The Call Of Suffering

Posted on March 16th, 2010 by Cliff Ames Jr.

Dear Family/Friends/Blog Readers-

When I read the Bible I am struck over and over again by the stories of people who were called by God to suffer.

Think about it…

From Cover to Cover there are countless stories of God’s people suffering and then God using those times in ways they could never imagine. There is even a whole section of Hebrews that is devoted to those who were called to suffer and lived by faith. Their stories serve as a reminder to us that while we are here on earth, we will be called to suffer. The greatest example of all is of course Jesus, who suffered so much that he sweat drops of blood before anyone had ever laid a hand on Him. If you’ve ever wondered if God can use suffering for His glory and for the redemption of mankind, you need look no further than example of suffering in Jesus Christ.

Over the past few years we have all been through a lot. We’ve lost loved ones, we’ve lost battles with evil, we’ve seen a groaning earth rumble and shake cities to the ground and we’ve probably all experienced some difficult financial times as well. For while, when I was in the heat of battle, I became very blind to the suffering of others. I was so consumed and wrapped up in what was going on with me, that I forgot about my fellow man. Yes, the firestorm and trials were very real and the pain was legitimate, but I turned a blind eye to those enduring unspeakable pain and suffering… God did not intend for us to suffer that way.

Over the next few weeks I’m going to be contacting some of you and sharing some things that God has put on my heart. God has burdened me with a message that has changed my life. It’s the message of what the Gospel looks like when those of us who have been called to follow Christ are called to suffer. I’m also going to be contacting some of you and asking you to share your story about times when the Lord has called you to suffer. Some of you have been through some very difficult trials in your life and when I look at your life now, I can see how the Lord has shaped you a molded you because of that call to suffer.

If the Lord wills, the end result will be a resource, or set of resources, that will offer an alternative to our current view of what it means to suffer for the Lord. For now this project is entitled “The Call Of Suffering. The goal of these resources is to reshape and renew our minds when it comes to the topic of suffering in the life of a true follower of Christ. The reason for these resources is that during our times of suffering, it can be hard to understand our relationship with God. We fail to realize that a call to follow Christ, is a call of suffering in Christ. Today, most followers of Christ view suffering as unwanted, undeserved and unfair. However a careful and diligent study of God’s Word produces the constant theme of God calling His followers and even His only Son to suffer. In these resources, we’ll take a look at various instances in the Bible where God has called His people to suffer. We’ll also hear from and explore some present day examples of followers that God has called to suffer. Finally, we will fix our gaze on Jesus, who was called to suffer for the glory of His Father.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.” Hebrews 12:1-3 (ESV)

Over the next few weeks I look forward to meetings and phone conversations with you as we learn about The Call Of Suffering.

Tags: Bible, Firestorm, God, Hebrews 12, Hebrews 12:1-3, Jesus, Suffering, The Call Of Suffering

The End Of The Firestorm

Posted on February 24th, 2010 by Cliff Ames Jr.

If you’ve been following my blog or my Twitter account over the past few years then from time to time I’ve made a mention or two about a firestorm or firestorms that I had been dealing with for quite some time. In fact, it began in late October of 2007 when a major conflict occurred between me and someone else that attended the church I called home for over 16 years. This conflict between us dragged in countless innocent people and as a result the Elders got involved early in the process. Unfortunately, some bad decisions were made early on that led to catastrophic and life changing consequences in my life. Instead of the situation being handled Biblicaly, a false accusation was made and legal action was taken against me.

While I was dealing with this situation my Mom’s cancer had returned and at the height and most severe intensity of the firestorm, she went home to be with Jesus. Loosing my Mom caused me to give up the legal fight and compromise my integrity in the situation. I began questioning and doubting everything in my life: my calling, my faith and even the value of my life. I had no interest in personal repentance or reconciling with those that had hurt me, instead I was content to say terrible things about them and overlook any responsibility I had for the situation arising in the first place. But the Lord had placed some amazing followers of Christ in my life that were not going to stand by and watch me destroy my life and walk away from the Lord and from my faith. They gently rebuked me and brought me to the point that I began looking for a new church and a way to be restored to the Lord.

Having visited Cornerstone in Simi Valley several times while I was at TMC, I knew that it was a theologically solid church that placed a high value on knowing and doing what the Word of God commanded. When I had explained the situation to one of the Elders there, I expressed fear about whether or not Cornerstone would accept me due to what my former church thought about me, what the accuser said about me and especially the outcome of the legal case. He shared that what Cornerstone cared about was who I was in Christ and what the Lord thought of me. He recommended a Elder-Qualified guy at Cornerstone Disciple me and walk along side me through the process of grieving for my Mom and transitioning from my former church to Cornerstone.

As this guy walked with me, I began to realize that if I wanted to follow Christ that I had to take some radical steps toward reconciliation and peace with those that I had hurt and those that had hurt me. Around this time I began attending the Community Group he was leading and was welcomed with open arms and open hearts. I had the opportunity, after a few months of attending in near silence, to share with the group the grief that I was experiencing over loosing my Mom and the response was amazing. I once again had people in my life that called me to see how I was doing, that prayed for me when the Lord prompted them and shared their own experiences in order to preach the Gospel to me. They loved me where I was at, but loved me enough not to leave me there.

The results were immediate and drastic: I began to feel the Lord stripping away the grief and anger and replacing it with a heart of peace and a desire for reconciliation. About 6 months ago I approached the Elders at my former church and shared with them that I wanted to go a new direction with them and wanted to seek full and complete reconciliation with those that I had hurt and those that had hurt me. Their response was one that was supportive and joyful that the Gospel was healing me and showing me that the Love of Christ was rich and free and full of power to reconcile. I began meeting relentlessly and humbly with those on the sidelines that I had wronged during the process. Again, I was welcomed with open arms and open hearts and experienced the forgiveness of Christ, as well as the forgiveness of my fellow brother’s and sisters. I now had allies and fellow believers that were there to support me as I continued the process of seeking out those whom I had hurt, including the person that was involved in the original conflict. Over the past 4 months I have been a part of some amazing meetings where the Lord was working before and after the meetings for His glory to shine through. They have been difficult and they have been filled with all kinds of emotions, but the Lord has been gracious in allowing those meeting to be productive and to glorify Him. So much so that two weeks ago He has also allowed for the truth to finally come out and prove once and for all that the accusation was indeed false.

And so after 852 days… IT IS FINISHED!!!!

On Monday night I received word that my letter to be removed from membership at my old church had been accepted. Although they consider it to be “under discipline” I am confident that I did everything I could to make things right with those I offended where possible and with those that offended me where possible. The Lord has ended this Firestorm and I am grateful that I can now close this painful chapter in my life, that my family and friends can do the same and and that they can attend my former church without a cloud hanging over their heads. My Family and Friends family stood by me unwaveringly during my darkest hours… The Lord was certainly glorified in their example of faith. I also look forward to how the Lord will lead me to be involved at my new church home, Cornerstone. The Elders there have been amazing and without their willingness to stand up for the Scriptures, for the Truth or to oversee my Spiritual Well-Being while I was on the brink, I wouldn’t be writing this to you all.

On a lighter note, some time ago one of the Elders at my former church gave me a bottle of sparkling cider on my Birthday. He is a God-fearing man and a devoted follower of Christ. I plan on opening that bottle sometime soon with my family and celebrating the Lord bringing us through all of this. We are weary, but we have not grown faint…

I’m also going to be reading Psalm 71 in a new light… You should too brothers and sisters…

P.S. To leave comments from the home page click on the Title of this post.

Tags: blogging, Church, Cornerstone Church Simi Valley, Deborah Ames, deborahames.org, Firestorm, God, I Can Do All Things..., Jesus, The Master's College, Twitter, WordPress

Memorial Service Video

Posted on February 18th, 2010 by Cliff Ames Jr.

I am happy to announce that the video from my Mom’s Memorial is finally available at the following link: http://deborahames.org/video

I’d love for you to download these clips and make them available to people that are currently fighting cancer as well as cancer survivors and to families that have lost loved ones. I hope that my Mom’s story will inspire us not because of her strength, but from the strength she found in her Savior Jesus Christ.

Tags: Deborah Ames, deborahames.org, I Can Do All Things..., Memorial Service, Ovarian Cancer, Video

The Disgusting Truth About Comfort

Posted on January 25th, 2010 by Cliff Ames Jr.

A lot of things have happened these past few weeks that rattled my cage. Most of them shouldn’t have.

1. My cage was rattled over the Conan verse Leno Late Night Wars. I love Conan and always have. Ever since I watched Johnny Carson as a kid I always wondered what it would be like to one-day work on a show like that. I love comedy and I when I found out Conan was going to host The Tonight Show I was excited and gave myself something to work for. To one day write or be a part of the Tonight Show was not a far fetched dream but something I could actually see myself doing. Needless to say it was tough to see Conan be abused by NBC brass but it was inspirational to watch how he went out… by having a lot fun on Television.
2. Since mid-October there has been a hole in my ceiling that resulted from a leaking roof. The roof was eventually fixed however after repeated contact with our management company the ceiling was ignored until early last week when the torrential rains finally proved to be to much for the flimsy patches to hold and the ceiling caved in and damaged irreplaceable pictures. I ended up getting into several shouting matches with people that could care less that water had caused damage to my property due to their negligence. To add insult to injury we were served with an eviction notice because we refused to pay the rent until they decided to do something about the poor maintenance.
3. In addition to the poor maintenance form management Southern California Edison has seen fit to turn our power off three different times over the past 2 weeks. They claim each time it’s for maintenance but then today the power went off with no notice and it wasn’t until after we called that we discovered that there was scheduled maintenance but that the problem was the maintenance caused “severe damage to critical systems which have led to an extended outage.” The power has been out since 9AM this morning and won’t be back on until approximately 6AM tomorrow. Right now I’m hiding out at a Starbucks trying to see if I can get stuff done for the move this weekend.
4. Moving is a pain in the a$$. Packing and going through and getting rid of crap that you’ve had for over 25 years can be both liberating and excruciating. There is freedom that comes from divesting yourself of the things that encumber you, but stuff is funny. We think we need it, but we really don’t. And the truth is the more stuff you have the more problems that stuff brings you. At the same time, the memories that are brought back by a third grade project, or a Christmas card from a particularly tough year can be comforting and encouraging. Then of course moving involves location, location, location. Not to mention cost, cost, cost.
5. Some major changes and events have been transpiring at my former church that directly relate to the ongoing reconciliation process. Needless to say, some key players are abandoning ship and it’s put me in a position where I’m left wondering how far to pursue reconciliation with them. At what point should I abandon the idea that there will be a happy ending to this?

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So there you have it… my complaints and hassles this week. But in reality they pale in comparison to the suffering and misery of the people in Haiti. No food, no water, no electricity, no order, no help, no hope. People’s dead loved ones are piled in the street, violence has been slowly creeping in and churches there have been decimated by structural damage, whole congregations dying and spiritual turmoil due to unimaginable trials. Yet I’m ticked off over and entertainment show, a small pathetic hole in my ceiling, temporary lack of electricity, clinging to stuff that I don’t need and problems with a couple of people who have no control over my spiritual well being.

Pretty selfish and stupid. Sure I texted “Haiti” to 90999, I gave to my church and I donated at Starbucks. But oh how comfortable that was. To sit thousands of miles away from the horror of what is taking place there and to send money to a country that is in ruin. It’s the equivalent of putting a band-aid on a severed limb, I’ve done no good. And yet I am SO ungrateful for the amazing gifts and blessings that I have here and for what? Just a little comfort… I am disgusted.

P.S. To leave comments click on the Title at the top of this post.

Tags: 90999, blogging, Charity, Children's Hunger Fund, Church, Conan O'Brien, Conan Verses Leno, Conan Verses NBC, Cornerstone Church Simi Valley, Donations, Firestorm, Francis Chan, Garage, Greatfulness, Haiti, Haiti Earthquake, Jeff Zucker, journey of faith church, Junk, Leno verses Conan, Moving, National Disaster, NBC, NBC Verses Conan, Red Cross, Southern California Edison, Starbucks, Text 90999, Yard Sale

What Direction To Go In 2010…

Posted on January 4th, 2010 by Cliff Ames Jr.

Thanks to all of you who have been praying for  my Aunt. We have all been very encouraged by the love and support that you have shown.

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted a personal update but life has been busy and unpredictable. Hard to tell you all what’s going on when I don’t know what’s going on . You’ll also see that I did a little redesign on the look of the site. Everything is still here but I’m going to be expanding and adding stuff this year and I wanted to make some room. I liked the old theme cause it had 3 Columns but I’m also a big fan on cutting down on information overload so this new theme should work just fine.

Since I tend to be able to think better when I make lists here are few things I’d like to share with y’all:

1. I Will Be Moving At The Beginning Of February – For the past 12 months I have had the privilege of living in the Santa Clarita Valley. It’s had it’s ups and downs but it has been a great opportunity for me to be on my own and learn some important life lessons. I’ve had some great roommates and some great visitors but unfortunately our lease is up at the end of January and the rent is definitely going to be out of our price range. At this point neither of us know where we’re going to end up but suffice it to say we won’t end up on the street. There is a good possibility that I may end up back in my home town but my desire is to find a place in Burbank close to my church family.
2. I’m Finally Beginning To Settle On A Career Path - While the details are still blurry the broad strokes is that I’d like to end up in the world of Production or Post-Production. I know those don’t necessarily go hand in hand but at least it’s been narrowed down. Last year I had the privilege of helping out on some amazing short films and couple of Reality TV Shows. I’ve also had the privilege of editing some great projects last year as well and had an amazing time doing both. Despite the fact that the path I thought I was on 3 years ago has radically changed, being a part of the entertainment industry has always been a part of my path. The Lord has dropped so many opportunities in my lap but unfortunately I took them for granted. 2009 was a tough year stability wise with jobs and income being the biggest issues I wrestled with (compare that to 2008 when I lost everything in my life that meant something to me and it doesn’t seem that bad). I hope that this year the side projects and opportunities will be plentiful and will build a strong body of work to have as a resume for good jobs in the future. But I also know that with the way things are in the economy I’m going to have to work harder then I ever have to find the good ones.
3. God Has Slowly And Faithfully Been Healing Me - 2008 was the worst year of my life. I lost my Mom, my church family, my liberty and hope for a future. Trust me, that is no exaggeration. Sometime in the next 6 months all the details of what transpired in 2008 will come out, but for now please know that I see now that God was in control of it all. As a result, I spent most of 2009 coming to grips with my life being turned upside down and trying to cope with hurt, depression and pain that the Lord allowed. So many of you walked with me and my family through those trials and were faithful and point me to the Lord not matter what the circumstance. I apologize if I didn’t seem receptive, but just know that the Lord spoke through you no matter what my initial response to you might have been. For those of you who are strangers I hope that sharing my story will be an encouragement to you when (NOT IF) you walk through trials in your own life. The Lord allowed some unimaginable things, but He also allowed them for unimaginable reasons that are still being revealed to me daily. When I think back to where I was a year ago I marvel and the Lord’s goodness, faithfulness and trustworthiness, which was a key concept for me last year. I’ve had to learn some hard lessons the hard way, but the Lord has been there every step of the way.
4. God Has Given Me An Incredible New Church Family - When I began looking for a new church a little over a year ago I never thought that I’d find the love and support that I have found in Cornerstone Burbank. When I first started attending there I was a bump on the wall. I came, I didn’t talk, I left and had no meaningful relationships with anyone. At first it was very hard to get over the hurts that I experienced at my previous church, but slowly I saw that God was working in and through the folks in Burbank and I began to see first hand that those folks were the real deal. They submitted to Jesus. served others and loved them both. Through an amazing set of circumstances I was prompted by the Holy Spirit to be vulnerable and share with group about all the doubts and pain I had been experiencing since my Mom had passed away. The group overwhelmed me with love, prayer and sweet fellowship based on our common love for Jesus. It was something that had been missing from my life for over a year and the Lord has used to strengthen and encourage my heart. Since that night I have a church family that trusts me and that I trust as well. This year I hope that the Lord will continue to open up doors in the group where I can serve and be served, love and be loved.
5. God Has Been Drawing Me Closer To My Family - When my Mom passed away in June of 2008 I felt as if our family would never be whole again. That we would be forever scared and would never be a “family” again without her. Last October my Dad married an amazing woman named Cindy. In the months before and after the wedding my Sister and I have gotten to know her and I can honestly say that I consider her to be part of our family. She’s not a replacement for my Mom (as that is impossible) but she’s and addition to our family that has helped heal the wounds of loosing someone you love. She has experienced loss in her life and has been very sensitive and respectful of what my Sister and I have have been going through. She understands the ups and downs of grief which is a blessing from the Lord. This has also served to better my relationship with my Dad. We haven’t always seen eye-to-eye on everything (don’t get us started on politics!) but over the past year my Dad and I have been working though our issues in our hearts as well as our issues with each other. We are communicating better and most of all we enjoy spending time together. My Sister and I are also drawing closer together. We have a little joke between us that we’re always emotional opposites. When I’m having a hard time with something, she has peace about it. When my Sister is struggling to understand, I’m there to try and explain it to her. Considering the fact that these are major life issues we’ve been wrestling with I am so grateful that we can count on each other and that God has made us unique enough to support each other during the tough times. I can honestly say I look forward to our family get-togethers on the weekends and holidays.

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Finally, over the next few months I’d like to start posting again on a regular basis. The biggest reason that I have haven’t been sharing here has been the things on my heart and mind involve matters that are private and involve other people. The Lord has seen fit to begin to heal those situations and is opening the door for a miraculous and amazing story about just how awesome God is and how powerful the Gospel is. My hope and prayer is that the things I share here will be an encouragement and blessing to those that read it and that unlike some of my posts last year, they will be uplifting to others and glorify the Lord.

Tags: 2008, 2009, 2010, Burbank, Cornerstone Church Simi Valley, Deborah Ames, Economy, Santa Clarita Valley, Update On My Aunt, WordPress 3 Column

Still Remembering The Lord…

Posted on June 25th, 2009 by Cliff Ames Jr.

I’m going to try and cover two topics in this post. First, a brief summary of what the Lord did last Thursday. Second, a brief summary of what the Lord has allowed since then.

Last Thursday June 18th, 2009 fourteen people experienced the goodness, faithfulness and trustworthiness of God in a real and tangible way. On a day that should have been filled with sorrow, hopelessness and anger, God did what He does best: He redeemed the irredeemable. As we all gathered around and enjoyed a wonderful and filling meal, we had the opportunity to catch up on what has happened in each others lives this past year. God has done much and over the past year we have all become more fully devoted followers of Christ. This process of course has not been without trial, suffering or discomfort. In fact the majority of it took place as we attempted to fill the gaping whole in our life that my Mom left. Fortunately, it has been the Lord that has filled that gap and provided for our needs in ways we never could have imagined.

After the meal we all gathered in the living room and talked about the many memories we had of the Lord working in my Mom’s life. The more that was shared the more we all saw just how much the Lord used my Mom and even her illness, to teach us all to love Him more. We also talked about the various ways we had all been changed by the Lord’s work in my Mom’s life and the lessons that we learned from her faith in Christ. What stood out most to me was the various words that were used to describe who my Mom was: Forgiving, patient, generous, loyal, selfless, unconditional love, faithful… Going through that list it is easy to see that those are all attributes that my Mom learned from one place… the Lord Jesus Christ. The attributes that we will always remember about her belong also to that of her Savior. She was salt, light, a city on a hill and despite her illness, she reflected the Glory of God with everything that she had in her.

When it was all over, and we had stuffed ourselves with some amazing home-made desserts, I had to take a moment and step back and think about what had just happened. Instead of weeping with no hope, there were tears filled with the promise of a not to distant reunion. Instead of anger at God’s timing there was praise for 52 years that God allowed her to stay. Instead of crawling into a dark room, pulling the covers over our head and pretending that day didn’t exist, we embraced the trustworthiness, faithfulness and goodness of God in the life of His servant, my Mom. It was good to remember 2Timothy 4:7 “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith” (ESV). I went to bed that night grateful for the amazing things that God had done that day, in light of what had happened a year ago that day: He had redeemed the irredeemable.

Now it is almost a week later and once again my family is faced with another challenge to remember and know that God is trustworthy, faithful and good. A few days ago my Mom’s sister (my Aunt Becky) was rushed to the hospital with severe pain in her stomach. While the doctors couldn’t immediately find the problem, we prayed and asked God to help them find the problem and come up with a solution to relieve her pain. You see shortly after my Mom’s death, my Aunt had a seizure and was hospitalized for over six months. In that time the doctors and nurses made many mistakes that almost cost my Aunt her life, and when all was said and done, they billed her and my Grandmother outrages sums of money for their mistakes. Over the past six months since my Aunt has been home from the hospital she has endured excruciating physical therapy, insurmountable financial challenges and sub-par medical care from people that should go to jail.

All of this, while she has patiently and quietly grieved for my Mom…

So today when we all found out that she was to have emergency surgery that would set her back to where she was six months ago it was hard to remember the Lord’s goodness. When the doctor came out and told us that my Aunt’s surgery had saved her life for now, rather than healed her permanently, it was hard to remember the Lord’s faithfulness. When I saw her there in the hospital bed with wires and tubes coming from everywhere, machines breathing for her, and barely conscious, it was hard to remember the Lord’s trustworthiness. But then something happened; I remember the Lord’s work in my Mom’s life. I remembered that she got her strength not from Muhammad, or Buddha or the Pope or some cosmic force. I remembered that she didn’t get her strength from reading a book, or rubbing some beads or taking some drug. I remembered “I can do all things through Him (Christ Jesus) who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13 ESV).

As I remembered that I prayed out loud:

“Father God thank You for this day and thank You for Your blessings. Lord help us to remember that You are good, that You are faithful and that You are trustworthy. God You have given us so much strength over the past few years, Lord we’re asking for just a little bit more. And God I believe that You are a never-ending supply of strength so give us what we need to get through this and Lord don’t let us forget where it comes from… Your Son Jesus Christ. In His good name we pray… Amen.”

Now I am at my Grandmother’s house, after having a large and boisterous meal with her and my Grandfather. Looking at us in that booth tonight you would have never known that we had just come from the Hospital or that my Grandmother and Grandfather had been divorced for longer than three decades. We stayed up until just a few hours ago talking and supporting each other. I feel blessed that they are both in my life and I am so grateful to “The Big General,” as my Grandpa calls Him, for all the time God has given me to spend with them, despite the circumstances under which we have met these past few years. It’s another reminder of God’s goodness, faithfulness and trustworthiness during this time of trial.

Your prayers for my Aunt are appreciated and I will do my best to update everyone via my Twitter page which links to my Facebook and to the box in the upper right column of this blog.

Tags: Aunt, deborahames.org, Grandma, Grandpa, Las Vegas Nevada

A Year Of Grief, Faithfulness, Trustworthiness And Goodness

Posted on June 18th, 2009 by Cliff Ames Jr.

Today at 6:15pm my family and I will be observing a moment of silent prayer. It will mark the day and time one year ago that my Mom was ushered in the loving arms of Jesus. At times it feels like that day was a long time ago. But for the most part the feelings, thoughts and overwhelming grief of that day have lingered just beneath the surface as I have wandered through the past 365 days.

I have listened to countless sermons, read a few books, received cards, wept through emails and have had some wonderful people speak God’s truth into my life. All of it has helped on one way or another, but the words the thoughts and prayers will simply never be enough. I dare say that no earthly thing will ever be enough to heal my heart and make it whole.

If there is one small lesson, one short thought, one simple message that I have received loud and clear from God it’s this: “Life on this earth is temporary… and that’s the way it should be.” There is no reason for us to long to stay here on this fragile, fallen and failing earth longer than God’s plan for us.

I am reminded of Paul’s words to the Corinthians,

“For we know that if the tent, which is our earthly home, is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life.” 2 Corinthians 5:1-4 ESV

Try applying that passage to one whom you love and has been diagnosed with a senseless disease that will slowly take her life. Try applying that passage to the hours you spend on the phone with nurses and doctors at 2am only to hear them tell you there’s nothing more you can do. Try applying that as you attempt to say your final goodbyes, only to be interrupted by your loved one crying out in pain and having to be sedated with Morphine. Try applying that as you count the seconds in-between the labored breaths and come to grips with the debilitating reality that the gap is increasing with brutal regularity. Try applying that as you hold their hand for the last time and watch the life slowly slip from their eyes and the strength slip from their grasp and they take their last breath.

My friends, I can say with all honesty that I failed… I failed to remember the faithfulness, trustworthiness and goodness of God.

I failed to remember the faithful God that created the universe, clothed the naked refugees, parted the Red Sea and sustained an entire people group despite their disobedience and rebellion. I failed to remember the trustworthy God that Abraham trusted despite being asked to sacrifice his one and only son Isaac, that Zechariah trusted despite God’s silence for 400 years and that Stephen trusted his life too in the midst of a hostile crowd. I failed to remember the good God that changes people’s hearts, empowers forgiveness and provides for all our needs in His perfect timing.

I forgot God, even though God had not forgotten me…

Now, after the toughest year of my life, I feel as if I am starting to remember the Lord. The word Remember is used over 130 times in the Old Testament and the majority of the time God is commanding us to remember what HE has succeeded in doing, not what WE have failed to do. Over this past year I have been challenged to regain an eternal perspective and abandon my selfish and unrealistic notion that I have any reason to be faithful to, to trust or to find true joy in anything on this earth that is temporal. Instead, I am to place my hope, faith, trust and expectation of good on the God who has given His Son Jesus Christ as a ransom for my life.

I have a feeling that this is not something that happens in a year, nor should it take place in a short amount of time. In fact, I can, should and want to spend the rest of my life enjoying God and proclaiming His faithfulness, trustworthiness and goodness to others. The best part is that as of the time that I write this, my hope and faith and trust is better placed today than it was a year ago, which shows God’s faithfulness to sustain me, His trustworthiness to lead me where I can’t see and His goodness to provide me with everything I need to get through this day with my mind stayed on the Gospel.

Pray for not only for my family and me today, but pray for yourself. Pray that you will not forget God in your time of need and that you will remember his faithfulness, trustworthiness and goodness, especially in those moments when all of them seem to be so far away.

Tags: Deborah Ames, deborahames.org, God's Faithfulness, God's Goodness, God's Trustworthiness, June 18th 2008, June 18th 2009

Thoughts On Grief For 9/11

Posted on September 11th, 2008 by Cliff Ames Jr.

For the past 7 years September 11th has been a day that has caused many to pause and ponder the fragility of human life. As a nation we have never experienced grief of this magnitude since Pearl Harbor so many decades ago, still fresh in the minds of another generation. One day in the future, people of this generation will tell the next generation why this day was so pivotal in our lives. And, just as our generation did, they won’t understand it until the defining and pivotal moment comes in their lifetime.

What is so fascinating about a day like September 11th is the scale, the comprehensiveness and the universality of the grief it brought about.

First, almost 3,000 people died as a result of the direct attacks that day and over 3,000 more have given their lives in the ensuing war. That makes the total cost in human lives (from America alone) at over 6,000. Imagine for a moment if only two people knew each of the 6,000 people that have died and you have at least 18,000 that have died or were directly affected by those events. But the list doesn’t stop there. Each of those two people have a few friends and pretty soon the number of those who are only 1 person away from the tragedy has grown quite a bit. Add to that the number of people who saw the attacks, and have watched the coffins arrive live on TV and now you have millions of people that witnessed a traumatic life changing event. The scale of grief is overwhelming to think about.

Second, the grief takes on many shapes and fashions. There is the immediate grief caused by the death of a loved one. There is the empathetic grief that others feel toward those that are left behind. There is the fearful grief at the loss of our safety and security. There is the angry grief at the failure of leadership to prevent the attacks and their decision to implicate an innocent nation instead of getting the real bad guys. There is the survivors grief of those who escaped buildings, called in sick, missed flights or had a feeling to take a different route than normal. There is the spiritual grief for those that can’t piece together how a loving and caring God could allow such terrible things to happen to those He says He loves and to their families. There is the guilty grief that wishes they had said “I love you,” or had hugged someone or forgiven someone but never got the chance. There is the intellectual grief that causes people to crunch numbers and count statistics on how it was almost impossible for all the tumblers to fall into place and allow the devil himself to be unleashed. The comprehensiveness of the grief is also overwhelming to think about.

Third, all humans will face grief in its various and insidious forms. It may come in the form of cancer, or a hurricane, or a tornado or a weak levy, but most often it comes from you and me. That’s right everyone, look around, look in a mirror and you will find the main source of grief in all it’s gory glory. Mankind. If we’re not doing something to hurt ourselves, we’re probably doing something to hurt someone else. No one in this life can escape it from the moment they are conscious of themselves to the moment they take their last breath. All have tasted the grip of grief. All are shaped by it, most don’t understand it, some embrace it and few deny it. We all know what it’s like to loose someone, even if it is not death that separates us. Perhaps it’s time, perhaps it’s hurt perhaps it’s distance. Whatever it may be, we have all lost people we cared about. We also have felt the sting of defeat in the midst of a battle. Perhaps it’s a battle with a disease, perhaps it’s a battle with sin, perhaps it’s a battle with God. There is no way to overlook the battles we’ve all lost in one way or another. The universality of grief will always be overwhelming to think about.

So where does that leave us 7 years later?

7 years later we still grieve, 6,000 people are still dead and everyone has been changed by this one event for the rest of their lives here on earth. I can only think of one other event in history that has affected mankind in such a way. It is the eucatasrophe of the cross. Out of the grief, pain, loss and fear that came in the final moments of the cross, there came an event that turned a catasrophic event into a glorious moment of hope and strength for those that needed it the most. The Resurrection. From the rubble of a mountain shaped like a skull came the new, pure and glorified body of the One who had made it all to begin with. Such is the work that only someone like the God of the Bible can do. Only God can take the shattered and torn in heart, the broken and weary in faith, the lonely and grieving in spirit and bring about a sudden and complete reversal that undoes the power of grief and transforms it into joy. And only God can heal those who grieve.

Tags: 9/11, Barack Obama, Cross, God, Grief, Jesus, John Mcain, New York, Pennsylvania, Pentagon, Shankesville, Tragedy, Washington D.C., World Trade Center

An Unexpected Turn

Posted on June 16th, 2008 by Cliff Ames Jr.

Please visit my Mom’s blog for an important update on her condition as well as a few prayer requests.

DeborahAmes.org

Tags: deborahames.org

Launching Soon…

Posted on March 18th, 2008 by Cliff Ames Jr.

In the next few days I am going to be launching my Mom’s website. I am very excited about it and can’t wait to share it with you all. It’s based on the verse she holds most dear.

13I can do all things through HIM who strengthens me.
-Philippians 4:13

Tags: Deborah Ames, Ovarian Cancer, Philippians 4:13

Abounding Trials

Posted on February 8th, 2008 by Cliff Ames Jr.

Since we first found out in October of 2006 that my Mom had been diagnosed with Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer our family has been through some tough days. Today was probably the toughest yet. As some of you know we found out last week that the Cancer has been spreading again and resisting the latest treatment. Today my Mom’s oncologist had to tell us what we never wanted to hear. Essentially, there is only one other chemo option left before her quality of life on the chemo would be worse than living with the cancer. The Doctor told us that with the way things are going he expects that my Mom may only have 6 months to a year left here on earth. He was very honest and told us that he doesn’t like to tell his patients things like that because “no one knows the future” but he thought it best to warn us as a family to be prepared. This of course is not the news we wanted to hear, rather it is the news we knew might happen someday.

Over the next few weeks as my Mom transitions to this “last” option we will need your prayers, we will need your support and most of all we will need the Lord’s guidance and peace. Hopefully in the next few weeks we’ll be setting up a website that will be updated regularly by our family and will be able to keep you posted on how things are going. As soon as it’s ready I’ll let you know.

I want to close with one last thought. In 1 Samuel 7 the prophet Samuel has called the Israelites back to the Lord after they had been disobedient. Despite the bad circumstances and the bleak outlook for the future Samuel does something incredible.

“Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen and called its name Ebenezer; for he said, ‘ ‘Till now the LORD has helped us.’”
- 1 Samuel 7:12 (ESV)

Although my Mom’s illness is not God’s punishment for sin, nor is it consequences of sinful behavior, our broken messy world and our frail earthly bodies are all subject to the consequences of the fall in the garden. Thank God for His Son Jesus Christ, who was sent to put enmity between us and the Accuser, to pay for our sin, to Rise again, conquering over death Hell and the grave, and to Ascend into Heaven so we know that our eternal hope is secure.

God has brought us this far, He is not going to let us go.

Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Here by Thy great help I’ve come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.

Tags: Firestorm

A Request…

Posted on January 22nd, 2008 by Cliff Ames Jr.

As I shared with you in this post, over the past few months my family and I have been under an intense spiritual attack. As a result I am asking those of you who feel led, to do something to support my family and me.

I am asking that on Monday January 28th, 2008 you to skip one meal that you usually have to pray and fast for these things:

1. Resolution to an ongoing conflict.

2. Peace for my family and me through this trial.

3. That God would give us wisdom for the decisions we need to make in the next few weeks.

There is no need to tell me or anyone else that you are fasting (Matthew 6:16-18). If for some reason you are physically unable to skip a meal please consider fasting from something else that perhaps is a luxury (such as caffeine or music).

Tags: Firestorm

God Is Not Defeated

Posted on October 10th, 2007 by Cliff Ames Jr.

Right now I am reminded of the stories of Ezra and Nehemiah. Ezra and Nehemiah are two books that take place after the deportation and exile of Israel as a result of their rebellion and disobedience to God. It seems, when their stories begin, that Israel as a nation has been abandoned by God and that God Himself has been defeated because He allowed His people to endure death, suffering, enslavement and exile. But the book of Ezra and Nehemiah show that God cannot and is not defeated. Even in the midst of trying and difficult circumstances, He is still on the throne, actively overseeing all things that happen.

All that is in preparation for what I am about to tell you. Most of you know that my Mom was very ill recently but had been healed and was doing better. Today we faced some tough news that her disease is coming back. Please be praying for her and my family.

Moms, Oklahoma, Parties, Coffee and Rain Oh My!

Posted on September 22nd, 2007 by Cliff Ames Jr.

Whew! What a day! My day started off in chapel today. It was quite possibly the best musical worship that I have ever experienced in chapel before! A team of international students did a tremendous job leading us in musical worship this morning. It was very emotional for me to realize just how much God has blessed me this past year. About a year ago we got some terrible news about my Mom that left us wondering just how much time we had left to spend with her. Today we had lunch in the cafe at school. Something that I thought a year ago would never happen. That just goes to show how little I know about God, His will, His plans and His way.

After I said good-bye to Mom I went to meeting for Outreach Week. Here at TMC in the fall classes are canceled for a week and the students are sent to different churches for Outreach Week. Last year because of my Mom’s illness I ended up serving at my Home Church and sticking close to Mom at the hospital. This year, because Mom has been healed, I am going waaay outside my comfort zone and traveling to Tulsa, Oklahoma to minster at a church there. I will be making a documentary about our team as well as helping put together a media campaign for an inner city community center the church would like to raise funds for and build.

Later in the evening I went to a party at one of my Professors house. He decided to have a party to welcome all the new Communication students since he is the head of the communication department. I really enjoy his parties not only because of the food but because I get to sit and have conversations about intellectual things and not be looked at like I’m crazy. As communication students we all have a lot in common because we’re all suffering through the same classes and we’re all subject to the wishes of the head of the department. He is very demanding and the students in the Communications department are expected to be intellectual, readers and writers at the very least. Don’t get me wrong, we didn’t discuss O’Henry and Faulkner the whole time; we did digress to feeding each other grapes and discussing the finer points of male female relationships.

After the party I headed off to the off-campus dorm of Cornerstone to visit with one of my buddies. We had a great time going out to coffee and hanging out. As we were sitting there rain began pouring from the sky. I had to walk back to my car in the rain without a jacket or umbrella and ended up getting pretty wet! It was awesome! It is the first rain that I’ve experienced in a long time. Even though I was uncomfortable at first I finally felt that rush of getting into a car, being soaked to the bone and enjoying a good laugh with a friend.

Needless to say, it has been a long day but a good day. Things have been very busy here and I am sort of behind on some of my work. Today was encouraging because I felt the joy of the Lord through-out all that I was doing. Tomorrow will be nose to the grindstone again, but today was important for many reasons. Among those is that I have had the opportunity to learn about enjoying today and not worrying about the next day.

“31′Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ”What shall we eat?” or ”What shall we drink?” or ”What shall we wear?” 32For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34″Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.’”

-Matthew 6:31-34 (ESV)