feared certain death but they’re fear of the Lord was far greater than anything that a puny human was going to throw at them. They chose life for others at risk of their own life. But that’s not the end of the story…

“So the king of Egypt called the midwives and said to them, ‘Why have you done this, and let the male children live?’ The midwives said to Pharaoh, ‘Because the Hebrew women are not like the Egyptian women, for they are vigorous and give birth before the midwife comes to them.’” Exodus 1:18-19 ESV

What the what!?

Did they just lie to trick the Pharaoh? I thought they feared the Lord? Even thought the Ten Commandments haven’t been written yet lying was certainly not something that God blessed was it? Jacob was a trickster and look at all the trouble it caused him (cf: Genesis 25-36)! Was God pleased with what they had told the Pharaoh?

“So God dealt well with the midwives. And the people multiplied and grew very strong. And because the midwives feared God, he gave them families.” Exodus 1:20-21 ESV

So let’s get this straight… The Pharaoh orders the Midwives to kill all the male Hebrew children as they are born, but because they fear the Lord they don’t do what the Pharaoh tells them to do. Then, when they are held accountable, they aren’t truthful and the Lord blesses them for it.

But I think we need to dig a little deeper…

The key here (as it is so many places in scripture, especially in the Old Testament) is to remember how powerful God is. If He created the universe could He not speed up the birthing process? The Pharaoh’s words indicated that they would “see them on the birthstool.” If the Hebrew woman’s labor is sped up by the Lord and they are off the birth stool and the baby is not in plain sight, haven’t the Midwives done what the Pharaoh has asked? It seems to me that they weren’t necessarily lying to the Pharaoh, the Lord just made it impossible to do the evil the Pharaoh wanted them to do. The Lord Delivered them from evil… Obviously that is a HUGE theme in Exodus, but it’s also a HUGE theme in all of scripture.

A second thing to consider is the consequences of their actions:

“And because the midwives feared God, he gave them families.” Exodus 1:21 ESV

It was their fear of God that yielded the blessing of a family. But it wasn’t just a blessing, it was a second deliverence… They were delivered from being a midwives because they became pregnant themselves and could not serve as midvies anymore. Again, the Lord Delivered them from evil… The Lord provided them an escape from doing what was wrong.

“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV

Now let’s be careful and not misinterpret that verse. Temptation to do evil will come… it is a certainty… but when temptation comes God will provide THE way of escape… It’s to fear Him more than you fear yourself or others. When you are in the midst of a trial it is easy to be tempted to give up on the Lord’s way for a way that seems easier. When you’re at work and the dirty jokes start flying it’s easy to join in. When the latest celeb news and gossip pales in comparison to the gossip your are hearing about someone else it’s easy to keep listening. Maybe it’s fear of rejection, fear of being alone, maybe it’s fear of obscurity or just plain fear of others… whatever that fear is, it should never outweigh the fear, love and trust that you have in the Lord, who WILL deliver you from evil.

So the next time you’re having your own Midwife Crisis, (not if but when) and you are staring evil in the face… do not fear anything but the Lord.

P.S. To leave comments click on the Title at the top of this post.

Many years ago in a co-ed Bible study my fellow Christ-followers and I were reading through a particularly wretched “Christian Dating” book of some sort. One of the phrases that really caught on and was used quite often in the book was “Learn to be content in your season of Singleness.” The idea was that while you were single you shouldn’t be worrying about dating or finding the perfect spouse, but instead you should be working on yourself and try to be come the “best husband/wife that you can while you’re on your own.” The end result was suppose to be that when the opposite sex looked at you they would be attracted to your value as a person rather then just your good looks, clothes, money or other “outward appearances that so often deceive our lustful eyes.” This however is not a reality…

The reality is most Christ-followers who are single are praying that God would being them the perfect person that was meant for them. They use phrases like “God wants me to be happy right? So He’ll bring me great husband/wife that is really cute because that’s what I like.” Or my dating freinds who are with someone and have encountered some part of that persons personality that “just doesn’t mesh.” They use phrases like “God wants us to be one flesh someday right? So if the person I’m dating now is right for me we wouldn’t be fighting would we?”

Seriously?

God is not some cosmic pimp in the sky that is obligated to hook you up with guy/gal of your dreams jsut because you wear a purity ring and have made some promise or covenant with Him. “Lord, if you bring me the cutest guy I promise I won’t have sex with him before we get married. If You do then I will be the perfect housewife forever if you do.” Or “Lord, if you bring me the hottest chick at my church I promise I’ll do my best to keep my hands off her and myself before we’re married. If You do then I’ll be a missionary forever if you do.” Don’t pray to God as if He’s just suppose to go through His Saved-a-dex and pick out the most sanctified, beautified and rich person in the world for you to marry.

The truth is you should count your blessings if the Lord chooses to allow someone half as jacked up as you for your spouse. Getting married doesn’t mean you’ve arrived at the perfect relationship… It means you’ve just begun. You’re going to spend a lifetime together figuring out how to honor each other, talk to each other and love each other in a way that best glorifies the Lord. So what if things are a little rough in the dating relationship? Don’t drop that person over one stupid fight about something insignificant like Coke verses Pepsi, Verizon verses AT&T or Mac verses PC (although that last one is particularly hard for me). If there is a serious sin committed by that other person against you then maybe it’s time to re-evaluate but do your best to work things out before you just call it quits. It’ll be a good indication of how you’ll respond when you’re married and have no business looking for an escape route.

My final thought is this, whatever situation you’re in, don’t waste that time longing for the next stage. If you’re single, don’t spend all your time whining and crying to God about your singleness and presenting your demands to Him for a date. Instead spend that time serving the Lord in ways you never can when you’re dating. If you’re dating someone, don’t get all hot and bothered just because you’re not married. It’s perfectly okay to spend free time by yourself even though you’re dating someone. Use that time to practice the art of leading yourself by continually seeking the Lord in precious one-on-one time with Him.

And to those of you saying, “Hey are there verses for that?” I say of course:

“32I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 7:32-35

Undivided devotion to the Lord… that’s a tough prospect when you’re not only seeing to your own spiritual needs, but to the spiritual needs of someone else as well.

P.S. To those of you who think you may have the “gift” of singleness. If the Lord has called you to be single you’re entire life you have no excuse for not changing the world in amazing ways. You will have financial, geographical and physical freedom beyond belief. God will have entrusted you with an entire life that should yield undivided devotion to Him. If you can’t live up to that, maybe you should reconsider that calling.

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted a personal update but life has been busy and unpredictable. Hard to tell you all what’s going on when I don’t know what’s going on . You’ll also see that I did a little redesign on the look of the site. Everything is still here but I’m going to be expanding and adding stuff this year and I wanted to make some room. I liked the old theme cause it had 3 Columns but I’m also a big fan on cutting down on information overload so this new theme should work just fine.

Since I tend to be able to think better when I make lists here are few things I’d like to share with y’all:

1. I Will Be Moving At The Beginning Of February – For the past 12 months I have had the privilege of living in the Santa Clarita Valley. It’s had it’s ups and downs but it has been a great opportunity for me to be on my own and learn some important life lessons. I’ve had some great roommates and some great visitors but unfortunately our lease is up at the end of January and the rent is definitely going to be out of our price range. At this point neither of us know where we’re going to end up but suffice it to say we won’t end up on the street. There is a good possibility that I may end up back in my home town but my desire is to find a place in Burbank close to my church family.
2. I’m Finally Beginning To Settle On A Career Path - While the details are still blurry the broad strokes is that I’d like to end up in the world of Production or Post-Production. I know those don’t necessarily go hand in hand but at least it’s been narrowed down. Last year I had the privilege of helping out on some amazing short films and couple of Reality TV Shows. I’ve also had the privilege of editing some great projects last year as well and had an amazing time doing both. Despite the fact that the path I thought I was on 3 years ago has radically changed, being a part of the entertainment industry has always been a part of my path. The Lord has dropped so many opportunities in my lap but unfortunately I took them for granted. 2009 was a tough year stability wise with jobs and income being the biggest issues I wrestled with (compare that to 2008 when I lost everything in my life that meant something to me and it doesn’t seem that bad). I hope that this year the side projects and opportunities will be plentiful and will build a strong body of work to have as a resume for good jobs in the future. But I also know that with the way things are in the economy I’m going to have to work harder then I ever have to find the good ones.
3. God Has Slowly And Faithfully Been Healing Me - 2008 was the worst year of my life. I lost my Mom, my church family, my liberty and hope for a future. Trust me, that is no exaggeration. Sometime in the next 6 months all the details of what transpired in 2008 will come out, but for now please know that I see now that God was in control of it all. As a result, I spent most of 2009 coming to grips with my life being turned upside down and trying to cope with hurt, depression and pain that the Lord allowed. So many of you walked with me and my family through those trials and were faithful and point me to the Lord not matter what the circumstance. I apologize if I didn’t seem receptive, but just know that the Lord spoke through you no matter what my initial response to you might have been. For those of you who are strangers I hope that sharing my story will be an encouragement to you when (NOT IF) you walk through trials in your own life. The Lord allowed some unimaginable things, but He also allowed them for unimaginable reasons that are still being revealed to me daily. When I think back to where I was a year ago I marvel and the Lord’s goodness, faithfulness and trustworthiness, which was a key concept for me last year. I’ve had to learn some hard lessons the hard way, but the Lord has been there every step of the way.
4. God Has Given Me An Incredible New Church Family - When I began looking for a new church a little over a year ago I never thought that I’d find the love and support that I have found in Cornerstone Burbank. When I first started attending there I was a bump on the wall. I came, I didn’t talk, I left and had no meaningful relationships with anyone. At first it was very hard to get over the hurts that I experienced at my previous church, but slowly I saw that God was working in and through the folks in Burbank and I began to see first hand that those folks were the real deal. They submitted to Jesus. served others and loved them both. Through an amazing set of circumstances I was prompted by the Holy Spirit to be vulnerable and share with group about all the doubts and pain I had been experiencing since my Mom had passed away. The group overwhelmed me with love, prayer and sweet fellowship based on our common love for Jesus. It was something that had been missing from my life for over a year and the Lord has used to strengthen and encourage my heart. Since that night I have a church family that trusts me and that I trust as well. This year I hope that the Lord will continue to open up doors in the group where I can serve and be served, love and be loved.
5. God Has Been Drawing Me Closer To My Family - When my Mom passed away in June of 2008 I felt as if our family would never be whole again. That we would be forever scared and would never be a “family” again without her. Last October my Dad married an amazing woman named Cindy. In the months before and after the wedding my Sister and I have gotten to know her and I can honestly say that I consider her to be part of our family. She’s not a replacement for my Mom (as that is impossible) but she’s and addition to our family that has helped heal the wounds of loosing someone you love. She has experienced loss in her life and has been very sensitive and respectful of what my Sister and I have have been going through. She understands the ups and downs of grief which is a blessing from the Lord. This has also served to better my relationship with my Dad. We haven’t always seen eye-to-eye on everything (don’t get us started on politics!) but over the past year my Dad and I have been working though our issues in our hearts as well as our issues with each other. We are communicating better and most of all we enjoy spending time together. My Sister and I are also drawing closer together. We have a little joke between us that we’re always emotional opposites. When I’m having a hard time with something, she has peace about it. When my Sister is struggling to understand, I’m there to try and explain it to her. Considering the fact that these are major life issues we’ve been wrestling with I am so grateful that we can count on each other and that God has made us unique enough to support each other during the tough times. I can honestly say I look forward to our family get-togethers on the weekends and holidays.

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Finally, over the next few months I’d like to start posting again on a regular basis. The biggest reason that I have haven’t been sharing here has been the things on my heart and mind involve matters that are private and involve other people. The Lord has seen fit to begin to heal those situations and is opening the door for a miraculous and amazing story about just how awesome God is and how powerful the Gospel is. My hope and prayer is that the things I share here will be an encouragement and blessing to those that read it and that unlike some of my posts last year, they will be uplifting to others and glorify the Lord.

I just want to thank you again for all of your love and support and prayers for my Aunt and my Family as we’ve been battling through these tough days.

My Aunt’s condition continues to improve and is being called a miracle by the hospital staff. A week ago today she was having uncontrolled seizures and today she is talking and communicating with us and wants to come home. To us, she’s back to her old self minus the fact that she won’t be able to talk for some time due to the muscle mass loss. Her Numerologists are scratching their heads wondering how she has been able to bounce back so quickly and so completely compared to several other patients they have been treating for months. We point them to the Great Physician every chance we get. The Doctors and Nurses have seen us praying over her every chance we get and are astounded by the fact that hundreds of people are waiting for updates so that they can pray too.

As my Aunt continues to get better it is very apparent that some things need to drastically change with her home care in order for her to stay well and get on the Kidney Transplant list. My Grandmother has done her best for the past 50+ years caring for her children and she can no longer do that on her own. For being 71 she’s tough and motivated, but her body is weak and needs rest. As a family we are praying through some tough options and we desperately need wisdom and guidance to make the right decisions with the best outcome. We’d appreciate your prayers for this as well.

You can also pray for patience for my Aunt and well as us. My Aunt is still coming down off the heavy sedation she was on and is having mood swings as well as other psychological side-effects from being in a coma for 4 days. Some of these are as simple as memory loss other are as complicated as misinterpreting what she is told and being upset or frustrated because she doesn’t understand. Once we get past this de-tox period it should be a smoother transition but right now it’s a challenge to communicate clearly with my Aunt.

Again, thank you all for your prayers and I will do my best to keep you updated.

Thanks,
Cliff Ames Jr.

Thank you all so much for your love and support. Your prayers are being answered:

1. I had a VERY safe trip from LA to NV with no traffic problems and very few people on the road. The weather was also beautiful and a reminder of God’s control over everything.

2. As soon as I arrived I was able to hug and cry with my Grandmother who feels overwhelmed by everything that is going on. She has been misplacing keys, phones and other important things that are necessary for her being able to function and take care of my Aunt. I have now been able to step in and get things organized for her and already the results are obvious. We were able to go to church together on Sunday and then go to lunch and talk about how she’s doing. We came up with a game plan and things are going better now that she has the support that she needs.

3. The Lord has been so good to me over the past few days. My roommates and some good friends were able to pray over me right as I got the news that I needed to leave and when I texted and emailed folks I received over a dozen responses filled with Christ’s love and the Scripture. The theme that keeps coming up over and over again is peace and I have been overwhelmed by it. My Grandmother’s Pastor preached on it Sunday and it has been leaping out at me from the verses I have been reading. Philippians of course is where I land a lot but the Psalms and Proverbs also have been rocking my world.

4. Because my Aunt is more stable than she was before my sister can now wait until Wednesday to come out here and not have to worry about flying or driving at the last minute. She can take her time planning the trip and will be supported along the way.

5. Here is the latest on my Aunt’s condition: She is in a medically induced coma in order to break the cycle of seizures that she has been having. She has NOT had a stroke that we know of and the Doctors are confident that the seizures can be controlled with medication. Although they can’t find the exact cause of the seizures they are confident that the cause is not life threatening and her condition is stable enough now for them to begin treating the underlying symptoms. Once they determine that the seizure cycle has been broken they will begin bringing her our of the coma in order to wake her up and see if any brain damage has occurred. They are fairly certain that there will be some damage but they are just as certain that some of it can be reduced with time, treatment and therapy. While all this has been going on my Aunt has been sedated and resting comfortably with no incidents.

6. The Doctors and Nurses from this latest hospital stay have been competent and very helpful in explaining what is going on. They are supportive and have responded to our concerns in a timely manner and truly care about my Aunts condition and progress. Both of the Doctors we saw yesterday explained everything clearly and were VERY honest even about the negative side of things. It’s not just hard to ask those kinds of questions, it’s hard to answer them as well.

On Behalf Of My Family,
Cliff Ames Jr.

In about 30 minutes I am going to be leaving to drive to Las Vegas, Nevada to be with my Aunt and Grandmother. My Aunt has been have repeated strokes for the past 48 hours and is getting worse by the hour. My Grandmother is very discouraged as she is loosing her other child only a year and half after loosing my Mom. She also beginning to be weakened physically and needs someone to be there for her and be emotionally and physically strong for her. For now that person needs to be me and so I would covet your prayers for many things.

1. Pray for a safe trip
2. Pray that God would strengthen and encourage my Grandmother
3. Pray that God would strengthen and equip me for this time of suffering and trial
4. Pray for my Sister’s safe trip when she is able to go out there sometime in the next 24-36 hours
5. Pray that God would grant rest and peace to my Aunt
6. Pray that I will be patient with the Doctors that are treating her

I’ll do my best to keep you updated via this Blog or viat my Twitter account which updates in the last column to the right.

On Behalf Of My Family,
Cliff Ames Jr.

Click here to view the embedded video.

1. My Aunt Has Been In And Out Of The Hospital.

My Mom (left) My Aunt (right) and My Great Grandma (bottom) in September of 2007

Over the past few years my Aunt’s health has seriously deteriorated culminating in the fact that she has spent more time in the hospital or rehab then she has spent at home. This has been especially hard on my Grandma who has been her sole caretaker during this time. They are both worn out and fatigued from all of these various trials but fortunately they have an amazing church family that has been supporting them and being a great example of what it means “be” the church rather than just “attend” church. Right now she is back in the hospital for many reasons but the bottom line is, if she is not able to recover and loose some additional weight and finally get a kidney transplant then she will not be with us here on earth much longer. My Aunt loves the Lord and is trusting Him, as is my Grandma, but she has been through so much pain and suffering that it would be a huge blessing if she were to be able to get a transplant but at the same time it is hard to see her suffer.

2. I Took A Short Sabbatical From Life

For a two and a half week period I packed up my stuff, took time off from my job and spent lots of time with my family. During this time I had the opportunity to connect and reconnect with close friends and family and was able to spend some time also reconnecting with the Lord. The former led to the latter because the people in my life that know me the best have always point me to the Lord no matter what the circumstances. Shortly before I took this sabbatical I was feeling depressed and overwhelmed by everything that the Lord had allowed to happen over the past two years. Not to mention the current pressures I was facing on all fronts I knew that I needed time to figure out what my life needed to look like in order to survive. In the end, like Dorothy, I had the ability to “go home” the whole time, but I needed to make the expedition down the yellow brick road before I could fully appreciate what being home meant. In other words I realized that my walk with the Lord had been crappy for quite some time and needed some drastic improvement. My friends and family directed me along the way and the Lord reminded me of His grace and forgiveness. I spent time in front of many fire pits just as Peter did in John 21.

3. I Edited A TV Show

One of my good friends is a TV Producer with lots of experience in Reality Programming. For some time now I have been able to help out in one way or another with various projects that he has had going over the years. I’ve assisted editors on many of these projects but never had the opportunity to actually BE the editor. Finally a project came along and I jumped at the opportunity to actually BE the editor this time. It was a lot of work, a lot of hours and a lot of Coffee Bean but it was worth it and I was just able to recently deliver the final elements of our pilot episode. We’ve already gotten word from our distributor that there is a lot of interest and will probably end up doing 5 more episodes. This show has also opened the door for other shows and in two days I am actually flying back east to help shoot a pilot for another show. Here is the link to a promo of the project on our distributor’s website.

4. My Sister And I Sang At My Dad’s Wedding

Not too long ago my Dad met someone on eharmony.com. They started dating and after several months he proposed to her and she accepted. For my Sister and I this was something that was totally different and somewhat unexpected at first. But the more we talked with our Dad and the more we got to know Cindy the more we knew that they loved each other and would do their best to take care of each other. When it came time to start making plans I knew that I wanted to be involved but I had no clue that I would end up be blessed enough to sing with my sister during the candle lighting and to also be the best man at my Dad’s wedding. Cindy has three kids of her own that are all married and two of them have kids. This means that I have gained a whole new step family and have also gained someone that isn’t going to replace my Mom, but is going to add to the love that I already receive from so many people in my life. I am so happy for them both and I love getting to spend time with them and my new family.

5. I Auditioned For And Was Accepted Into The Santa Clarita Master Chorale

Ever since my Mom was ushered into the loving arms of Jesus it has been hard for me to be active musically. Singing or playing an instrument publicly was just something I couldn’t bring myself to do after I sang and played at my Mom’s memorial service. There were many reasons for this but chief among them was that my Mom was so proud and blessed by the abilities that the Lord had given me that using those gifts with her not around just seemed like a waste of time. But over the past few months I have had a chance to heal and to realize that I miss music terribly. And so I began to ask the Lord to show some opportunities to me that would glorify Him and bless others. Along came the Santa Clarita Master Chorale. Because they are close to the community that I am part of I knew it would be easy and convenient to participate with them but I also knew that they were a VERY talented singing group and would be difficult to get into. After waiting several months for the audition period to begin I picked an audition song, practiced for hours and low and behold I got in! I can honestly say this is an amazing and diverse group and I look forward to singing with them for a long time to come.

There have been many other things going on as well but for now those are the things that I wanted to share with all of you. I hope to begin blogging more now that life isn’t so hectic or painful as it was this past year or so. I also hope to share some additional things that the Lord has been doing but now is not the right time. When it is you will be amazed by how awesome He is… I know I am amazed everyday by who He is and how much I love Him.

Thank you for your prayers…

As of 5:00pm PST my Aunt was out of surgery and in the recovery room. The Doctors found 3 blockages and were able to repair them. My Aunt will have a brief time of recovery and will probably be home from the hospital sometime next week.

Here is how you can pray:

1. Praise God that he allowed the surgery to go well
2. Pray that God would heal my Aunt
3. Pray that God would protector her form infections and screw ups while she is in the hospital
4. Pray that God would comfort my family and I during this time.

Please feel free to pass this along to others.

My Aunt is having surgery today at 11:30am PST to determine where the problem in her heart is as well as to fix that problem.

Here is how you can pray:

1. Pray that God would heal my Aunt
2. Pray that God would guide the Doctors and not allow them to screw things up in surgery
3. Pray that God would heal my Dad who is having some non-life-threatening health problems today
4. Pray that God would comfort my Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt, Dad, Sister and myself during these continued trials

Please feel free to forward this on to others.

In the past all of you were very faithful in praying for my Mom and I can’t tell you how much that meant to me and my family to know that you were praying during some of those tough time as well as the time that God was answering your prayers.

Today I come to you and ask that you pray for my Mom’s Sister my Aunt Becky. Over the past 3 years she has been through sever health problems and has endured many surgeries, doctor screw-ups and some long stretches in the hospital. At this point she has spent more time in the Hospital than at home.

Right now she is back in the Hospital for a blockage problem in her heart. On top of that her potassium levels are high so at this point they are not able to do the surgery that will fix the blockage. Today and tomorrow they will be doing everything they can to lower her potassium so that she can have the surgery.

Here is how you can pray:

1. Pray that God would heal my Aunt.
2. Pray that God would comfort our family as we continue to face trials of many kinds.
3. Pray that God would reduce her potassium levels.
4. Pray that God would clear the blockage weather that be through His own hand or the Doctors.
5. Pray that God would not allow the Doctors to screw things up.

I will do my best to keep you updated with how things go tomorrow.

This whole “God allowing trials, temptation and tribulation in my life” stuff is not something God has equipped me to handle. I had my share of struggles and hard patches in my walk with Christ before, but the past 2-3 years have been overwhelmingly discouraging. The joy of my salvation and the joy of His provision of grace here on earth seems to be vastly overshadowed by the unrelenting storms He has allowed to come my way. It seems as if there have been no gaps in a continuing stream of God ordained and sanctioned torrents. Again, not all of it has been His doing, but the most potent and darkest ones have been things that were 100% out of my control (Neo-Calvinists need not comment either).

I’m physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually tired and worn down. As it says below “The waters have come up to my neck” and are rising fast. And if you’ve never been that way, or can’t remember the last time you’ve been that way then ya better check your pulse. I don’t care how many Bible verses you know and how perfect you think you are, we all face times of fatigue from the strains and the trials of this life on this earth.

Anyways, I’ll shut up and let this Psalm do the talking…

Psalms 69:1-36 ESV

“Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me. I am weary with my crying out; my throat is parched. My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God. More in number than the hairs of my head are those who hate me without cause; mighty are those who would destroy me, those who attack me with lies. What I did not steal must I now restore? O God, you know my folly; the wrongs I have done are not hidden from you. Let not those who hope in you be put to shame through me, O Lord GOD of hosts; let not those who seek you be brought to dishonor through me, O God of Israel. For it is for your sake that I have borne reproach, that dishonor has covered my face. I have become a stranger to my brothers, an alien to my mother’s sons. For zeal for your house has consumed me, and the reproaches of those who reproach you have fallen on me. When I wept and humbled my soul with fasting, it became my reproach. When I made sackcloth my clothing, I became a byword to them. I am the talk of those who sit in the gate, and the drunkards make songs about me. But as for me, my prayer is to you, O LORD. At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness. Deliver me from sinking in the mire; let me be delivered from my enemies and from the deep waters. Let not the flood sweep over me, or the deep swallow me up, or the pit close its mouth over me. Answer me, O LORD, for your steadfast love is good; according to your abundant mercy, turn to me. Hide not your face from your servant; for I am in distress; make haste to answer me. Draw near to my soul, redeem me; ransom me because of my enemies! You know my reproach, and my shame and my dishonor; my foes are all known to you. Reproaches have broken my heart, so that I am in despair. I looked for pity, but there was none, and for comforters, but I found none. They gave me poison for food, and for my thirst they gave me sour wine to drink. Let their own table before them become a snare; and when they are at peace, let it become a trap. Let their eyes be darkened, so that they cannot see, and make their loins tremble continually. Pour out your indignation upon them, and let your burning anger overtake them. May their camp be a desolation; let no one dwell in their tents. For they persecute him whom you have struck down, and they recount the pain of those you have wounded. Add to them punishment upon punishment; may they have no acquittal from you. Let them be blotted out of the book of the living; let them not be enrolled among the righteous. But I am afflicted and in pain; let your salvation, O God, set me on high! I will praise the name of God with a song; I will magnify him with thanksgiving. This will please the LORD more than an ox or a bull with horns and hoofs. When the humble see it they will be glad; you who seek God, let your hearts revive. For the LORD hears the needy and does not despise his own people who are prisoners. Let heaven and earth praise him, the seas and everything that moves in them. For God will save Zion and build up the cities of Judah, and people shall dwell there and possess it; the offspring of his servants shall inherit it, and those who love his name shall dwell in it.”

That kind of sucks when you think about it….

But this song doesn’t so enjoy…

“Lord Of The Past” (click here to download)
By: Bob Bennet

Every harsh word spoken
Every promise ever broken to me
Total recall of data in the memory
Every tear that has washed my face
Every moment of disgrace that I have known
Every time I’ve ever felt alone

Lord of the here and now
Lord of the come what may
I want to believe somehow
That you can heal these wounds of yesterday
(You can redeem these things so far away)
So now I’m asking you
To do what you want to do
Be the Lord of the Past
(Be the Lord of my Past)
Oh how I want you to
Be the Lord of the Past

All the chances I let slip by
All the dreams that I let die in vain
Afraid of failure and afraid of pain
Every tear that has washed my face
Every moment of disgrace that I have known
Every time I’ve ever felt alone

Well I picked up all these pieces
And I built a strong deception
And I locked myself inside of it
For my own protection
And I sit alone inside myself
And curse my company
For this thing that has kept me alive for so long
Is now killing me.
And as sure as the sin rose this morning,
The man in the moon hides his face tonight.
And I lay myself down on my bed
And I pray this prayer inside my head

Lord of the here and now
Lord of the come what may
I want to believe somehow
That you can heal these wounds of yesterday
So now I’m asking you
To do what you want to do
Be the Lord of my Past
You can do anything
Be the Lord of the Past
I know that you can find a way
To heal every yesterday of my life
Be the Lord of the Past

Last Thursday June 18th, 2009 fourteen people experienced the goodness, faithfulness and trustworthiness of God in a real and tangible way. On a day that should have been filled with sorrow, hopelessness and anger, God did what He does best: He redeemed the irredeemable. As we all gathered around and enjoyed a wonderful and filling meal, we had the opportunity to catch up on what has happened in each others lives this past year. God has done much and over the past year we have all become more fully devoted followers of Christ. This process of course has not been without trial, suffering or discomfort. In fact the majority of it took place as we attempted to fill the gaping whole in our life that my Mom left. Fortunately, it has been the Lord that has filled that gap and provided for our needs in ways we never could have imagined.

After the meal we all gathered in the living room and talked about the many memories we had of the Lord working in my Mom’s life. The more that was shared the more we all saw just how much the Lord used my Mom and even her illness, to teach us all to love Him more. We also talked about the various ways we had all been changed by the Lord’s work in my Mom’s life and the lessons that we learned from her faith in Christ. What stood out most to me was the various words that were used to describe who my Mom was: Forgiving, patient, generous, loyal, selfless, unconditional love, faithful… Going through that list it is easy to see that those are all attributes that my Mom learned from one place… the Lord Jesus Christ. The attributes that we will always remember about her belong also to that of her Savior. She was salt, light, a city on a hill and despite her illness, she reflected the Glory of God with everything that she had in her.

When it was all over, and we had stuffed ourselves with some amazing home-made desserts, I had to take a moment and step back and think about what had just happened. Instead of weeping with no hope, there were tears filled with the promise of a not to distant reunion. Instead of anger at God’s timing there was praise for 52 years that God allowed her to stay. Instead of crawling into a dark room, pulling the covers over our head and pretending that day didn’t exist, we embraced the trustworthiness, faithfulness and goodness of God in the life of His servant, my Mom. It was good to remember 2Timothy 4:7 “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith” (ESV). I went to bed that night grateful for the amazing things that God had done that day, in light of what had happened a year ago that day: He had redeemed the irredeemable.

Now it is almost a week later and once again my family is faced with another challenge to remember and know that God is trustworthy, faithful and good. A few days ago my Mom’s sister (my Aunt Becky) was rushed to the hospital with severe pain in her stomach. While the doctors couldn’t immediately find the problem, we prayed and asked God to help them find the problem and come up with a solution to relieve her pain. You see shortly after my Mom’s death, my Aunt had a seizure and was hospitalized for over six months. In that time the doctors and nurses made many mistakes that almost cost my Aunt her life, and when all was said and done, they billed her and my Grandmother outrages sums of money for their mistakes. Over the past six months since my Aunt has been home from the hospital she has endured excruciating physical therapy, insurmountable financial challenges and sub-par medical care from people that should go to jail.

All of this, while she has patiently and quietly grieved for my Mom…

So today when we all found out that she was to have emergency surgery that would set her back to where she was six months ago it was hard to remember the Lord’s goodness. When the doctor came out and told us that my Aunt’s surgery had saved her life for now, rather than healed her permanently, it was hard to remember the Lord’s faithfulness. When I saw her there in the hospital bed with wires and tubes coming from everywhere, machines breathing for her, and barely conscious, it was hard to remember the Lord’s trustworthiness. But then something happened; I remember the Lord’s work in my Mom’s life. I remembered that she got her strength not from Muhammad, or Buddha or the Pope or some cosmic force. I remembered that she didn’t get her strength from reading a book, or rubbing some beads or taking some drug. I remembered “I can do all things through Him (Christ Jesus) who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13 ESV).

As I remembered that I prayed out loud:

“Father God thank You for this day and thank You for Your blessings. Lord help us to remember that You are good, that You are faithful and that You are trustworthy. God You have given us so much strength over the past few years, Lord we’re asking for just a little bit more. And God I believe that You are a never-ending supply of strength so give us what we need to get through this and Lord don’t let us forget where it comes from… Your Son Jesus Christ. In His good name we pray… Amen.”

Now I am at my Grandmother’s house, after having a large and boisterous meal with her and my Grandfather. Looking at us in that booth tonight you would have never known that we had just come from the Hospital or that my Grandmother and Grandfather had been divorced for longer than three decades. We stayed up until just a few hours ago talking and supporting each other. I feel blessed that they are both in my life and I am so grateful to “The Big General,” as my Grandpa calls Him, for all the time God has given me to spend with them, despite the circumstances under which we have met these past few years. It’s another reminder of God’s goodness, faithfulness and trustworthiness during this time of trial.

Your prayers for my Aunt are appreciated and I will do my best to update everyone via my Twitter page which links to my Facebook and to the box in the upper right column of this blog.

Today at 6:15pm my family and I will be observing a moment of silent prayer. It will mark the day and time one year ago that my Mom was ushered in the loving arms of Jesus. At times it feels like that day was a long time ago. But for the most part the feelings, thoughts and overwhelming grief of that day have lingered just beneath the surface as I have wandered through the past 365 days.

I have listened to countless sermons, read a few books, received cards, wept through emails and have had some wonderful people speak God’s truth into my life. All of it has helped on one way or another, but the words the thoughts and prayers will simply never be enough. I dare say that no earthly thing will ever be enough to heal my heart and make it whole.

If there is one small lesson, one short thought, one simple message that I have received loud and clear from God it’s this: “Life on this earth is temporary… and that’s the way it should be.” There is no reason for us to long to stay here on this fragile, fallen and failing earth longer than God’s plan for us.

I am reminded of Paul’s words to the Corinthians,

“For we know that if the tent, which is our earthly home, is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life.” 2 Corinthians 5:1-4 ESV

Try applying that passage to one whom you love and has been diagnosed with a senseless disease that will slowly take her life. Try applying that passage to the hours you spend on the phone with nurses and doctors at 2am only to hear them tell you there’s nothing more you can do. Try applying that as you attempt to say your final goodbyes, only to be interrupted by your loved one crying out in pain and having to be sedated with Morphine. Try applying that as you count the seconds in-between the labored breaths and come to grips with the debilitating reality that the gap is increasing with brutal regularity. Try applying that as you hold their hand for the last time and watch the life slowly slip from their eyes and the strength slip from their grasp and they take their last breath.

My friends, I can say with all honesty that I failed… I failed to remember the faithfulness, trustworthiness and goodness of God.

I failed to remember the faithful God that created the universe, clothed the naked refugees, parted the Red Sea and sustained an entire people group despite their disobedience and rebellion. I failed to remember the trustworthy God that Abraham trusted despite being asked to sacrifice his one and only son Isaac, that Zechariah trusted despite God’s silence for 400 years and that Stephen trusted his life too in the midst of a hostile crowd. I failed to remember the good God that changes people’s hearts, empowers forgiveness and provides for all our needs in His perfect timing.

I forgot God, even though God had not forgotten me…

Now, after the toughest year of my life, I feel as if I am starting to remember the Lord. The word Remember is used over 130 times in the Old Testament and the majority of the time God is commanding us to remember what HE has succeeded in doing, not what WE have failed to do. Over this past year I have been challenged to regain an eternal perspective and abandon my selfish and unrealistic notion that I have any reason to be faithful to, to trust or to find true joy in anything on this earth that is temporal. Instead, I am to place my hope, faith, trust and expectation of good on the God who has given His Son Jesus Christ as a ransom for my life.

I have a feeling that this is not something that happens in a year, nor should it take place in a short amount of time. In fact, I can, should and want to spend the rest of my life enjoying God and proclaiming His faithfulness, trustworthiness and goodness to others. The best part is that as of the time that I write this, my hope and faith and trust is better placed today than it was a year ago, which shows God’s faithfulness to sustain me, His trustworthiness to lead me where I can’t see and His goodness to provide me with everything I need to get through this day with my mind stayed on the Gospel.

Pray for not only for my family and me today, but pray for yourself. Pray that you will not forget God in your time of need and that you will remember his faithfulness, trustworthiness and goodness, especially in those moments when all of them seem to be so far away.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Today my Dad, Sister and Granny (my Mom’s Mom) went out to Riverside National Cemetary for Mother’s Day. In the process of preparing for today, I was trying to think of what would benifit me as I work through the grieving process, but also what would benefit my family as well. As a result, I decided to prepare a short sermon to remind us of some things that would be encouraging and comforting on a tough day like today.

The Lord led me to John 11:1-45, the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. Of course it’s a passage that many of you are familiar with, but I can honestly say this passage is much more powerful, in light of loosing a loved one that is a Follower of Christ.

I think that the words the Lord gave me were not just for us and so I’d like to share the sermon with you in written format. I hope it comforts those of you who have lost a loved one and I hope it encourages the rest of you to watch out for your brothers and sisters in Christ that are suffering. One final note, please excuse the simple “3 Point Outline” approach. After all I am a recovering Baptist…

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Read John 11:1-45

Intro
Over the past 11 months we have been learning to live our lives here on earth without Mom. Some days, like today, have been tough then others and I think that it’s important for us, as we are moving through this greiving process to remember a few things.

1. God Is Still With Us
   a. Especially during the last few weeks of Mom’s life, it was really tough to remember that God was still with us. It was easy for us to say what Martha and Mary said:
   b. John 11:32 “Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.””
   c. Even Jesus on the cross felt forsaken and alone.
   d. He quoted from Psalms 22:1-2 “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest.”
   e. It’s so easy to feel alone when we are suffering… but we can’t forget the end of the story and that next part of the Psalm.
   f. Psalms 22:3-5 “Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel. In you our fathers trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them. To you they cried and were rescued; in you they trusted and were not put to shame.”
   g. The reason we know God is with us is because He has continued to be faithful to us even today. God has been watching over us from before He was born and will continue to watch over us for all of eternity.
2. We Still Need To Trust God
   a. This is also another reason why we know God is with us… is because because we have trusted Him before and he has been faithful to us in many ways that we can’t even see.
   b. We can trust that God has rescued us from the power of sin and we can see that in the fact that we have been changed from the inside out.
   c. We don’t have to be a slave to the things of this world, instead we are free to worship and to love God.
   d. I know that we’ve dealt with so many set backs that it’s hard to trust God. But I think that’s because it’s not God that has failed us but the other things that we have put our trust in.
   e. We put our trust in Doctors, or medicine, our own resolve, our friends, our church. But in the end all of those failed in one way or another because they are all imperfect.
   f. And even though we may not understand it right now, we can trust God’s perfect plan to take Mom from this miserable earth, and bring her to a place of eternal worship and satisfaction in Christ.
   g. We know that Mom trusted God and her trust in Him has more than paid off because her faith has become sight. She knows now that she didn’t trust in vain and she was not put to shame.
3. We Still Need To Be Devoted To Proclaiming The Gospel
   a. I know that it’s hard to proclaim the truth of the Gospel when we are hurting.
   b. But when I think about what has comforted me the most, I think of the Gospel.
   c. It’s because I have been reminded that one day, because God has rescued us, we will be reunited with Mom in a perfect, healed body and will spend eternity together worshiping Jesus.
   d. We need to remind each other of that truth, but we also need to proclaim that same hope to our friends and family that don’t know the Lord.
   e. So that they too can spend eternity worshiping Jesus with us and with Mom.
   f. The reason Mom spent her last hours on earth proclaiming Jesus, instead of complaining to Jesus, was because she knew the Lord had called her to do so, no matter what the circumstances.
   g. And she also knew that the strength to do such a difficult thing didn’t come from her… it came from Jesus
   h. Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through him [Christ] who strengthens me.”

Often times, it’s hard to imaging life without someone that is right next to you. But almost 3 years ago I did, and the emptiness that I felt was crushing. I was with my dear friend, Alese Coco. We had been talking about the latest challenges she faced with her treatment for Hodgkin’s Disease. Alese had already endured so much but was still as feisty and as funny as ever. “If you see a nurse walking by with a needle that has something in it, chances are it’s for me!” she said jokingly about her recent stay in a hospital. I laughed with her and was instantly hit by just how much Alese had changed my life.

When my Mom had fist been diagnosed with Stage IV Ovarian Cancer I hated hospitals and had not desire to joke about them, or their doctors or their nurses or their needles. And yet Alese, who had seen more doctor’s, nurses and needles than most of us would see in two lifetimes, still could joke about them. Alese had a strange and puzzling peace about them all… it certainly exceeded my understanding… even when she died 2 years ago today.

There was no fight that Alese did not think she could win, there was no obstacle that she did not think she could overcome, there was no “setback” that could set her back and it was all because there was no one she trusted more that Jesus Christ. I miss her a lot, and I’m glad that she and my Mom get to spend time with Jesus and with each other. In fact, I’m envious… that during the 731 days we’ve spent without Alese, she has been spending time with Jesus.

Pray for the Coco family and when you get a chance check out Fight2Win.org and learn how Alese’s story and faith is the driving force behind an organization that is committed to achieve a 100% cure rate for all patients diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.

My good friend Jonny Diaz just released an album on iTunes today. He has several others there already, but this is his latest offering and you can’t imagine how good this guy is. So follow this link to the iTunes store and buy it… it’ll be a worth while $6.99 to spend!

“More Beautiful You” – iTunes Store Link

You Are The Light
Tom Fettke

You are the Light we see.
You are the Truth we know.
You are the Life we live.
You are the Hope,
You are the Joy,
You are the Song we sing.

Living God
Loving God we glorify your name
High and Holy One come down
We lift our hearts in praise
Prince of Peace, Emmanuel
Jesus Lord of love

Within our hearts Your light.
Within our minds Your truth.
Within our lives Your love.
Living Your hope,
Spreading Your joy,
Singing Your beautiful song.

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You Are The Light – MP3 Recording

For a full description of the plan, as well as guide to get started you can visit the following links:

Prof. Horner’s Bible-Reading System Facebook Group
Prof. Horner’s Bible-Reading System PDF Download

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Day 1 Reading Plan

Old Testament
Genesis 1
Joshua 1
Job 1
Psalms 1
Proverbs 1
Isaiah 1

New Testament
Matthew 1
Acts 1
Romans 1
1 Thessalonians 1

Notes:

• “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.” (Genesis 1:1-2 ESV) – It doesn’t get any clearer then that… God created it all and was around from the beginning of the beginning.
• “And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.” (Genesis 1:31 ESV) – God did in in six days… period!
• “No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life. Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you or forsake you. Be strong and courageous, for you shall cause this people to inherit the land that I swore to their fathers to give them.” (Joshua 1:5-6 ESV) – Wow! God is promising a lot here! The best part is He will fulfill it all!
• “And they answered Joshua, “All that you have commanded us we will do, and wherever you send us we will go. Just as we obeyed Moses in all things, so we will obey you. Only may the LORD your God be with you, as he was with Moses!” (Joshua 1:16-17 ESV) – Wow! The PEOPLE are promising a lot too… too bad they don’t fulfill it… yet God is faithful!
• Job 1:1-5 – Gee whiz! Sounds like a great life!
• “And the LORD said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil?”” (Job 1:8 ESV) – This verse is troubling… God is the one who suggests Job as an example. It’s not as if Satan said, “Hey what about that guy?” I don’t think I realized that before.
• Job 1:13-19 – Job faces several types of calamity: Man-Made Disasters, Natural Disasters and Man-Made Evil.
• “Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.”” (Job 1:20-21 ESV) – I still don’t understand these verses. What was it inside of Job that allowed him to worship, even after he lost so much? After the evil, the accidents and the loss of family he still worships God?
• “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers;” (Psalms 1:1 ESV) – The word for “wicked” in Hebrew is most often used in Psalms (92 times), Proverbs (85 times) and ironically Job (40 times). It’ll be interesting to see how wickedness plays such a big role in these books.
• Proverbs 1:1-7 – So it’s obvious that wisdom is an important attribute and characteristic to pursue and to even pray for (cf. James 1:5).
• “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.” (Proverbs 1:8-9 ESV) – What an interesting description of the relationship between parents and children. Does this mean I look good when I do when I listen to their teaching?
• Proverbs 1:23-32 – It’s not only stupid not to listen to wisdom but it’s downright hazardous to your health! The consequences for ignoring wisdom are pretty steep and pretty heavy.
• “The ox knows its owner, and the donkey its master’s crib, but Israel does not know, my people do not understand.”” (Isaiah 1:3 ESV) – Is God saying that His people are dumber than oxen and donkeys? How sad is that?
• ““What to me is the multitude of your sacrifices? says the LORD; I have had enough of burnt offerings of rams and the fat of well-fed beasts; I do not delight in the blood of bulls, or of lambs, or of goats.” (Isaiah 1:11 ESV) – God is saying, “It’s over!” God still loves them, but their sacrifices are worthless because their hearts are far from Him.
• Isaiah 1:12-15 – The system that God has set up is no longer valid because of Israel’s sin!
• “Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your deeds from before my eyes; cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause.” (Isaiah 1:16-17 ESV) – God provides the solution to the problem and tell Israel EXACTLY what their sins are. Verse 17 is especially significant in light of Micah 6:8.
• Isaiah 1:21-23 – God explains that the city has become like an unfaithful wife… a whore. (Strong language!)
• Isaiah 1:24-31 – God explains how He will wreck the city as well as restore the city. God is specific and resolute. It will be done!
• Matthew 1:1-16 – For list of what all these names mean download This PDF of the Matthew Genealogy Name List (COMING SOON!)
• “And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.” (Matthew 1:19 ESV) – This verse perhaps gives us the best glimpse of the quality of Joseph’s character. A “just man” that didn’t want to publically shame Mary. Most men these days are NOT this gracious. In fact, it seems that this could have been the big scandal that sold dozens of newspaprysus.
• Matthew 1:22-23 – Prophecy was a big deal to the Jews that were reading this. It should still be a big deal to us today!
• Acts 1:1-11 – These opening moments in Acts are really dependant on the end of the Gospels. I think my favorite verse in this section is verse 11 “… “Men of Galilee, why do you stand looking into heaven? This Jesus, who was taken up from you into heaven, will come in the same way as you saw him go into heaven.”” (Acts 1:11 ESV)
• “All these with one accord were devoting themselves to prayer, together with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and his brothers.” (Acts 1:14 ESV) – The phrases “with one accord” and “devoting themselves” appear together many times in the book of Acts. What a picture of unity, perseverance (stole that from the Greek word for devotion: proskarterountes) and sticking together no matter what the situation. The fact that the early believers were also devoted to prayer should be a big deal to the chruch today as well. In fact, it should be a bigger deal for me.
• Acts 1:15-26 – Choosing a replacement for Judas Iscariot seemed like a pretty orderly process. The Bible doesn’t mention a fight between the nominating committee, the pulpit committee and ladies luncheon committee that all had different ideas of the who the replacement should be. Instead they all came together and did the right thing by praying and allow the Lord to run the process. What a great example!
• “Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus,called to be an apostle, set apart for the gospel of God,” (Romans 1:1 ESV) – I will never forget the Truth And Life Conference from 2007 where Dr. John MacArthur made an astonishing assertion that when we saw the word “servant” in the Bible it really meant “slave” (Greek word doulas).
• Romans 1:8-14 – Paul expresses just how much the Roman church means to him. His words are filled with both love and admiration for them.
• “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith for faith, as it is written, “The righteous shall live by faith.”” (Romans 1:16-17 ESV) – Paul, who was beaten and eventually killed for the Gospel, was a shining example of what it means to not be ashamed of the Gospel. The Gospel contains the power to save and also reveals God’s righteousness. There is so much that is very important in these few verses!
• “We give thanks to God always for all of you, constantly mentioning you in our prayers, remembering before our God and Father your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1Thessalonians 1:2-3 ESV) – These are kind words considering the reception and the controversy their visit to Thessalonica caused (cf. Acts 17:1-9). I have to be honest and say that it is incredibly hard to continually give thanks and constantly pray. But the Gospel is stronger and produces a “steadfast hope” that is transforming.
• “And you became imitators of us and of the Lord, for you received the word in much affliction, with the joy of the Holy Spirit, so that you became an example to all the believers in Macedonia and in Achaia.” (1Thessalonians 1:6-7 ESV) – The contagiousness and the attractiveness of the Gospel here is very evident. Paul and his crew were changed by the Gospel and became witnesses for the Gospel. As a result, The Thessalonians saw how Paul and his crew reacted under pressure and when persecuted and realized that they were the real deal. So the Thessalonians are changed by the Gospel and then turn around and modle the Gospel for others. I think the church should learn a little something from this!

First, I want to thank all of you who were willing to stand up and confront me on my error and the misinformation I posted in my last few posts. It takes a lot of courage to do so and it’s comforting knowing that all of you posted out of love and concern and not out of anger and hate.

Second, it can’t be overstated that a public form, such as this blog, has many pros and cons associated with it. Most of the cons have to do with writing things that can be misunderstood, writing things that are not well thought out and writing things that are critical of large groups of people. I think that my last few posts have accomplished all of those and that my dear readers, is a shame. It’s a shame that I did not share my opinions and thoughts in a meaningful and understandable way. It’s a shame that I wrote them from a precarious emotional and spiritual state. It’s a shame that I wrote things that were discouraging and divisive to a large group of people who are my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Third, throughout these posts I had based my opinions and thoughts, solely on what was available as public knowledge and did no behind the scenes research at all. At first, this was intentional because it seemed to me that Dr. MacArthur’s posts clearly weren’t telling the whole story and my hopes were that people would press themselves and others into seeking out the full truth and the full story. What I mean by that is this: When Dr. MacArthur posted the first three articles it really didn’t seem plausible that one sermon two years ago was really the issue he was addressing. Because it was unclear to me, I shared suspicions and conjecture based only on what he had wrote and didn’t take into account that there may have been other things that had happened behind the scenes that I had no knowledge of. Thus when Dr. MacArthur’s fourth article came out and answered some questions and concerns, but not the questions or concerns I wanted answers to, I continued my attack and concluded my posts based only on what was said instead of seeking answers to the questions and concerns I had.

Fourth, no one knows better than me that Matthew 18 is the primary passage when dealing with interpersonal conflict and disagreement amongst believers. Therefore, if I had concerns or questions with Dr. MacArthur’s articles, my first stop should have been to contact him personally. Even though he discouraged this in his post, if I felt my concerns and questions were such that his approach and conduct was damaging to the Gospel then I had a mandate and an obligation to approach him first. Instead, I posted a public blog throwing around accusations. Some that had merit and some that did not. However, even the concerns that may have shown some merit, have now been tarnished by those that were made out of anger and partial information.

Therefore, I have written the following letter to Dr. MacArthur:

Dear Dr. John MacArthur,

I am a former TMC student and I am truly grateful and blessed by the time that God allowed me to be there under your leadership and the leadership of the excellent and exemplary faculty and staff that you lead.

I am writing this letter and asking for your forgiveness. Shortly after you published the “The Rape of Solomon’s Song” I posted several entries on my blog (http://talesfromtheyellowbrickroad/blog) that were slanderous to you, divisive to the body of Christ and filled with ignorant and inflammatory accusations against you and your congregation. I admit that this entry was written out of anger and hurt from a separate and unrelated matter at another church that has deeply wounded and hurt me emotionally and spiritually. I do not offer this information as an excuse, but rather as a plea for your understanding, mercy and grace in this matter.

In addition, while I may have had genuine and valid concerns about the motives and reasoning for your posts, most of them have been clarified by your final post as well as information that has been passed onto me by several gracious and loving members of your congregation. Let me assure you Dr. MacArthur, that they confronted and approached me with the love of Christ and with the goal of pointing out my errors and calling me to repent of my unfounded accusations. Your sheep have been well trained by their shepherd and this has been the largest factor in my reason for this letter.

I know that you love and care for your flock and even for the Body of Christ at large. This is demonstrated by your commitment to TMC, TMS and to boldly defending and contending for the Gospel every time you step into a pulpit. Your words are often strong but never obscene and as a result your ability to comment on the words of another Pastor are perhaps best suited for someone such as yourself. I’m not going to pretend or assume that I know all the reasons you wrote those articles, but what caused my concern was not only the way you referred to Mark Driscoll and the way you didn’t refer to him.

The words that I read were filled with strong statements against his exegesis of the passage as well as to his overall problem with “filthy language.” With this I wholeheartedly agree that a strong rebuke is necessary and even required by those who are shepherds to other shepherds. But what struck me was the absence of the spirit of gentleness. You stated on a number of occasions that your motivation for the articles was because a group of believers has sent you a tape. What you didn’t state was that you love Mark and have his best interests at heart, along with the Body of Christ at large.

It’s important to note that this point, that some members of your congregation informed me that you have written to Mark on several occasions. Perhaps in those letters your tone was less harsh and more loving and I am willing to accept that. But, my concern was that this was not communicated in any of the first three articles and in the final article you mentioned a letter that you had written him two years ago that sounded just as strong as your articles. In fact, the impression I got, only from what you wrote in those articles, was that you wrote him one letter two years ago before submitting those three articles to the entire world. That is what has led me to wonder if you love Mark and those whom he shepherds.

It would be silly of me at this point to include a long list of scripture as a basis for this, as you have preached on all of them probably two to three times over the past 40 years. However I will submit the following for your consideration:

“Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.” Galatians 6:1 (ESV)

Dr. MacArthur I am willing to be humble and contrite if I have erred in my concern that you did not approach your articles in a spirit of gentleness. I am also willing to be humble and contrite if I have misunderstood the purpose of your article asthe well being of those that sent you the recording and not Mark and his flock. I am also hoping that you will receive my words in this letter in a spirit of gentleness.

Again, I am sorry for the words I used in my posts that were not loving, kind or gentle. And I have publically repented of those false statements and slanderous words on my blog and verbally to those in your congregation who approached me.

Your Brother In Christ,
Cliff Ames Jr.

Fifth, I want to restate something I said in my last post, but be more clear: Mark’s words to the people in Scotland would never be appropriate or okay for a Pastor to say in a Sermon from the pulpit. His exegesis on the Song of Solomon was bad and the language he used was explicit. I was mistaken is stating that he repented of the words he spoke to the people in Scotland, but I am not mistaken that his attempt to have it removed shows that he has realized his words were a problem.

Lastly my dear readers, I ask for your forgiveness for my errors, my false accusations, my assumptions and my poor motives for my posts. I have caused division amongst you because of my own selfish desire to express anger about something totally unrelated. It was not fair to accuse those that attend GCC of wrongdoing, especially since I do not attend GCC and have only been there a handful of times. I had no right to lump all of you into a singular category of those who hate Mark Driscoll or have treated him badly. And for those of you who have taken one side or another and have been arguing back and forth with each other whether online or in person, please, in the name of Christ, stop. Just so we are clear, I am renouncing, repealing, repenting and rejecting those words that were false, filled with error and written out of anger and as a result it is no longer necessary to carry on a debate or discussion based on my words on this blog.

If you feel like this is an unsatisfactory apology, repentance of my words or you are still concerned about what was said, then I beg you in the name of Christ, not to hold it against me, but to lovingly contact me as so many of you have already done. I will talk to you, email you or even chat with you in person if that is what it takes to repair a rift in our relationship.

I hope you will keep reading and will continue to participate when other posts come up that are more edifying and glorifying to Christ and His Bride. My intention isn’t necessarily to avoid controversial topics, but to post entries that will encourage and build up the Body of Christ rather then tear down and divide as I have done this past week.

Thanks in advance for your mercy and grace,
Cliff Ames Jr.

To begin I want to start with a little timeline I constructed, based on John MacArthur’s posts as well as Mark Driscroll’s posts and his own words:

• September 30th, 2007 – JMac sends his letter to Mark
• November 18th, 2007 – Mark gives the Song Of Solomon lectures in Scotland
• March 9th, 2009 – Phil Johnson publicly attacks Mark during the Shepherds Conference in a message called “Sound Doctrine; Sound Words.”
  
• March 26th, 2009 – Mark posts “John MacArthur On Bible Teaching” in which he adds JMac to the growing list of those who are part of the “New Calvinist” movement. He also applauds JMac for his longstanding devotion to defending scripture.
  
• April 5th, 2009 – Mark posts “Spring Cleaning” in which he realizes that his lectures “out of the country” were inappropriate for the internet and were meant to be private. He shares that he wants the lectures removed and that he appreciated his critics bringing this to his attention.
  
• April 14th-17th, 2009 – JMac launches his attack on Mark’s lecture via “The Rape of Solomon’s Song”

So, I am going to base my conclusion based on those events.

1. Mark’s Scotland lectures, messages, sermons or whatever you want to call them were not intended for public use and for JMac to construct his 4 articles around those lectures was not the wisest idea. It seems to me JMac picked the most inflammatory example he could think of in order to paint and cast Mark into a filthy, vile and despicable preacher and in order to satisfy the demands of those that sent him the recordings in the first place. It also makes me think he was hard pressed to find other evidence that could not be easily defended by Mark or others who would question JMac’s objectivity in his writing.

2. Mark’s Scotland lectures, messages, sermons or whatever you want to call them were bad exegesis. Mark went too far in interpreting the various symbols and such into body parts and various kinds of sexual activities. I think his attempt to have them removed didn’t go far enough. He needed to state in no uncertain terms that those lectures were not appropriate and that he has since revised his understanding of the Song of Solomon. And if Mark thinks he interpreted those passages correctly in that lecture and that turning symbolism into commands is okay then that is a problem worth noting.

3. Over the past few months Mark has received tons of media coverage and I think that makes JMac nervous, and for good reason. Mark is a young, vibrant energetic preacher and lots of us young kids have enjoyed learning and growing from Mark’s teaching over the years. But Mark sometimes has a Peter complex: he speaks without choosing his words carefully and sometimes is to impetuous to think through what needs to be said rather then what he wants to say. From my own observations I’d say Mark has grown significantly in this area which is a real tribute to how the Lord can still grow and change even a pastor of a mega-church. However, JMac’s concern seems to be that Mark has compromised his qualification to be a preacher because of the things he has said and at any moment is going to launch a “cussing preachers” movement that will corrupt the minds of the folks at TMS and TMC. But JMac should know better. He has trained those who have or are attending TMS or TMC to hold scripture as the ultimate authority and that no one, not even JMac gets a free pass if they are doing preaching things that are contrary to scripture.

4. I think JMac’s approach in these articles was bad. He sounds like a grumpy, angry, uptight, legalistic Father that needs to take a Prozac. Instead, JMac should have taken the approach of a loving Father and rebuked Mark for being careless in allowing those recordings to be made and distributed as well as not being quicker to see that he had erred in his exegesis. JMac needed to show humility and gentleness in his understanding of the situation and instead of using a letter sent almost 2 years ago as a warning. He should have made further attempts to seek out Mark’s heart. JMac’s words sound like an exasperated father who has written off his son as irredeemable, especially with his “Enough is enough” comment in his final post. Does JMac realize his unChrist-like statement? Does God ever say “Enough is enough” to JMac? Will God ever say that to one of His children who struggles with their sin? NEVER! God shows us Grace! God even shows JMac Grace! So why is JMac exempt from showing Grace to this young son?

My final point is this, I am willing to believe that JMac can change. I am willing to believe that the next time some preacher or ministry has strayed from the narrow path (even if it’s JMac’s own narrower path) that he can and will adopt a tone of Grace and Humility but will remain firm in defending Scripture. I’m know that JMac can be a loving and gracious person and have seen that repeatedly in his interaction with TMC and TMC students. He loves them, shepherds them and even extends grace to them when they err. He even extends grace to them if the err again. So why should someone else only receive one, six page letter before he is mercilessly and publicly rebuked for twelve pages two years later? If JMac and his followers continue to rebuke minsters of the Gospel using this method, then they need to change the name of their ministry from “Grace To You” to “Grace To Some.”

I just got home from work and briefly skimmed what it had to say but I realize now I am too tired to respond or process through what JMac said. I want to also take time to repond to some comments I have received. All of them have been much appreciated and well thought out.

However I would add this note… do not be afraid to post a comment here out of fear of GCC and John MacArthur or of MHC and Mark Driscoll. Don’t be slanderous, but don’t be afraid to speak your mind and share your thoughts. The Church does not rise and fall on the opinions of a fundamentalist or a liberal, nor their critics… It rises and falls on the Gospel… something I will be talking about more in my next post and will defend to my last breath.

Until then, keep the discussion going and read JMac’s final edict on Mark.

EDITED: Friday April 17th, 2009 @5:50pm

I have decided to let the weekend pass before I respond. After re-reading JMac’s final article again I realized that his reply to his critics was well played on his part and required more thought and care on my part. I also realized that my feelings about this matter needed to cool down before I went any further in my responses to comments or to JMac’s final article. I can honestly say I didn’t know how much this would upset me and so I want to take some time to be humble and more loving in my appraoch to this matter.

Shepherd’s Fellowship: “The Rape of Solomon’s Song – Part 2″

Shepherd’s Fellowship: “The Rape of Solomon’s Song – Part 3”

Second, here the excerpt that is most relevant to my post:

I was recently given a recording of one of these messages, where the speaker said, “Ladies, let me assure you of this: if you think you’re being dirty, he’s pretty happy.” Such pronouncements are usually made amid raucous laughter, but evidently we are expected to take them seriously. When the laughter died away, that speaker added, “Jesus Christ commands you to do this.” That approach is not exegesis; it is exploitation. It is contrary to the literary style of the book itself. It is spiritually tantamount to an act of rape. It tears the beautiful poetic dress off Song of Solomon, strips that portion of Scripture of its dignity, and holds it up to be laughed at and leered at in a carnal way. Mark Driscoll has boldly led the parade down this carnal path. He is by far the best-known and most prolific popular proponent of handling the Song of Solomon that way. He has said repeatedly that this is his favorite passage of Scripture, and he has come back to it again and again in recent years, culminating in a highly publicized series released on video via the Internet last year….

All a careful interpreter can say with certainty is that Solomon finds his bride pleasurable to all his sensory perceptions. He therefore likens her to the most pleasant and beautiful imagery he can think of—ointments and fragrances and visual delights—all concentrated together in one well-cultivated spot. A garden. The garden is “locked,” which, again, underscores the intimate privacy of pure marital love. Nothing requires the exegete to take it any further than that. Scripture itself doesn’t go further than that.

“It’s frank but not crass,” Mark Driscoll told a Sunday congregation in Scotland just less than 18 months ago. But then he continued by paraphrasing Solomon in a way that was totally crass and not even remotely close to what the Holy Spirit intended. (A CD copy of that shocking message, entitled Sex: A Study of the Good Bits of Song of Solomon was recently sent to me by some deeply offended and concerned Christians in the UK. It is primarily the reason I’m doing this series.)

Third, you need to read Mark Dricoll’s own words about his own words: The Resurgence: “Spring Cleaning”

Fourth, here is the excerpt that is most relevant to my post:

After finishing my fourth and final sermon of the day at Mars Hill Church and before heading home to kiss my children before they went to bed, I received two emails from an older pastor whom I respect very much. In love, he brought to my attention a piece of content from me online that some of my critics have picked up on. It was a message I did out of the country a few years back on the more controversial sections of the Song of Songs…. I want to thank my critics for teaching me that I have multiple audiences and that in addition to the room I speak to I am often also speaking to the world and need to keep repenting, learning, and growing in this skill for the sake of the gospel. In that way, my critics are helpful, and for them I am grateful.

Fifth, here is another blog that picked up JMac’s comments and asked a few good questions: Monday Morning Insight: “Mark Driscoll Has Boldly Led The Parade Down This Carnal Path”

Sixth, here are a few of those questions most relevant to this post:

4.  It seems to me that MacArthur’s tirade would seem to have more credibility if the people he’s lumping together were teaching something that wasn’t Biblical.  He might not like the way the material is presented.  It may be sensationalistic to him.  But every sex series that I’ve seen or heard of comes down to this:  Biblical sexuality.  One man.  One Woman (no homosexuality, lesbianism, trannies, etc. allowed).  No pre-marital sex.  No extra-marital sex.  How to deal with lust.  Those topics, given our current culture, seem like admirable topics.  Oh, and yes… Biblical as well.

5.  I find it somewhat ironic… no unbelieveably ironic that John names his article “The Rape of Solomon’s Song”.  What a provocative title.  Does John know what RAPE means?  Does John realize that the word RAPE is no where to be found in the Bible (at least the King James version).  What a sensationalistic title.  OK, maybe it’s not as sensationalistic as SolomonsBeenRaped.com; but I think you get the idea.  Why did John feel the need to use this title?  Could it be the same reason that churches use things like MyStupidSexLife.com.  It gets your attention.  And once you have attention, you can tell your story.  It’s the same thing, isn’t it?!

Finally, here are my own thoughts…

Unfortunately, John MacArthur is out of line this time by specifically targeting Mark Driscroll because of a personal dislike for his methods rather than a true concern for the content of his teaching. This is evident because Mark has already posted a repentance of his comments on the recording in question as well as for the language used during his sermon series. He did so on his blog (linked and quoted above) and vocally to his congregation in at least two of his last five sermons in the past month or so (when I find the links I’ll post them). He has also done all he could to to have the link removed from the internet. However, JMac has seen fit to post a link to the “crude” teaching he so outspokenly is complaining about.

Once again, sheep attacking other sheep. JMac has been one of Mark’s biggest and loudest critics and so have his followers like Phil Johnson and others. A session at the recent Shepherds Conference was devoted to tearing down Mark. My challenge to them would to spend a week in ministry in Seattle and see if their uptight fundamentalist approach to ministry would be effective or damaging to the Gospel. Their true problem with Mark is not the content of his teaching but his style and method of contextualizing the Gospel for the radically unsaved and pagan city of Seattle. To JMac and his followers it appears that contextualizing the Gospel has no place in the American Church and those that do so are bound to end up in their slanderous blog’s gunsights.

How dare they take the time to carefully and methodicaly plan out 3-4 blog posts devoted only to slandering another minister of the Gospel! What purpose is this serving JMac? I noticed in his most recent post that he is quick to belittle Mark’s motives for writing books an then shamelessly plugs his MacArthur Study Bible. How is that serving the Gospel and promoting unity among believers? Furthermore, if these UK believers are so offended by Mark’s teaching, they are Biblicailly mandated to take it up with Mark personally rather then fan into flame gossip and slander. JMac should know better and should have rebuked them for sending him the tape and not addressing Mark personally. Instead, JMac has taken this opportunity to be used as an instrument of division rather than unity. JMac’s legalistic side is brutally ugly in all of these articles and his attacks are not Spirit led.

Why can’t JMac spend more time encouraging Mark for what he’s got right? Such as the authority and supremacy of Scripture? Or the importance of preaching through the word book by book rather then topic by topic. What about the things they agree on such as creation, homosexuality and yes even the definition of marriage?

At the end of his most recent post JMac said:

Several questions have come up repeatedly from people who have commented on these articles, and in tomorrow’s final installment, I want to answer as many of them as possible.

I hope some of those questions are:

1. Why post a link to something you consider to be “crude”? Isn’t that just as bad as saying it yourself?

2. Why have you ignored Mark’s post about his repenting of the recording that caused you to start this whole series?

3. Why must you use a “know-it-all” legalistic approach to your post, rather then a humble, loving tone that even Mark has used to address critics like you? (See: The Resurgence: “John MacArthur On Bible Teaching”)

If JMac refuses to answer questions like these then there is only one thing to say…

John MacArthur… you need to repent!

The Gospel Conference
Cornerstone Community Church, Simi Valley, CA
Session 3/4: “The Recurring Patterns Of Life And Ministry”
Jeff Vanderstelt

1 Peter 2:9-12

The Six Rhythms Of Gospel Living

1. Story Forming
   • The Redemption Story = Creation–>Fall–>Redemption–>Restoration
   • Story As Family–>Each Other: Do you know the story of those in your family (community group etc)?
   • Story As Missionaries–>Neighbors: Do you know the story of those in your neighborhood and surrounding community?
   • Story As Servants–>Tangible Blessings: Knowing someone story will show you the gaps in their own Redemptive Story giving you the opportunity to be a tangible blessing
2. Listen
   • Listen To God First
   • Listen As Family–>Spirit/Each Other: Listen for fruit
   • Listen As Missionaries–>Neighbors: Listen for gaps in fruit
   • Listen As Servants–>Do It!: If we truly listen to someone we have to react by doing something to fill in the gaps
3. Celebrate
   • Christians have a lot to celebrate and party about!
   • Celebrate As Family–>Jesus Parties
   • Celebrate As Missionaries–>Redeem Parties
   • Celebrate As Servants–>Prep, Provide, Clean Up
4. Bless
   • There are enough resources here on earth to bless everyone
   • Bless As Family–>Each other
   • Bless As Missionaries–>What would bless instead of curse?
   • Bless As Servants–>Spend all he has given you!
5. Eat
   • In Scripture meals are used as tools of remembrance of God’s grace and provision
   • Eat As Family–>Remember grace
   • Eat As Missionaries–>Eat with neighbors
   • Eat As Servants–>Bring the food/Gospel over the table
6. Recreate/Rest
   • God rescued us so that we can find rest in Him
   • Recreate/Rest As Family–>Rest, play, create beauty, work unto God
   • Recreate/Rest As Missionaries and Servants–>Find what is missing

The Gospel Conference
Cornerstone Community Church, Simi Valley, CA
Session 2: “The Gospel And It’s Implications – Part 2″
Jeff Vanderstelt

1 Peter 2:9-12

Our Three Identities In Christ

1. A Chosen Race = Family
   • The best evidence of the Gospel and the best light for the Gospel is Christians loving and caring for one another
   • The Gospel can even be displayed in your repentance
   • We’ve been called to be a display to all people in the world of what God is like
2. A Royal Priesthood = Missionaries
   • We are Christ’s representatives
   • cf. 2 Cor. 5 The ministry of reconciliation is a metaphor for the Gospel
   • You are the priest in your community and neighborhood
3. A Holy Nation  = Servants
   • We are called to be different in every way
   • We most embody Christ in our servanthood
   • We are to be set apart but not separated from the world

The Bottom Line: We are called to be a family of missionaries that serve the King

Great Thoughts

• The best way to be a preacher is to live a life that demands an answer
• We are called to be worship leaders in whatever situation God places us
• Does your life resemble the truth of the Gospel?

I’m not sure that many of you have taken the time to read this awesome little book in the Old Testament. Yeah it has a funny name but there is nothing funny about this book. Habakkuk has only 3 Chapters and 56 verses but don’t let this little book fool you. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve needed to turn to this book for guidance and comfort.

• 1:1-3 – These first few verses set the tone for the opening part of this book. A truckload of questions about some of the toughest stuff to deal with: unanswered prayer, seeing the sinful go unpunished and experiencing injustice. The trick is that all those things are as a result of Habakkuk’s own people, Israel.
• God’s response is that He is working behind the scenes and is raising up the Chaldeans to deal with the sin of Habakkuk’s people.
• Wow, the list of stuff the Chaldeans have and can do would definitely make me crap my pants if I was a part of Israel. I wonder if Israel knew what was coming they’d repent? Oh wait… they did!
• 1:12 “Are you not from everlasting, O Lord my God, my Holy One? We shall not die.” I wonder if Habakkuk is reminding God or rminding himself inlight of what’ coming?
• I agree with Habakkuk Israel is bad, but the Chaldeans are worse. Sometimes it seems that the punishment is lopsided and doesn’t fit the crime.
• 2:1 “I will take my stand at my watchpost and station myself on the tower, and look out to see what he will say to me and what I answer concerning my complaint.” It’s so easy to throw up a prayer or even a complaint to the Lord and then not expectantly wait for an answer. I know that I’ve treated God like a suggestion box, just dropping in my complaints and never expecting a reply. But Habakkuk gets it right. He goes to the highest point and expectantly waits for God’s answer both spiritually and physically. He would have seen the army coming.
• God’s grace in the midst of Habakkuk’s questioning is a great comfort. God not only responds, but He’s detailed and precise.
• Five Woes to the Chaldeans and all those who act like them!
• 3:1 -  Habakkuk’s response to God’s reply is to worship. Despite the fact that judgment is coming for Israel’s sin, Habakkuk finds comfort in God’s ultimate judgment of those that carry out Israel’s sentence unjustly.
• 3:17-19 – Even though Habakkuk’s world is falling apart he is rejoicing in the Lord and in the Lord’s salvation. He even calls the Lord his strength. What an important reminder to be mindful of the Lord’s promises when the bottom falls out. I can honsetly say, it takes a lot of faith to do so.

I recently read through the entire book of Hebrews in one sitting. Hebrews was written by an unknown Author (although I’ve always leaned toward Apollos) and has 13 chapters and 303 verses. It was surprisingly easy to read through it and later found out from a good friend that it may have been a transcription of a sermon. Whatever the case may be, here are a few of the thoughts and questions I had as I was reading through.

• Jesus is more glorious and worthy of worship over every other created thing… period.
• The Psalms don’t just talk about Jesus they shout His essential attributes.
• 2:1 “There fore we must pay much closer attention to what we have hear, lest we drift away from it.” (ESV) This tore me up. I know I have been drifting big time because I haven’t paid much attention to the Word until recently.
• God has been making Himself know since the beginning.
• 2:8b “Now in putting everything in subjection to him, he left nothing outside his control.” I bet that includes the good the bad and the ugly. But what about me? Have I been in subjection to Him?
• 2:18 “For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.” Again, another verse that laid me out. I have no excuse for yielding to temptation.
• Houses are nice but it’s the builder who gets the glory. Hopefully I can just be a 2×4 for the Builder Jesus. He was a carpenter after all!
• 3:13 “But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘today,’ that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.” I haven’t been doing a lot of exhorting lately, much less daily. Guess it’s time I shape up for my own benefit as well as the benefit of others.
• 4:12 “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Ouch. It seems that God’s Word is a big theme in this book. Guess the Lord knew I needed to be reminded of just how important His Word is.
• Jesus was tempted in every way… guess I’m not so special after all.
• Hard to tell the difference between good and evil if you’re not paying much attention the decisions you make and the situations you put yourself in.
• God swears by Himself… how awesome!
• I’ve always thought this Melchizedek dude was pretty interesting. A King, a Priest and he even gave a tenth of his loot to Abraham. Whatever the case, Jesus is still better.
• Although animal sacrifices had their place, they never fully took care of the problem of sin. That’s why Jesus had to come along and finish the job.
• 10:23-25 “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” Jesus is faithful, and we should be faithful to Him and to those whom He has seen fit to put in out path.
• 10:35-36 “Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.” It’s had to admit this, but I’m recovering my confidence not in this life, but in the promise of the life to come.
• Faith, faith and more faith. Everyone from the big names like Abraham and Moses to the small names like Jephthah and Rahab the bottom line was not their deeds, it was their faith.
• Hebrews 12:1-3 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, adn sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race tha tis set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfector of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself so that you may not grow weary or faithearted.” No matter what name was on the list in the hall of faith, they paled in comparison to the faith of Jesus. His example should give me the strength to keep fighting when I am weary from this every day battle of life.
• 12:12-13 “Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed.” I know that my hands have drooped and my knees are weak. It is encouraging to know that the Bible has verses for people like me and for times like these in my life.
• The closing thoughts of this letter are so practical and so precise as to their instruction that you can’t just ignore the fact that inlight of all the soul searching the text was calling for, the persecription was looking toward those around you instead of yourself.

Bus Driver
By: Caedmon’s Call

I am a bus driver
and it’s four in the morning
And I’m pressing out my clothes beside my bed
Fourteen years been on the job and with many miles behind
Still I’m up at three thirty to make sure I’m there on time

My car gets me along just fine to and from the station
But my castle is this Houston Metro Bus
My first stop is Ashbury.
And the sign’s been gone for years
but all the same the people wait cause they know that I’ll be there.

What would you say if I told you that I won’t be by today?
Would you say that I’m just a bus driver
and what do I know,
just a bus driver
and what do I know,
just a bus driver
and what do I know?

Well, I’m always there by five fifteen
and lately I’ve been early
’cause Judith likes to be in early to the bank.
And she gives me conversation and a token good for riding.
And she’s happy all alone

And then there’s Charles in retail sales;
and I hope they pay him well
for the work that young man does
Cause I’ve never seen the inside
of a custom refrigerator
but I know he’s the first and last one there

I wonder what they do all day,
and their respective works.
Suppose they give money and take money away.
Still, I’m just orbiting this town
with the post office my sun.
And I’m circling again.

And I wonder how this world would be
if I was never here to drive this bus around from Ashbury to Main.
Suppose this town would be the same
but with one bus’ less exhaust.
But that bank and retail stores,
they just wouldn’t be the same.

But what can I see from the limited confines of my bus driving seat
Only me

Truth And Life Conference 2009
Living In A Broken World: Suffering In The Life Of A Believer
The Master’s College

Session 1: Seeing The Sovereignty Of God In Our Suffering
Dr. John MacArthur

Four Thoughts On Evil

1. Evil Exists
   • Natural Evil – Disasters
   • Moral Evil – Personal
   • Supernatural Evil – Demonic
   • Eternal Evil – Hell
2. God Exists
   • God Is Sovereign
   • God Rules Over Everything
   • God Is Responsible For Everything
3. God Wills Evil To Exist
   • Process Theology
   • Openness Theology
   • Metaphysical Argument
   • Autonomous Argument
4. God Wills Evil For His Own Glory
   • Romans 3:5
   • Romans 5:8
   • Romans 9:19-23
   • Job 38-40

Best Rhetorical Question
Would you rather have a God that is trying to get a hold of evil or is already in control of evil?

Best Thoughts
1.    The greats evil of all was perpetrated on Christ for the purpose of glorifying God.
2.    When God came to earth in human form He could have chosen many ways to reveal His glory. Of all the methods He could have chosen, He chose compassion. He opened people’s ears to hear, He resorted people’s sight and He even raised them from the dead. God’s miracles were by nature compassionate.

My homeboy Mark Driscoll is currently featured on the front page of the NYTimes website. I have to admit, this article made me laugh big time!

Conservatives call Driscoll “the cussing pastor” and wish that he’d trade in his fashionably distressed jeans and taste for indie rock for a suit and tie and placid choral arrangements. Liberals wince at his hellfire theology and insistence that women submit to their husbands. But what is new about Driscoll is that he has resurrected a particular strain of fire and brimstone, one that most Americans assume died out with the Puritans: Calvinism, a theology that makes Pat Robertson seem warm and fuzzy.

Not only is this article well written, but it gives great exposure to a church that is doing some awesome things! What a breath of fresh air and a welcome change!  Keep it up Pastor Mark and keep a seat open for me when I finally get to Seattle!

I hope this new year will be filled with joy
For last year’s sorrow I could not avoid
A new start is what we all really seek
How we long to only take a peek

I wonder what this new year holds for us
Whatever happens God will prove my trust
Something tells me with each passing day
God will show me all His perfect ways

As we move along the line of time
Past events are always in mind’s eye
Rejecting the temptation to stay put
I’ll continue to put foot in front of foot

Starting this year fresh will be my goal
‘Cause one day I’ll wake up and find I’m old
To old to change if I did what God asked
So Happy New Year let’s hope it’s not fast

6 months ago today my Mom was ushered into the loving arms of her Savior. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about her, remember her, or feel the emptiness in my life. For the past 6 months I have been trying to learn how to live each day without her. Without her encouragement. Without her wisdom. Without her smile. Without her hugs. Without her incredible gift from God to encourage those in pain.

Let’s face it, when you loose someone you love, your life is never the same. Your life becomes a sudden battle for grief verses normalcy. Grief knocks you to your knees while normalcy helps you get up. Those things that are constant in your life, and never change are what make grief grow weaker and weaker each day.

Which is why it’s essential for us to always have Jesus as the constant in our life. Jesus as a “Man Of Sorrows” knows grief and it’s power well. In fact, He knows grief better than anyone. And yet He does not despair, He does not give up and He does not pretend that grief is not real. If Jesus is the constant in your life, no trial, no firestorm, no evil deed and no loss of a loved one will ever overpower you.

“Back To Bethlehem”

December 13-14, 19-22, 2008
7pm-9pm
The Church At Rocky Peak

_

Not too far from LA is a church that has come up with a revolutionary way to change the way folks look at Christmas. Many years ago, The Church At Rocky Peak started a ministry called “Back To Bethlehem”, a re-creation of the city of Bethlehem on the night of Jesus’ birth and serves as an outreach to the community. There are may churches out there that have a cute nativity scene, or a Christmas pageant, or petting zoos, but they are all a cheap imitation compared to traveling back in time and interacting with villagers in their town of Bethlehem. Participating with town merchants and craftsmen. Avoiding the Roman centurions and tax collectors! Or seeing for yourself, an overworked innkeeper, excited shepherds, three mysterious travelers, angelic visitors and a young couple with a newborn baby.

A description alone doesn’t really do justice to the extent these folks have gone to in order to present the real Gospel for Christmas. For these folks it’s not about bragging and boasting about how many baby Jesus’ they have on call, it’s about how many people receive the greatest gift there is: the gift of salvation.

If you’re in the LA area over the next few weeks, I would encourage you to invite an unsaved friend to “Back To Bethlehem” and see how this one-of-a-kind event can change their perspective about Christmas forever.

]]> http://talesfromtheyellowbrickroad.com/blog/2008/12/05/back-to-bethlehem/feed/ 0 http://talesfromtheyellowbrickroad.com/blog/2008/12/02/hairpin-curve-part-1/ http://talesfromtheyellowbrickroad.com/blog/2008/12/02/hairpin-curve-part-1/#comments Tue, 02 Dec 2008 22:20:32 +0000 Cliff Ames Jr. http://talesfromtheyellowbrickroad.com/blog/?p=481

Hey guys I’m working on a short story and would love your feedback or suggestions. I’m going to publish this in various parts so feel free to contribute regularly.

____________________________________________________________

As Victor stepped back from the cold, lifeless body of his uncle, he holstered his weapon and looked around. The gunshot had pierced through the darkened forest like a thunderclap traveling across an open plain. It had only taken one shot to subdue the old man and thankfully, Victor could now begin the process of the cover-up. The long, mountain highway he was on twisted and ambled through thirty-eight miles of forest and led to the summit of a small mountain topped by radio towers, satellite receivers and various other pieces of communication equipment that connected two worlds. The crowded and smoggy city in the valley and the sparse sweltering community of high-desert dwellers were so different one would think that they were part of two different countries. But, the county line extended well into the dessert giving folks in the desert access to county resources and giving the masses of the city cause to resent and persecute those living on their tax dollars. The tension between the two populations led to frequent acts of violence perpetrated on those that accidentally ventured into the other’s territory. It was precisely that tension Victor was banking on.

DeborahAmes.org

So when I came across Donald Millers blog and found the following statements on these two major issues, plus an additional statement on the faith of both candidates, I nearly leaped for joy! So thank you Donald Miller for once again putting into words something that I have had so much trouble expressing.

On abortion:

I am a pro-life voter, but do not believe John McCain’s plan on the issue will work. McCain’s only stand on the issue has been a recent switch to a pro-life position, and a promise to continue the attempt to criminalize abortion through the Supreme Court.I believe this is an empty promise, and anybody who understands our judicial system would know this. Chief Justice John Roberts of the Supreme Court (our most conservative Judge, many feel, and the pro-lifers greatest hope for the plan to criminalize abortion) has stated that Roe V. Wade “is the law of the land” and has been backed up in precedent by the Casey case. He does not believe it is plausible to overturn both rulings. Of course it is possible, but it would take a judicial miracle and the appointment of even more conservative, activist judges. This is the only way the overturning of Roe V. Wade will happen. The continuation of rhetoric about being pro-life but not having a realistic plan has tired me of the Republican Party. As more and more evangelicals walk away, I hope Republicans will stop giving lip-service to this important issue. My hope is they will realize they are going to lose more and more votes until they are willing to engage in a bipartisan effort to make progress with comprehensive legislation that is realistic and actual.

The Democrats have proposed comprehensive legislation called the 95/10 initiative that aims to reduce the number of abortions that take place in this country by 95% within 10 years. While Barack Obama is a pro-choice candidate, he supports this and similar legislation. This is the only proposed and realistic strategy that can move us around the cultural impasse that is breathing hate and anger into the Christian community.

While Barack Obama opposes late-term abortions, he has made promises to the National Organization or Women to make progress in a woman’s right to chose. I wish Obama were more strong on this issue. Still, I do feel he will accomplish more than John McCain, as John McCain has only recently taken this position and offers no legislation and no plan.

This is a very debatable issue. There are facts on both sides that seem to refute any argument made. But I have had to do the research and take a position and, for now, this is my position.

Gay Marriage:

This is not an issue I think much about because I am neither gay nor married, but I understand the evangelicals desire to protect the sanctity of marriage and define it as an exclusive relationship between a man and a woman. I agree with both candidates on this issue as they both oppose gay marriage but protect constitutional rights for domestic partners. In order to oppose civil rights for homosexuals, you would have to change the constitution which I think is dangerous. I agree with McCain and Obama both on this issue as they have stated the same position.

On other issues that are no less important although less heated such as the economy, globalization and trade, the environment and energy, I support Barack Obama’s positions over John McCain’s.

But let me make something very clear. I don’t dislike John McCain. I think he is a good man and a drastic improvement over Republican candidates in the past. I do wish he were a Christian, or would talk about faith, Jesus, Redemption or the Cross. Barack Obama does, very often, and very unashamedly. I am uncomfortable with the idea of a truly secular man in the White House, a man who has no church, no pastor, does not read the Bible and may not even pray. John McCain seems like a good man, but a secular man. I want our next President to talk and listen to God.

I think I can honestly say we should sing the following song…

“Some to Jesus I surrender
Some to Him I sort of give
I will sometimes love and trust Him
In His presence sometimes live

I surrender some
I surrender some
Some to You my blessed Savior
I surrender some”

Surrendering all to Jesus just hasn’t been difficult for me all of my life. With all the major changes He threw my way over the past year, it’s been even harder to let go and surrender everything to Him.

I trust myself, I rely on myself, I can take of myself, I know myself and I love myself. But I have trouble trusting God, relying on God, allowing God to take care of me, knowing God and loving God. The problem is, I will always fail and He will never fail. In recent conversations, I’ve come to realize that I am the one that has failed time and time again in many areas, but that God has never once failed me. Just because He allowed blessings for a time and then took them away, doesn’t mean He has failed.

I have a feeling that very few people could meaningfully sing the actual words to that song…

“All to Jesus I surrender
All to Him I freely give
I will ever love and trust Him
In His presence daily live

I surrender all
I surrender all
All to You my blessed Savior
I surrender all”

It’s hard to surrender. It’s hard to raise you hands to God in surrender when the whole world has been turned upside down and you feel like the only thing you’ve got going for you is gravity. Well guess what? Gravity… that’s God’s faithfulness. You think that breath you just took was something you did? Nope… Turns out that’s God’s faithfulness too. Have you tried to create a Solar System latley? Some of you can’t even creat an Excel Spreadsheet let alone a planet. So when the tough times come (not if but when) and you think you can go it alone and you don’t need to surrender to God, be prepared for a thumping. I can honestly say from my own experiences that surrender is the only option.

Too bad we don’t do it more often…

Big Announcement #3: I Am Looking For A New Home Church

After 16 years at the same church, God has made it abundantly clear that it is time for me to move on to a new church. I have spent over half my life at that church and didn’t quite imagine things ending the way they did. I think the shock and denial has worn off and I’ve moved on to some of the other stages of grieving for this departure, but suffice it to say, I am relieved to finally be leaving and I know they are relieved that I am leaving as well.

That being said, I am departing with a “good standing” as far as membership goes, and I want to state for the record, and for those that may read my blog and still decide to go there: I am making this decision because it is what is best for me. For too long I did what I thought was best for the church but in the long run I think that was wrong. I truly believe that for many reasons this church got in the way of my relationship with God and instead of putting Him first, I put their reputation and even my own reputation above standing up and doing what was pleasing an honoring to God. Let it also be said that there were mistakes made on both sides. I can only be responsible for my mistakes, and taking responsibility for them, and I believe I have done so. There is no need for me to drag their name through the mud or warn those that still attend of the dangers of the church. And there is certainly no need for me to ever have any doubts that there are people at that church that love the Lord.

That being said, I know that I have made some eternal friendships and most recently some earthly enemies. I will continue to do my best to maintain those friendships and will do my part to be at peace with all men if possible. While it would be nice if those that are my enemies would repent of their sin and choose to be at peace with me, I am fairly certain that the devil’s foothold is strong in their lives and only God can change that if He wants too. Those who have stood by my side despite the risk to do so and pressure not to do so, have a special place in my heart and will certainly reap the eternal benefits of doing the right thing in the face of opposition. Those that aligned themselves with my enemies and chose to believe the lies from The Accuser, will have to answer to God, who has all of eternity to make things right.

Over the coming weeks I’ll be looking for a new church home, a process which I am fairly new to and have much anxiety and trepidation about and here is where I could use your help. I have a few questions and hope that you can take some time to answer them:

1. What kinds of things do you look for in the first visit to make sure the church is legit?
2. I’d say for me the most important thing would need to be a sermon that is doctrinally sound and presented in a meaningful and understandable way. What should be my priority after that?
3. Does the size of the church matter? I am well aware of the cons of a mega-church but I’d like to attend something that is bigger then a Bible Study and has resources to help inwardly and outwardly. What are your thoughts on size?
4. What should be some doctrinal deal breakers? Obviously if a church worships someone other than Jesus that’s a deal breaker… but what are the basics the church should take a stand for?
5. Are there any churches in the Southern California Area that you’d recommend? What about some churches or denominations to stay away from?

In closing, I’d like to ask you all to pray about some things:

1. Pray that God shows me the right church
2. Pray that I listen when God shows me the right church
3. Pray that I will have the courage attend the right church and not be afraid of being hurt again
4. Pray that those who stood beside me will continue to do so by the grace of God
5. Pray that I will be protected from those that stand against me both physically and emotionally

This is the last of the Big Announcements… thanks for hanging in there!

For the past 7 years September 11th has been a day that has caused many to pause and ponder the fragility of human life. As a nation we have never experienced grief of this magnitude since Pearl Harbor so many decades ago, still fresh in the minds of another generation. One day in the future, people of this generation will tell the next generation why this day was so pivotal in our lives. And, just as our generation did, they won’t understand it until the defining and pivotal moment comes in their lifetime.

What is so fascinating about a day like September 11th is the scale, the comprehensiveness and the universality of the grief it brought about.

First, almost 3,000 people died as a result of the direct attacks that day and over 3,000 more have given their lives in the ensuing war. That makes the total cost in human lives (from America alone) at over 6,000. Imagine for a moment if only two people knew each of the 6,000 people that have died and you have at least 18,000 that have died or were directly affected by those events. But the list doesn’t stop there. Each of those two people have a few friends and pretty soon the number of those who are only 1 person away from the tragedy has grown quite a bit. Add to that the number of people who saw the attacks, and have watched the coffins arrive live on TV and now you have millions of people that witnessed a traumatic life changing event. The scale of grief is overwhelming to think about.

Second, the grief takes on many shapes and fashions. There is the immediate grief caused by the death of a loved one. There is the empathetic grief that others feel toward those that are left behind. There is the fearful grief at the loss of our safety and security. There is the angry grief at the failure of leadership to prevent the attacks and their decision to implicate an innocent nation instead of getting the real bad guys. There is the survivors grief of those who escaped buildings, called in sick, missed flights or had a feeling to take a different route than normal. There is the spiritual grief for those that can’t piece together how a loving and caring God could allow such terrible things to happen to those He says He loves and to their families. There is the guilty grief that wishes they had said “I love you,” or had hugged someone or forgiven someone but never got the chance. There is the intellectual grief that causes people to crunch numbers and count statistics on how it was almost impossible for all the tumblers to fall into place and allow the devil himself to be unleashed. The comprehensiveness of the grief is also overwhelming to think about.

Third, all humans will face grief in its various and insidious forms. It may come in the form of cancer, or a hurricane, or a tornado or a weak levy, but most often it comes from you and me. That’s right everyone, look around, look in a mirror and you will find the main source of grief in all it’s gory glory. Mankind. If we’re not doing something to hurt ourselves, we’re probably doing something to hurt someone else. No one in this life can escape it from the moment they are conscious of themselves to the moment they take their last breath. All have tasted the grip of grief. All are shaped by it, most don’t understand it, some embrace it and few deny it. We all know what it’s like to loose someone, even if it is not death that separates us. Perhaps it’s time, perhaps it’s hurt perhaps it’s distance. Whatever it may be, we have all lost people we cared about. We also have felt the sting of defeat in the midst of a battle. Perhaps it’s a battle with a disease, perhaps it’s a battle with sin, perhaps it’s a battle with God. There is no way to overlook the battles we’ve all lost in one way or another. The universality of grief will always be overwhelming to think about.

So where does that leave us 7 years later?

7 years later we still grieve, 6,000 people are still dead and everyone has been changed by this one event for the rest of their lives here on earth. I can only think of one other event in history that has affected mankind in such a way. It is the eucatasrophe of the cross. Out of the grief, pain, loss and fear that came in the final moments of the cross, there came an event that turned a catasrophic event into a glorious moment of hope and strength for those that needed it the most. The Resurrection. From the rubble of a mountain shaped like a skull came the new, pure and glorified body of the One who had made it all to begin with. Such is the work that only someone like the God of the Bible can do. Only God can take the shattered and torn in heart, the broken and weary in faith, the lonely and grieving in spirit and bring about a sudden and complete reversal that undoes the power of grief and transforms it into joy. And only God can heal those who grieve.

I heard a story once that when Vince Lombardi first took over the Green Bay Packers he faced some real challenges. Legend has it that one day, out of frustration for their poor performance, he stopped practice and had all the players gather around him and a football. He is rumored to have told his his players, “This is a football. These are the yard markers. You are the players. I am the coach.” He then went on to explain each detail of the game of football as if they had never heard it before, not out of disrespect, but beause the players had forgotten the basics of the game and the ultimate goal.

Everyone in a while I think God stops practice, gathers us around and says, “This is a Bible. This is my Son. I am God. You are not.” God has a way of reminding us about the basics of what it means to be a follower of Christ. Usually that moment comes in the midst of a trial or failure when we need it the most. Sometimes it happens when everything seems to be going okay, and we feel like we’re at the top of our game. It’s easy to be deceived into thinking that things are going well, but it’s a big wake up call when The Coach has you on the bench because you’ve forgotten the basics. Maybe you even felt like you made a big play but He puts you on the bench anyways. Don’t forget, the basics: He’s God… you’re not. It’s all about playing the game for Him, not for yourself or your glory. And when you get back on the field, don’t go right back out there and forget the basics again, or it’ll be another lap in the wilderness for you.

Eventually we’ll learn the basics and we’ll never forget them. By that time we’ll have played many games. Lost some and won some. But no matter what the record may seem to be to you, The Coach still has a perfect season everytime. And at the end of the season you get a crown and a trophy to enjoy with The Coach for your retirement. You’ll be so banged up and bruised from the game you’ll look foward to the rest and the satisfaction of knowing that The Coach said, “Well done good and faithful player.”

So take some time this week to get back to the basics…

It’s about time I did.

1. “Elizabethtown” – The phone conversation between Will (Orlando Bloom) and Claire (Kirsten Dunst) while they each go about their lives and talk for hours on end. When they meet in person, they realize the phone was better.

2. “Seabiscuit” – When Tom Smith (Chris Cooper) is trying to get Seabiscuit to calm down and tries using a goat. The goat then is launched through the air from the stable by the horse.

3. “Lord Of The Rings” – When Merry (Dominic Monighan) and Pippin (Billy Boyd) light the dragon firework at Bilbo’s (Ian Holm) birthday party. Pippin’s scream is hilarious.

4. “The Matrix” – The entire conversation between the Oracle (Gloria Foster) and Neo (Keanu Reeves). I think that was the scene the made me like the movie despite Keanu Reeves.

5. “Amadeus” – The final scene where Solieri’s (F. Murray Abraham) story and bitterness devestates the Priest (Herman Meckler) and assures the audience that Solieri belongs in the institution.

Big Announcement #2: I Will Not Be Returning To The Master’s College

Okay so maybe I lulled you into a false sense of security when I made my first announcement but to be fair I did warn you a while back.

So yeah, this is a BIG announcement and I am going to do my best to explain the situation while maintaining the privacy I talked about last time.

Here goes…

1. It’s A Matter Of Character

Some time ago, a situation came about where I faced a major crisis that turned into a legal problem. The resolution of that legal problem called my character into question and left me picking up the pieces of my life 19 days after my Mom died. During the legal process I was unable t