The End Of The Firestorm

Posted on February 24th, 2010 by Cliff Ames Jr.

If you’ve been following my blog or my Twitter account over the past few years then from time to time I’ve made a mention or two about a firestorm or firestorms that I had been dealing with for quite some time. In fact, it began in late October of 2007 when a major conflict occurred between me and someone else that attended the church I called home for over 16 years. This conflict between us dragged in countless innocent people and as a result the Elders got involved early in the process. Unfortunately, some bad decisions were made early on that led to catastrophic and life changing consequences in my life. Instead of the situation being handled Biblicaly, a false accusation was made and legal action was taken against me.

While I was dealing with this situation my Mom’s cancer had returned and at the height and most severe intensity of the firestorm, she went home to be with Jesus. Loosing my Mom caused me to give up the legal fight and compromise my integrity in the situation. I began questioning and doubting everything in my life: my calling, my faith and even the value of my life. I had no interest in personal repentance or reconciling with those that had hurt me, instead I was content to say terrible things about them and overlook any responsibility I had for the situation arising in the first place. But the Lord had placed some amazing followers of Christ in my life that were not going to stand by and watch me destroy my life and walk away from the Lord and from my faith. They gently rebuked me and brought me to the point that I began looking for a new church and a way to be restored to the Lord.

Having visited Cornerstone in Simi Valley several times while I was at TMC, I knew that it was a theologically solid church that placed a high value on knowing and doing what the Word of God commanded. When I had explained the situation to one of the Elders there, I expressed fear about whether or not Cornerstone would accept me due to what my former church thought about me, what the accuser said about me and especially the outcome of the legal case. He shared that what Cornerstone cared about was who I was in Christ and what the Lord thought of me. He recommended a Elder-Qualified guy at Cornerstone Disciple me and walk along side me through the process of grieving for my Mom and transitioning from my former church to Cornerstone.

As this guy walked with me, I began to realize that if I wanted to follow Christ that I had to take some radical steps toward reconciliation and peace with those that I had hurt and those that had hurt me. Around this time I began attending the Community Group he was leading and was welcomed with open arms and open hearts. I had the opportunity, after a few months of attending in near silence, to share with the group the grief that I was experiencing over loosing my Mom and the response was amazing. I once again had people in my life that called me to see how I was doing, that prayed for me when the Lord prompted them and shared their own experiences in order to preach the Gospel to me. They loved me where I was at, but loved me enough not to leave me there.

The results were immediate and drastic: I began to feel the Lord stripping away the grief and anger and replacing it with a heart of peace and a desire for reconciliation. About 6 months ago I approached the Elders at my former church and shared with them that I wanted to go a new direction with them and wanted to seek full and complete reconciliation with those that I had hurt and those that had hurt me. Their response was one that was supportive and joyful that the Gospel was healing me and showing me that the Love of Christ was rich and free and full of power to reconcile. I began meeting relentlessly and humbly with those on the sidelines that I had wronged during the process. Again, I was welcomed with open arms and open hearts and experienced the forgiveness of Christ, as well as the forgiveness of my fellow brother’s and sisters. I now had allies and fellow believers that were there to support me as I continued the process of seeking out those whom I had hurt, including the person that was involved in the original conflict. Over the past 4 months I have been a part of some amazing meetings where the Lord was working before and after the meetings for His glory to shine through. They have been difficult and they have been filled with all kinds of emotions, but the Lord has been gracious in allowing those meeting to be productive and to glorify Him. So much so that two weeks ago He has also allowed for the truth to finally come out and prove once and for all that the accusation was indeed false.

And so after 852 days… IT IS FINISHED!!!!

On Monday night I received word that my letter to be removed from membership at my old church had been accepted. Although they consider it to be “under discipline” I am confident that I did everything I could to make things right with those I offended where possible and with those that offended me where possible. The Lord has ended this Firestorm and I am grateful that I can now close this painful chapter in my life, that my family and friends can do the same and and that they can attend my former church without a cloud hanging over their heads. My Family and Friends family stood by me unwaveringly during my darkest hours… The Lord was certainly glorified in their example of faith. I also look forward to how the Lord will lead me to be involved at my new church home, Cornerstone. The Elders there have been amazing and without their willingness to stand up for the Scriptures, for the Truth or to oversee my Spiritual Well-Being while I was on the brink, I wouldn’t be writing this to you all.

On a lighter note, some time ago one of the Elders at my former church gave me a bottle of sparkling cider on my Birthday. He is a God-fearing man and a devoted follower of Christ. I plan on opening that bottle sometime soon with my family and celebrating the Lord bringing us through all of this. We are weary, but we have not grown faint…

I’m also going to be reading Psalm 71 in a new light… You should too brothers and sisters…

P.S. To leave comments from the home page click on the Title of this post.

Tags: blogging, Church, Cornerstone Church Simi Valley, Deborah Ames, deborahames.org, Firestorm, God, I Can Do All Things..., Jesus, The Master's College, Twitter, WordPress

The Disgusting Truth About Comfort

Posted on January 25th, 2010 by Cliff Ames Jr.

A lot of things have happened these past few weeks that rattled my cage. Most of them shouldn’t have.

1. My cage was rattled over the Conan verse Leno Late Night Wars. I love Conan and always have. Ever since I watched Johnny Carson as a kid I always wondered what it would be like to one-day work on a show like that. I love comedy and I when I found out Conan was going to host The Tonight Show I was excited and gave myself something to work for. To one day write or be a part of the Tonight Show was not a far fetched dream but something I could actually see myself doing. Needless to say it was tough to see Conan be abused by NBC brass but it was inspirational to watch how he went out… by having a lot fun on Television.
2. Since mid-October there has been a hole in my ceiling that resulted from a leaking roof. The roof was eventually fixed however after repeated contact with our management company the ceiling was ignored until early last week when the torrential rains finally proved to be to much for the flimsy patches to hold and the ceiling caved in and damaged irreplaceable pictures. I ended up getting into several shouting matches with people that could care less that water had caused damage to my property due to their negligence. To add insult to injury we were served with an eviction notice because we refused to pay the rent until they decided to do something about the poor maintenance.
3. In addition to the poor maintenance form management Southern California Edison has seen fit to turn our power off three different times over the past 2 weeks. They claim each time it’s for maintenance but then today the power went off with no notice and it wasn’t until after we called that we discovered that there was scheduled maintenance but that the problem was the maintenance caused “severe damage to critical systems which have led to an extended outage.” The power has been out since 9AM this morning and won’t be back on until approximately 6AM tomorrow. Right now I’m hiding out at a Starbucks trying to see if I can get stuff done for the move this weekend.
4. Moving is a pain in the a$$. Packing and going through and getting rid of crap that you’ve had for over 25 years can be both liberating and excruciating. There is freedom that comes from divesting yourself of the things that encumber you, but stuff is funny. We think we need it, but we really don’t. And the truth is the more stuff you have the more problems that stuff brings you. At the same time, the memories that are brought back by a third grade project, or a Christmas card from a particularly tough year can be comforting and encouraging. Then of course moving involves location, location, location. Not to mention cost, cost, cost.
5. Some major changes and events have been transpiring at my former church that directly relate to the ongoing reconciliation process. Needless to say, some key players are abandoning ship and it’s put me in a position where I’m left wondering how far to pursue reconciliation with them. At what point should I abandon the idea that there will be a happy ending to this?

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So there you have it… my complaints and hassles this week. But in reality they pale in comparison to the suffering and misery of the people in Haiti. No food, no water, no electricity, no order, no help, no hope. People’s dead loved ones are piled in the street, violence has been slowly creeping in and churches there have been decimated by structural damage, whole congregations dying and spiritual turmoil due to unimaginable trials. Yet I’m ticked off over and entertainment show, a small pathetic hole in my ceiling, temporary lack of electricity, clinging to stuff that I don’t need and problems with a couple of people who have no control over my spiritual well being.

Pretty selfish and stupid. Sure I texted “Haiti” to 90999, I gave to my church and I donated at Starbucks. But oh how comfortable that was. To sit thousands of miles away from the horror of what is taking place there and to send money to a country that is in ruin. It’s the equivalent of putting a band-aid on a severed limb, I’ve done no good. And yet I am SO ungrateful for the amazing gifts and blessings that I have here and for what? Just a little comfort… I am disgusted.

P.S. To leave comments click on the Title at the top of this post.

Tags: 90999, blogging, Charity, Children's Hunger Fund, Church, Conan O'Brien, Conan Verses Leno, Conan Verses NBC, Cornerstone Church Simi Valley, Donations, Firestorm, Francis Chan, Garage, Greatfulness, Haiti, Haiti Earthquake, Jeff Zucker, journey of faith church, Junk, Leno verses Conan, Moving, National Disaster, NBC, NBC Verses Conan, Red Cross, Southern California Edison, Starbucks, Text 90999, Yard Sale

Pray For Peggy Sturgis…

Posted on January 18th, 2010 by Cliff Ames Jr.

One of the gals that is part of my New Church Family is close friends with an amazing lady named Peggy Sturgis. She in the end stages of Ovarian Cancer, has a wonderful husband an 4 amazing children. Of course this really hits close to home for me and I have been praying for her and her family as often as possible.

I know what her family is going through and I know what they have ahead of them. None of it will be easy and none of it will make sense at the time. Right now Peggy is fighting the good fight and is having weekly gatherings at her home in order to worship with her friends and loved ones for as long as she’s able. I know she’s not wasting her life or the opportunity that God has given her to glorify Him until her last breath.

Please be praying for her and her family and if you want, you can visit her website and leave a message of encouragement for her: http://peggysturgis.com

If the Lord allows, I’m hoping to meet her and her family sometime soon and share my Mom’s story with them.

Tags: Ovarian Cancer, Peggy Sturgis

Midwife Crisis

Posted on January 12th, 2010 by Cliff Ames Jr.

On of the most interesting chapters I’ve ever read in the Pentateuch is Exodus Chapter 1. Exodus 1 is very much a transition chapter leading from the resolution of Joseph’s story up to the beginning of Moses’ story. Along the way a new Pharaoh comes along that forgets about how Joesph, a Hebrew, saved his ancestors from the famine. Out of greed and, dare I say, God’s permission, this new Pharaoh enslaves the Hebrews and hatches a plan to control their population. A plan that puts the Hebrew Midwives into a crisis.

“Then the king of Egypt said to the Hebrew midwives, one of whom was named Shiphrah and the other Puah, ‘When you serve as midwife to the Hebrew women and see them on the birthstool, if it is a son, you shall kill him, but if it is a daughter, she shall live.’” Exodus 1:15-16 ESV

A death sentence for all male Hebrew children and the Midwives are commanded to be the executioners of their own people. Imagine for a moment if you had to carry out these orders? Shiphrah and Puah are cornered by evil and it seems as if there is no way out. How much fear would that instill into you?

“But the midwives feared God and did not do as the king of Egypt commanded them, but let the male children live” Exodus 1:17 ESV

I LOVE that verse! Shiphrah and Puah have fear all right… it’s the fear of the Lord. They may have feared a madman mass murderer, they may have feared certain death but they’re fear of the Lord was far greater than anything that a puny human was going to throw at them. They chose life for others at risk of their own life. But that’s not the end of the story…

“So the king of Egypt called the midwives and said to them, ‘Why have you done this, and let the male children live?’ The midwives said to Pharaoh, ‘Because the Hebrew women are not like the Egyptian women, for they are vigorous and give birth before the midwife comes to them.’” Exodus 1:18-19 ESV

What the what!?

Did they just lie to trick the Pharaoh? I thought they feared the Lord? Even thought the Ten Commandments haven’t been written yet lying was certainly not something that God blessed was it? Jacob was a trickster and look at all the trouble it caused him (cf: Genesis 25-36)! Was God pleased with what they had told the Pharaoh?

“So God dealt well with the midwives. And the people multiplied and grew very strong. And because the midwives feared God, he gave them families.” Exodus 1:20-21 ESV

So let’s get this straight… The Pharaoh orders the Midwives to kill all the male Hebrew children as they are born, but because they fear the Lord they don’t do what the Pharaoh tells them to do. Then, when they are held accountable, they aren’t truthful and the Lord blesses them for it.

But I think we need to dig a little deeper…

The key here (as it is so many places in scripture, especially in the Old Testament) is to remember how powerful God is. If He created the universe could He not speed up the birthing process? The Pharaoh’s words indicated that they would “see them on the birthstool.” If the Hebrew woman’s labor is sped up by the Lord and they are off the birth stool and the baby is not in plain sight, haven’t the Midwives done what the Pharaoh has asked? It seems to me that they weren’t necessarily lying to the Pharaoh, the Lord just made it impossible to do the evil the Pharaoh wanted them to do. The Lord Delivered them from evil… Obviously that is a HUGE theme in Exodus, but it’s also a HUGE theme in all of scripture.

A second thing to consider is the consequences of their actions:

“And because the midwives feared God, he gave them families.” Exodus 1:21 ESV

It was their fear of God that yielded the blessing of a family. But it wasn’t just a blessing, it was a second deliverence… They were delivered from being a midwives because they became pregnant themselves and could not serve as midvies anymore. Again, the Lord Delivered them from evil… The Lord provided them an escape from doing what was wrong.

“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV

Now let’s be careful and not misinterpret that verse. Temptation to do evil will come… it is a certainty… but when temptation comes God will provide THE way of escape… It’s to fear Him more than you fear yourself or others. When you are in the midst of a trial it is easy to be tempted to give up on the Lord’s way for a way that seems easier. When you’re at work and the dirty jokes start flying it’s easy to join in. When the latest celeb news and gossip pales in comparison to the gossip your are hearing about someone else it’s easy to keep listening. Maybe it’s fear of rejection, fear of being alone, maybe it’s fear of obscurity or just plain fear of others… whatever that fear is, it should never outweigh the fear, love and trust that you have in the Lord, who WILL deliver you from evil.

So the next time you’re having your own Midwife Crisis, (not if but when) and you are staring evil in the face… do not fear anything but the Lord.

P.S. To leave comments click on the Title at the top of this post.

Tags: 1 Corinthians 10:13, Anne Frank, Crisis, Deliverance, Exodus 1, Hebrew, Midwife, Midwives, Miep Gies, MOses, Pharaoh

What Direction To Go In 2010…

Posted on January 4th, 2010 by Cliff Ames Jr.

Thanks to all of you who have been praying for  my Aunt. We have all been very encouraged by the love and support that you have shown.

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted a personal update but life has been busy and unpredictable. Hard to tell you all what’s going on when I don’t know what’s going on . You’ll also see that I did a little redesign on the look of the site. Everything is still here but I’m going to be expanding and adding stuff this year and I wanted to make some room. I liked the old theme cause it had 3 Columns but I’m also a big fan on cutting down on information overload so this new theme should work just fine.

Since I tend to be able to think better when I make lists here are few things I’d like to share with y’all:

1. I Will Be Moving At The Beginning Of February – For the past 12 months I have had the privilege of living in the Santa Clarita Valley. It’s had it’s ups and downs but it has been a great opportunity for me to be on my own and learn some important life lessons. I’ve had some great roommates and some great visitors but unfortunately our lease is up at the end of January and the rent is definitely going to be out of our price range. At this point neither of us know where we’re going to end up but suffice it to say we won’t end up on the street. There is a good possibility that I may end up back in my home town but my desire is to find a place in Burbank close to my church family.
2. I’m Finally Beginning To Settle On A Career Path - While the details are still blurry the broad strokes is that I’d like to end up in the world of Production or Post-Production. I know those don’t necessarily go hand in hand but at least it’s been narrowed down. Last year I had the privilege of helping out on some amazing short films and couple of Reality TV Shows. I’ve also had the privilege of editing some great projects last year as well and had an amazing time doing both. Despite the fact that the path I thought I was on 3 years ago has radically changed, being a part of the entertainment industry has always been a part of my path. The Lord has dropped so many opportunities in my lap but unfortunately I took them for granted. 2009 was a tough year stability wise with jobs and income being the biggest issues I wrestled with (compare that to 2008 when I lost everything in my life that meant something to me and it doesn’t seem that bad). I hope that this year the side projects and opportunities will be plentiful and will build a strong body of work to have as a resume for good jobs in the future. But I also know that with the way things are in the economy I’m going to have to work harder then I ever have to find the good ones.
3. God Has Slowly And Faithfully Been Healing Me - 2008 was the worst year of my life. I lost my Mom, my church family, my liberty and hope for a future. Trust me, that is no exaggeration. Sometime in the next 6 months all the details of what transpired in 2008 will come out, but for now please know that I see now that God was in control of it all. As a result, I spent most of 2009 coming to grips with my life being turned upside down and trying to cope with hurt, depression and pain that the Lord allowed. So many of you walked with me and my family through those trials and were faithful and point me to the Lord not matter what the circumstance. I apologize if I didn’t seem receptive, but just know that the Lord spoke through you no matter what my initial response to you might have been. For those of you who are strangers I hope that sharing my story will be an encouragement to you when (NOT IF) you walk through trials in your own life. The Lord allowed some unimaginable things, but He also allowed them for unimaginable reasons that are still being revealed to me daily. When I think back to where I was a year ago I marvel and the Lord’s goodness, faithfulness and trustworthiness, which was a key concept for me last year. I’ve had to learn some hard lessons the hard way, but the Lord has been there every step of the way.
4. God Has Given Me An Incredible New Church Family - When I began looking for a new church a little over a year ago I never thought that I’d find the love and support that I have found in Cornerstone Burbank. When I first started attending there I was a bump on the wall. I came, I didn’t talk, I left and had no meaningful relationships with anyone. At first it was very hard to get over the hurts that I experienced at my previous church, but slowly I saw that God was working in and through the folks in Burbank and I began to see first hand that those folks were the real deal. They submitted to Jesus. served others and loved them both. Through an amazing set of circumstances I was prompted by the Holy Spirit to be vulnerable and share with group about all the doubts and pain I had been experiencing since my Mom had passed away. The group overwhelmed me with love, prayer and sweet fellowship based on our common love for Jesus. It was something that had been missing from my life for over a year and the Lord has used to strengthen and encourage my heart. Since that night I have a church family that trusts me and that I trust as well. This year I hope that the Lord will continue to open up doors in the group where I can serve and be served, love and be loved.
5. God Has Been Drawing Me Closer To My Family - When my Mom passed away in June of 2008 I felt as if our family would never be whole again. That we would be forever scared and would never be a “family” again without her. Last October my Dad married an amazing woman named Cindy. In the months before and after the wedding my Sister and I have gotten to know her and I can honestly say that I consider her to be part of our family. She’s not a replacement for my Mom (as that is impossible) but she’s and addition to our family that has helped heal the wounds of loosing someone you love. She has experienced loss in her life and has been very sensitive and respectful of what my Sister and I have have been going through. She understands the ups and downs of grief which is a blessing from the Lord. This has also served to better my relationship with my Dad. We haven’t always seen eye-to-eye on everything (don’t get us started on politics!) but over the past year my Dad and I have been working though our issues in our hearts as well as our issues with each other. We are communicating better and most of all we enjoy spending time together. My Sister and I are also drawing closer together. We have a little joke between us that we’re always emotional opposites. When I’m having a hard time with something, she has peace about it. When my Sister is struggling to understand, I’m there to try and explain it to her. Considering the fact that these are major life issues we’ve been wrestling with I am so grateful that we can count on each other and that God has made us unique enough to support each other during the tough times. I can honestly say I look forward to our family get-togethers on the weekends and holidays.

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Finally, over the next few months I’d like to start posting again on a regular basis. The biggest reason that I have haven’t been sharing here has been the things on my heart and mind involve matters that are private and involve other people. The Lord has seen fit to begin to heal those situations and is opening the door for a miraculous and amazing story about just how awesome God is and how powerful the Gospel is. My hope and prayer is that the things I share here will be an encouragement and blessing to those that read it and that unlike some of my posts last year, they will be uplifting to others and glorify the Lord.

Tags: 2008, 2009, 2010, Burbank, Cornerstone Church Simi Valley, Deborah Ames, Economy, Santa Clarita Valley, Update On My Aunt, WordPress 3 Column

Update On My Aunt #05

Posted on December 26th, 2009 by Cliff Ames Jr.

Dear Friends-

I just want to thank you again for all of your love and support and prayers for my Aunt and my Family as we’ve been battling through these tough days.

My Aunt’s condition continues to improve and is being called a miracle by the hospital staff. A week ago today she was having uncontrolled seizures and today she is talking and communicating with us and wants to come home. To us, she’s back to her old self minus the fact that she won’t be able to talk for some time due to the muscle mass loss. Her Numerologists are scratching their heads wondering how she has been able to bounce back so quickly and so completely compared to several other patients they have been treating for months. We point them to the Great Physician every chance we get. The Doctors and Nurses have seen us praying over her every chance we get and are astounded by the fact that hundreds of people are waiting for updates so that they can pray too.

As my Aunt continues to get better it is very apparent that some things need to drastically change with her home care in order for her to stay well and get on the Kidney Transplant list. My Grandmother has done her best for the past 50+ years caring for her children and she can no longer do that on her own. For being 71 she’s tough and motivated, but her body is weak and needs rest. As a family we are praying through some tough options and we desperately need wisdom and guidance to make the right decisions with the best outcome. We’d appreciate your prayers for this as well.

You can also pray for patience for my Aunt and well as us. My Aunt is still coming down off the heavy sedation she was on and is having mood swings as well as other psychological side-effects from being in a coma for 4 days. Some of these are as simple as memory loss other are as complicated as misinterpreting what she is told and being upset or frustrated because she doesn’t understand. Once we get past this de-tox period it should be a smoother transition but right now it’s a challenge to communicate clearly with my Aunt.

Again, thank you all for your prayers and I will do my best to keep you updated.

Thanks,
Cliff Ames Jr.

Tags: Update On My Aunt

Update On My Aunt #04

Posted on December 21st, 2009 by Cliff Ames Jr.

Dear Friends-

Thank you all so much for your love and support. Your prayers are being answered:

1. I had a VERY safe trip from LA to NV with no traffic problems and very few people on the road. The weather was also beautiful and a reminder of God’s control over everything.

2. As soon as I arrived I was able to hug and cry with my Grandmother who feels overwhelmed by everything that is going on. She has been misplacing keys, phones and other important things that are necessary for her being able to function and take care of my Aunt. I have now been able to step in and get things organized for her and already the results are obvious. We were able to go to church together on Sunday and then go to lunch and talk about how she’s doing. We came up with a game plan and things are going better now that she has the support that she needs.

3. The Lord has been so good to me over the past few days. My roommates and some good friends were able to pray over me right as I got the news that I needed to leave and when I texted and emailed folks I received over a dozen responses filled with Christ’s love and the Scripture. The theme that keeps coming up over and over again is peace and I have been overwhelmed by it. My Grandmother’s Pastor preached on it Sunday and it has been leaping out at me from the verses I have been reading. Philippians of course is where I land a lot but the Psalms and Proverbs also have been rocking my world.

4. Because my Aunt is more stable than she was before my sister can now wait until Wednesday to come out here and not have to worry about flying or driving at the last minute. She can take her time planning the trip and will be supported along the way.

5. Here is the latest on my Aunt’s condition: She is in a medically induced coma in order to break the cycle of seizures that she has been having. She has NOT had a stroke that we know of and the Doctors are confident that the seizures can be controlled with medication. Although they can’t find the exact cause of the seizures they are confident that the cause is not life threatening and her condition is stable enough now for them to begin treating the underlying symptoms. Once they determine that the seizure cycle has been broken they will begin bringing her our of the coma in order to wake her up and see if any brain damage has occurred. They are fairly certain that there will be some damage but they are just as certain that some of it can be reduced with time, treatment and therapy. While all this has been going on my Aunt has been sedated and resting comfortably with no incidents.

6. The Doctors and Nurses from this latest hospital stay have been competent and very helpful in explaining what is going on. They are supportive and have responded to our concerns in a timely manner and truly care about my Aunts condition and progress. Both of the Doctors we saw yesterday explained everything clearly and were VERY honest even about the negative side of things. It’s not just hard to ask those kinds of questions, it’s hard to answer them as well.

On Behalf Of My Family,
Cliff Ames Jr.

Tags: Update On My Aunt

Update On My Aunt #03

Posted on December 19th, 2009 by Cliff Ames Jr.

Dear Friends-

In about 30 minutes I am going to be leaving to drive to Las Vegas, Nevada to be with my Aunt and Grandmother. My Aunt has been have repeated strokes for the past 48 hours and is getting worse by the hour. My Grandmother is very discouraged as she is loosing her other child only a year and half after loosing my Mom. She also beginning to be weakened physically and needs someone to be there for her and be emotionally and physically strong for her. For now that person needs to be me and so I would covet your prayers for many things.

1. Pray for a safe trip
2. Pray that God would strengthen and encourage my Grandmother
3. Pray that God would strengthen and equip me for this time of suffering and trial
4. Pray for my Sister’s safe trip when she is able to go out there sometime in the next 24-36 hours
5. Pray that God would grant rest and peace to my Aunt
6. Pray that I will be patient with the Doctors that are treating her

I’ll do my best to keep you updated via this Blog or viat my Twitter account which updates in the last column to the right.

On Behalf Of My Family,
Cliff Ames Jr.

Tags: Update On My Aunt

Time To Catch Up…

Posted on October 30th, 2009 by Cliff Ames Jr.

Well it has been several months since I’ve had a real blog and a lot has happened since then. Here are some of the things that have been happening:

1. My Aunt Has Been In And Out Of The Hospital.

My Mom (left) My Aunt (right) and My Great Grandma (bottom) in September of 2007

Over the past few years my Aunt’s health has seriously deteriorated culminating in the fact that she has spent more time in the hospital or rehab then she has spent at home. This has been especially hard on my Grandma who has been her sole caretaker during this time. They are both worn out and fatigued from all of these various trials but fortunately they have an amazing church family that has been supporting them and being a great example of what it means “be” the church rather than just “attend” church. Right now she is back in the hospital for many reasons but the bottom line is, if she is not able to recover and loose some additional weight and finally get a kidney transplant then she will not be with us here on earth much longer. My Aunt loves the Lord and is trusting Him, as is my Grandma, but she has been through so much pain and suffering that it would be a huge blessing if she were to be able to get a transplant but at the same time it is hard to see her suffer.

2. I Took A Short Sabbatical From Life

For a two and a half week period I packed up my stuff, took time off from my job and spent lots of time with my family. During this time I had the opportunity to connect and reconnect with close friends and family and was able to spend some time also reconnecting with the Lord. The former led to the latter because the people in my life that know me the best have always point me to the Lord no matter what the circumstances. Shortly before I took this sabbatical I was feeling depressed and overwhelmed by everything that the Lord had allowed to happen over the past two years. Not to mention the current pressures I was facing on all fronts I knew that I needed time to figure out what my life needed to look like in order to survive. In the end, like Dorothy, I had the ability to “go home” the whole time, but I needed to make the expedition down the yellow brick road before I could fully appreciate what being home meant. In other words I realized that my walk with the Lord had been crappy for quite some time and needed some drastic improvement. My friends and family directed me along the way and the Lord reminded me of His grace and forgiveness. I spent time in front of many fire pits just as Peter did in John 21.

3. I Edited A TV Show

One of my good friends is a TV Producer with lots of experience in Reality Programming. For some time now I have been able to help out in one way or another with various projects that he has had going over the years. I’ve assisted editors on many of these projects but never had the opportunity to actually BE the editor. Finally a project came along and I jumped at the opportunity to actually BE the editor this time. It was a lot of work, a lot of hours and a lot of Coffee Bean but it was worth it and I was just able to recently deliver the final elements of our pilot episode. We’ve already gotten word from our distributor that there is a lot of interest and will probably end up doing 5 more episodes. This show has also opened the door for other shows and in two days I am actually flying back east to help shoot a pilot for another show. Here is the link to a promo of the project on our distributor’s website.

4. My Sister And I Sang At My Dad’s Wedding

Not too long ago my Dad met someone on eharmony.com. They started dating and after several months he proposed to her and she accepted. For my Sister and I this was something that was totally different and somewhat unexpected at first. But the more we talked with our Dad and the more we got to know Cindy the more we knew that they loved each other and would do their best to take care of each other. When it came time to start making plans I knew that I wanted to be involved but I had no clue that I would end up be blessed enough to sing with my sister during the candle lighting and to also be the best man at my Dad’s wedding. Cindy has three kids of her own that are all married and two of them have kids. This means that I have gained a whole new step family and have also gained someone that isn’t going to replace my Mom, but is going to add to the love that I already receive from so many people in my life. I am so happy for them both and I love getting to spend time with them and my new family.

5. I Auditioned For And Was Accepted Into The Santa Clarita Master Chorale

Ever since my Mom was ushered into the loving arms of Jesus it has been hard for me to be active musically. Singing or playing an instrument publicly was just something I couldn’t bring myself to do after I sang and played at my Mom’s memorial service. There were many reasons for this but chief among them was that my Mom was so proud and blessed by the abilities that the Lord had given me that using those gifts with her not around just seemed like a waste of time. But over the past few months I have had a chance to heal and to realize that I miss music terribly. And so I began to ask the Lord to show some opportunities to me that would glorify Him and bless others. Along came the Santa Clarita Master Chorale. Because they are close to the community that I am part of I knew it would be easy and convenient to participate with them but I also knew that they were a VERY talented singing group and would be difficult to get into. After waiting several months for the audition period to begin I picked an audition song, practiced for hours and low and behold I got in! I can honestly say this is an amazing and diverse group and I look forward to singing with them for a long time to come.

There have been many other things going on as well but for now those are the things that I wanted to share with all of you. I hope to begin blogging more now that life isn’t so hectic or painful as it was this past year or so. I also hope to share some additional things that the Lord has been doing but now is not the right time. When it is you will be amazed by how awesome He is… I know I am amazed everyday by who He is and how much I love Him.

Tags: Apostle Peter, Bob Dillon, Coffe Bean And Tea Leaf, Eharmony, Firepit, Foothills Baptist Church, Hospital, John 21, Kidney Transplant, Las Vegas, Mantrackers, Marker Entertainment, New Jersey, New York, Reality TV, Sabbatical, Santa Clarita Master Chorale, Special Weapons And Tactics, Street Heat Productions, To Make You Feel My Love, Video Editing

Still Remembering The Lord…

Posted on June 25th, 2009 by Cliff Ames Jr.

I’m going to try and cover two topics in this post. First, a brief summary of what the Lord did last Thursday. Second, a brief summary of what the Lord has allowed since then.

Last Thursday June 18th, 2009 fourteen people experienced the goodness, faithfulness and trustworthiness of God in a real and tangible way. On a day that should have been filled with sorrow, hopelessness and anger, God did what He does best: He redeemed the irredeemable. As we all gathered around and enjoyed a wonderful and filling meal, we had the opportunity to catch up on what has happened in each others lives this past year. God has done much and over the past year we have all become more fully devoted followers of Christ. This process of course has not been without trial, suffering or discomfort. In fact the majority of it took place as we attempted to fill the gaping whole in our life that my Mom left. Fortunately, it has been the Lord that has filled that gap and provided for our needs in ways we never could have imagined.

After the meal we all gathered in the living room and talked about the many memories we had of the Lord working in my Mom’s life. The more that was shared the more we all saw just how much the Lord used my Mom and even her illness, to teach us all to love Him more. We also talked about the various ways we had all been changed by the Lord’s work in my Mom’s life and the lessons that we learned from her faith in Christ. What stood out most to me was the various words that were used to describe who my Mom was: Forgiving, patient, generous, loyal, selfless, unconditional love, faithful… Going through that list it is easy to see that those are all attributes that my Mom learned from one place… the Lord Jesus Christ. The attributes that we will always remember about her belong also to that of her Savior. She was salt, light, a city on a hill and despite her illness, she reflected the Glory of God with everything that she had in her.

When it was all over, and we had stuffed ourselves with some amazing home-made desserts, I had to take a moment and step back and think about what had just happened. Instead of weeping with no hope, there were tears filled with the promise of a not to distant reunion. Instead of anger at God’s timing there was praise for 52 years that God allowed her to stay. Instead of crawling into a dark room, pulling the covers over our head and pretending that day didn’t exist, we embraced the trustworthiness, faithfulness and goodness of God in the life of His servant, my Mom. It was good to remember 2Timothy 4:7 “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith” (ESV). I went to bed that night grateful for the amazing things that God had done that day, in light of what had happened a year ago that day: He had redeemed the irredeemable.

Now it is almost a week later and once again my family is faced with another challenge to remember and know that God is trustworthy, faithful and good. A few days ago my Mom’s sister (my Aunt Becky) was rushed to the hospital with severe pain in her stomach. While the doctors couldn’t immediately find the problem, we prayed and asked God to help them find the problem and come up with a solution to relieve her pain. You see shortly after my Mom’s death, my Aunt had a seizure and was hospitalized for over six months. In that time the doctors and nurses made many mistakes that almost cost my Aunt her life, and when all was said and done, they billed her and my Grandmother outrages sums of money for their mistakes. Over the past six months since my Aunt has been home from the hospital she has endured excruciating physical therapy, insurmountable financial challenges and sub-par medical care from people that should go to jail.

All of this, while she has patiently and quietly grieved for my Mom…

So today when we all found out that she was to have emergency surgery that would set her back to where she was six months ago it was hard to remember the Lord’s goodness. When the doctor came out and told us that my Aunt’s surgery had saved her life for now, rather than healed her permanently, it was hard to remember the Lord’s faithfulness. When I saw her there in the hospital bed with wires and tubes coming from everywhere, machines breathing for her, and barely conscious, it was hard to remember the Lord’s trustworthiness. But then something happened; I remember the Lord’s work in my Mom’s life. I remembered that she got her strength not from Muhammad, or Buddha or the Pope or some cosmic force. I remembered that she didn’t get her strength from reading a book, or rubbing some beads or taking some drug. I remembered “I can do all things through Him (Christ Jesus) who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13 ESV).

As I remembered that I prayed out loud:

“Father God thank You for this day and thank You for Your blessings. Lord help us to remember that You are good, that You are faithful and that You are trustworthy. God You have given us so much strength over the past few years, Lord we’re asking for just a little bit more. And God I believe that You are a never-ending supply of strength so give us what we need to get through this and Lord don’t let us forget where it comes from… Your Son Jesus Christ. In His good name we pray… Amen.”

Now I am at my Grandmother’s house, after having a large and boisterous meal with her and my Grandfather. Looking at us in that booth tonight you would have never known that we had just come from the Hospital or that my Grandmother and Grandfather had been divorced for longer than three decades. We stayed up until just a few hours ago talking and supporting each other. I feel blessed that they are both in my life and I am so grateful to “The Big General,” as my Grandpa calls Him, for all the time God has given me to spend with them, despite the circumstances under which we have met these past few years. It’s another reminder of God’s goodness, faithfulness and trustworthiness during this time of trial.

Your prayers for my Aunt are appreciated and I will do my best to update everyone via my Twitter page which links to my Facebook and to the box in the upper right column of this blog.

Tags: Aunt, deborahames.org, Grandma, Grandpa, Las Vegas Nevada

A Year Of Grief, Faithfulness, Trustworthiness And Goodness

Posted on June 18th, 2009 by Cliff Ames Jr.

Today at 6:15pm my family and I will be observing a moment of silent prayer. It will mark the day and time one year ago that my Mom was ushered in the loving arms of Jesus. At times it feels like that day was a long time ago. But for the most part the feelings, thoughts and overwhelming grief of that day have lingered just beneath the surface as I have wandered through the past 365 days.

I have listened to countless sermons, read a few books, received cards, wept through emails and have had some wonderful people speak God’s truth into my life. All of it has helped on one way or another, but the words the thoughts and prayers will simply never be enough. I dare say that no earthly thing will ever be enough to heal my heart and make it whole.

If there is one small lesson, one short thought, one simple message that I have received loud and clear from God it’s this: “Life on this earth is temporary… and that’s the way it should be.” There is no reason for us to long to stay here on this fragile, fallen and failing earth longer than God’s plan for us.

I am reminded of Paul’s words to the Corinthians,

“For we know that if the tent, which is our earthly home, is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life.” 2 Corinthians 5:1-4 ESV

Try applying that passage to one whom you love and has been diagnosed with a senseless disease that will slowly take her life. Try applying that passage to the hours you spend on the phone with nurses and doctors at 2am only to hear them tell you there’s nothing more you can do. Try applying that as you attempt to say your final goodbyes, only to be interrupted by your loved one crying out in pain and having to be sedated with Morphine. Try applying that as you count the seconds in-between the labored breaths and come to grips with the debilitating reality that the gap is increasing with brutal regularity. Try applying that as you hold their hand for the last time and watch the life slowly slip from their eyes and the strength slip from their grasp and they take their last breath.

My friends, I can say with all honesty that I failed… I failed to remember the faithfulness, trustworthiness and goodness of God.

I failed to remember the faithful God that created the universe, clothed the naked refugees, parted the Red Sea and sustained an entire people group despite their disobedience and rebellion. I failed to remember the trustworthy God that Abraham trusted despite being asked to sacrifice his one and only son Isaac, that Zechariah trusted despite God’s silence for 400 years and that Stephen trusted his life too in the midst of a hostile crowd. I failed to remember the good God that changes people’s hearts, empowers forgiveness and provides for all our needs in His perfect timing.

I forgot God, even though God had not forgotten me…

Now, after the toughest year of my life, I feel as if I am starting to remember the Lord. The word Remember is used over 130 times in the Old Testament and the majority of the time God is commanding us to remember what HE has succeeded in doing, not what WE have failed to do. Over this past year I have been challenged to regain an eternal perspective and abandon my selfish and unrealistic notion that I have any reason to be faithful to, to trust or to find true joy in anything on this earth that is temporal. Instead, I am to place my hope, faith, trust and expectation of good on the God who has given His Son Jesus Christ as a ransom for my life.

I have a feeling that this is not something that happens in a year, nor should it take place in a short amount of time. In fact, I can, should and want to spend the rest of my life enjoying God and proclaiming His faithfulness, trustworthiness and goodness to others. The best part is that as of the time that I write this, my hope and faith and trust is better placed today than it was a year ago, which shows God’s faithfulness to sustain me, His trustworthiness to lead me where I can’t see and His goodness to provide me with everything I need to get through this day with my mind stayed on the Gospel.

Pray for not only for my family and me today, but pray for yourself. Pray that you will not forget God in your time of need and that you will remember his faithfulness, trustworthiness and goodness, especially in those moments when all of them seem to be so far away.

Tags: Deborah Ames, deborahames.org, God's Faithfulness, God's Goodness, God's Trustworthiness, June 18th 2008, June 18th 2009

I Surrender… Some…

Posted on October 13th, 2008 by Cliff Ames Jr.

I think I can honestly say we should sing the following song…

“Some to Jesus I surrender
Some to Him I sort of give
I will sometimes love and trust Him
In His presence sometimes live

I surrender some
I surrender some
Some to You my blessed Savior
I surrender some”

Surrendering all to Jesus just hasn’t been difficult for me all of my life. With all the major changes He threw my way over the past year, it’s been even harder to let go and surrender everything to Him.

I trust myself, I rely on myself, I can take of myself, I know myself and I love myself. But I have trouble trusting God, relying on God, allowing God to take care of me, knowing God and loving God. The problem is, I will always fail and He will never fail. In recent conversations, I’ve come to realize that I am the one that has failed time and time again in many areas, but that God has never once failed me. Just because He allowed blessings for a time and then took them away, doesn’t mean He has failed.

I have a feeling that very few people could meaningfully sing the actual words to that song…

“All to Jesus I surrender
All to Him I freely give
I will ever love and trust Him
In His presence daily live

I surrender all
I surrender all
All to You my blessed Savior
I surrender all”

It’s hard to surrender. It’s hard to raise you hands to God in surrender when the whole world has been turned upside down and you feel like the only thing you’ve got going for you is gravity. Well guess what? Gravity… that’s God’s faithfulness. You think that breath you just took was something you did? Nope… Turns out that’s God’s faithfulness too. Have you tried to create a Solar System latley? Some of you can’t even creat an Excel Spreadsheet let alone a planet. So when the tough times come (not if but when) and you think you can go it alone and you don’t need to surrender to God, be prepared for a thumping. I can honestly say from my own experiences that surrender is the only option.

Too bad we don’t do it more often…

Tags: Firestorm, I Surrender All, I Surrender Some, Surrender Dorothy

Big Announcement #3

Posted on September 20th, 2008 by Cliff Ames Jr.

Big Announcement #3: I Am Looking For A New Home Church

After 16 years at the same church, God has made it abundantly clear that it is time for me to move on to a new church. I have spent over half my life at that church and didn’t quite imagine things ending the way they did. I think the shock and denial has worn off and I’ve moved on to some of the other stages of grieving for this departure, but suffice it to say, I am relieved to finally be leaving and I know they are relieved that I am leaving as well.

That being said, I am departing with a “good standing” as far as membership goes, and I want to state for the record, and for those that may read my blog and still decide to go there: I am making this decision because it is what is best for me. For too long I did what I thought was best for the church but in the long run I think that was wrong. I truly believe that for many reasons this church got in the way of my relationship with God and instead of putting Him first, I put their reputation and even my own reputation above standing up and doing what was pleasing an honoring to God. Let it also be said that there were mistakes made on both sides. I can only be responsible for my mistakes, and taking responsibility for them, and I believe I have done so. There is no need for me to drag their name through the mud or warn those that still attend of the dangers of the church. And there is certainly no need for me to ever have any doubts that there are people at that church that love the Lord.

That being said, I know that I have made some eternal friendships and most recently some earthly enemies. I will continue to do my best to maintain those friendships and will do my part to be at peace with all men if possible. While it would be nice if those that are my enemies would repent of their sin and choose to be at peace with me, I am fairly certain that the devil’s foothold is strong in their lives and only God can change that if He wants too. Those who have stood by my side despite the risk to do so and pressure not to do so, have a special place in my heart and will certainly reap the eternal benefits of doing the right thing in the face of opposition. Those that aligned themselves with my enemies and chose to believe the lies from The Accuser, will have to answer to God, who has all of eternity to make things right.

Over the coming weeks I’ll be looking for a new church home, a process which I am fairly new to and have much anxiety and trepidation about and here is where I could use your help. I have a few questions and hope that you can take some time to answer them:

1. What kinds of things do you look for in the first visit to make sure the church is legit?
2. I’d say for me the most important thing would need to be a sermon that is doctrinally sound and presented in a meaningful and understandable way. What should be my priority after that?
3. Does the size of the church matter? I am well aware of the cons of a mega-church but I’d like to attend something that is bigger then a Bible Study and has resources to help inwardly and outwardly. What are your thoughts on size?
4. What should be some doctrinal deal breakers? Obviously if a church worships someone other than Jesus that’s a deal breaker… but what are the basics the church should take a stand for?
5. Are there any churches in the Southern California Area that you’d recommend? What about some churches or denominations to stay away from?

In closing, I’d like to ask you all to pray about some things:

1. Pray that God shows me the right church
2. Pray that I listen when God shows me the right church
3. Pray that I will have the courage attend the right church and not be afraid of being hurt again
4. Pray that those who stood beside me will continue to do so by the grace of God
5. Pray that I will be protected from those that stand against me both physically and emotionally

This is the last of the Big Announcements… thanks for hanging in there!

Tags: Church, Firestorm, Prayer Requests

Thoughts On Grief For 9/11

Posted on September 11th, 2008 by Cliff Ames Jr.

For the past 7 years September 11th has been a day that has caused many to pause and ponder the fragility of human life. As a nation we have never experienced grief of this magnitude since Pearl Harbor so many decades ago, still fresh in the minds of another generation. One day in the future, people of this generation will tell the next generation why this day was so pivotal in our lives. And, just as our generation did, they won’t understand it until the defining and pivotal moment comes in their lifetime.

What is so fascinating about a day like September 11th is the scale, the comprehensiveness and the universality of the grief it brought about.

First, almost 3,000 people died as a result of the direct attacks that day and over 3,000 more have given their lives in the ensuing war. That makes the total cost in human lives (from America alone) at over 6,000. Imagine for a moment if only two people knew each of the 6,000 people that have died and you have at least 18,000 that have died or were directly affected by those events. But the list doesn’t stop there. Each of those two people have a few friends and pretty soon the number of those who are only 1 person away from the tragedy has grown quite a bit. Add to that the number of people who saw the attacks, and have watched the coffins arrive live on TV and now you have millions of people that witnessed a traumatic life changing event. The scale of grief is overwhelming to think about.

Second, the grief takes on many shapes and fashions. There is the immediate grief caused by the death of a loved one. There is the empathetic grief that others feel toward those that are left behind. There is the fearful grief at the loss of our safety and security. There is the angry grief at the failure of leadership to prevent the attacks and their decision to implicate an innocent nation instead of getting the real bad guys. There is the survivors grief of those who escaped buildings, called in sick, missed flights or had a feeling to take a different route than normal. There is the spiritual grief for those that can’t piece together how a loving and caring God could allow such terrible things to happen to those He says He loves and to their families. There is the guilty grief that wishes they had said “I love you,” or had hugged someone or forgiven someone but never got the chance. There is the intellectual grief that causes people to crunch numbers and count statistics on how it was almost impossible for all the tumblers to fall into place and allow the devil himself to be unleashed. The comprehensiveness of the grief is also overwhelming to think about.

Third, all humans will face grief in its various and insidious forms. It may come in the form of cancer, or a hurricane, or a tornado or a weak levy, but most often it comes from you and me. That’s right everyone, look around, look in a mirror and you will find the main source of grief in all it’s gory glory. Mankind. If we’re not doing something to hurt ourselves, we’re probably doing something to hurt someone else. No one in this life can escape it from the moment they are conscious of themselves to the moment they take their last breath. All have tasted the grip of grief. All are shaped by it, most don’t understand it, some embrace it and few deny it. We all know what it’s like to loose someone, even if it is not death that separates us. Perhaps it’s time, perhaps it’s hurt perhaps it’s distance. Whatever it may be, we have all lost people we cared about. We also have felt the sting of defeat in the midst of a battle. Perhaps it’s a battle with a disease, perhaps it’s a battle with sin, perhaps it’s a battle with God. There is no way to overlook the battles we’ve all lost in one way or another. The universality of grief will always be overwhelming to think about.

So where does that leave us 7 years later?

7 years later we still grieve, 6,000 people are still dead and everyone has been changed by this one event for the rest of their lives here on earth. I can only think of one other event in history that has affected mankind in such a way. It is the eucatasrophe of the cross. Out of the grief, pain, loss and fear that came in the final moments of the cross, there came an event that turned a catasrophic event into a glorious moment of hope and strength for those that needed it the most. The Resurrection. From the rubble of a mountain shaped like a skull came the new, pure and glorified body of the One who had made it all to begin with. Such is the work that only someone like the God of the Bible can do. Only God can take the shattered and torn in heart, the broken and weary in faith, the lonely and grieving in spirit and bring about a sudden and complete reversal that undoes the power of grief and transforms it into joy. And only God can heal those who grieve.

Tags: 9/11, Barack Obama, Cross, God, Grief, Jesus, John Mcain, New York, Pennsylvania, Pentagon, Shankesville, Tragedy, Washington D.C., World Trade Center

Back To The Basics

Posted on September 8th, 2008 by Cliff Ames Jr.

I heard a story once that when Vince Lombardi first took over the Green Bay Packers he faced some real challenges. Legend has it that one day, out of frustration for their poor performance, he stopped practice and had all the players gather around him and a football. He is rumored to have told his his players, “This is a football. These are the yard markers. You are the players. I am the coach.” He then went on to explain each detail of the game of football as if they had never heard it before, not out of disrespect, but beause the players had forgotten the basics of the game and the ultimate goal.

Everyone in a while I think God stops practice, gathers us around and says, “This is a Bible. This is my Son. I am God. You are not.” God has a way of reminding us about the basics of what it means to be a follower of Christ. Usually that moment comes in the midst of a trial or failure when we need it the most. Sometimes it happens when everything seems to be going okay, and we feel like we’re at the top of our game. It’s easy to be deceived into thinking that things are going well, but it’s a big wake up call when The Coach has you on the bench because you’ve forgotten the basics. Maybe you even felt like you made a big play but He puts you on the bench anyways. Don’t forget, the basics: He’s God… you’re not. It’s all about playing the game for Him, not for yourself or your glory. And when you get back on the field, don’t go right back out there and forget the basics again, or it’ll be another lap in the wilderness for you.

Eventually we’ll learn the basics and we’ll never forget them. By that time we’ll have played many games. Lost some and won some. But no matter what the record may seem to be to you, The Coach still has a perfect season everytime. And at the end of the season you get a crown and a trophy to enjoy with The Coach for your retirement. You’ll be so banged up and bruised from the game you’ll look foward to the rest and the satisfaction of knowing that The Coach said, “Well done good and faithful player.”

So take some time this week to get back to the basics…

It’s about time I did.

Tags: Firestorm, Green Bay Packers, Vince Lombardi