Tales From The Yellow Brick Road

Big Announcement #1: This Will No Longer Be An Online Journal About Me

As someone who has been blogging and podcasting for three years it’s really easy to think that because you’ve lasted this long, your blog is the best blog in the world, especially if you don’t read a lot of other blogs. I can honestly say I do read a lot of blogs and I know what a good one looks like and this isn’t one. So here are a few reasons why the blog is changing:

1. Lack Of Regularity And Consistency

When I first started blogging the goal and purpose was to share what was going on in my life and to pass on some funny stories, articles, pictures and videos. When I began reading other blogs they all had regular weekly features like Mind Dumps, Bible Journeys and other recurring themes and so for a while I tried to adopted that style. The only feature that ever really lasted was my TMC Journal but that was less a feature about life as a TMC student and more just an extension of what was going on in my life. That being said, an online journal is cool and all, but you really don’t develop a following or a regular audience unless you’re consistent. I have been consistently inconsistent and as a result I have very few regular readers and more Googlers and Yahooers that are just passing by when a keyword or tag from my blog lands in their search results.

2. A Need To Protect My Privacy

I have been a very honest and open person ever since I became a Christian. I felt that instead of keeping the blessings and failures in my life a secret, I would be someone that was transparent and real with those around me. I believe that part of it was my personality and part of it was a need for attention. Every once in a while I’d go through a “crisis” and strategically point any and every conversation toward my troubles in order to gain sympathy and affection from my friends. As I began to get older and more mature people began confronting me about it and so it decreased less and less to where I simply had a small circle of people who knew “everything” about me and then had the general population that would get and honest answer to any question they asked me for the sake of authenticity. I’m not sure it was a bad idea but when you go through life being an open book and are suddenly faced with a real crisis which can’t be public knowledge you learn very quickly that sometimes there is a need for privacy and protecting the parts of who I am that have no business being shared with mere acquaintances.

3. Disclaimers Are Good Up To A Point

Early on in my bogging experience, I made some comments on a Podcast that got me in trouble. Comments that led a friend of mine to believe that I was talking about them and the organization that we were a part of. I immediately got an irate phone call from them demanding answers and it took me quite a while to explain that the comments were not directed at them or the organization and had to remove the portion of the Podcast where I made the comments. After a few similar incidents, I posted a disclaimer that helped folks understand that my opinions were my own and that they were not the onions of others unless they stated so on the blog. However, I think I missed the point in that initial confrontation. The problem was less about who I was representing, but was more about the fact that my comments were misinterpreted because they were not well thought out or carefully planned. And sometimes, no matter how carefully you word something, there will be those who misinterpret what you say and end up being offended.

4. You Are What You Blog

I have to say when I look back at all the posts for the past three years I have noticed a frightening trend. Since I began blogging 70% of my blogs have been written because I was depressed and the content and the tone reflected that. In other words, this blog is pretty depressing when you go back and look at all the stuff that I’ve written. It has been the most intense the past 1½ years due to my Mom’s cancer and subsequent death but if someone was to come along and read this, without knowing me, they’d probably think I was a pretty depressed and somber guy. For those of you who know me, you know that I have a sense of humor and laugh a lot and joke a lot, but you wouldn’t think that by reading this. If I really wanted this blog to be a place where I share my thoughts and what’s going on, I either did a terrible job, or my life really sucks (it could be both).

——————————

Here is what you can expect in Tales From The Yellow Brick Road 2.0:

1. More Consistency For The Sake Of Consistency

Over the next month or so I’m going to be trying out a few different styles and formats. I’ll warn you in advance it’s going to suck, but I hope that when the right one comes along you’ll email me and speak up. I want to find a genre of blogging and stick with it. Maybe it’ll be an entertainment review blog, maybe it will be a Bible verse blog maybe it will be a Wizard Of Oz trivia blog who knows. All I know is when I find the right format that is appealing to all you regulars, I’ll stick with it.

2. I’m Keeping Stuff On The Down Low

If you want to know what’s going on in my life and want to keep up with all the stuff going on, you’re gonna have to find another way besides this blog. From now on my personal life will be private. I’m not ruling out the possibility of having a journal, but from now on it’s not going to be available for all the world to see. One alternative to this will be my Twitter Feed that I will maintain and keep updated with short snippets of what’s up, but don’t expect any posts about me or my life that are more than 140 characters.

3. I Ain’t Representin’

My disclaimer still stands, but just know that I reserve the right at anytime to give honest assessments of public organizations that I may or may not be involved in and that other people may or may not be involved in. Unless I name someone by name don’t assume that I’m talking about anyone in particular. If I’m going to blog about something that is potentially “misinterpretable,” I’ll clear it through someone else first before I post it. Hopefully, the lack of personal content on my part will also help eliminate some of those misunderstandings.

4. This Blog Is Now Officially On Prozac

From now on my posts will go through an elaborate evaluation for depression related material. Any and all posts that are potentially depressing will go through a rigorous editing and sifting process. All of us know that sometimes the world can be persistent source of discouragement, however there’s no reason for me to make this blog a sob fest that tries to coax certain emotional responses from people. Some of this will be solved due to increased privacy but mostly, it’ll be a conscience decision to choose a less discouraging approach.

Well that’s it for now. More jaw-dropping announcements to come shortly… I figured I’d start with and obvious and easy one.

I just wanted to let you all know that I will be making a few announcements here on the blog over the next few weeks. Most of the announcements have to do with some major changes in my life that will definitely affect this blog, its content as well as it’s purpose and goal. I hope that sentence was vauge enough for you all to check back often over the next few weeks.

In the meantime, I want to take this opportunity now to thank you all for faithfully reading here day after day even when I don’t get around to posting for days at a time. For those of you who are newer, this is a great opportunity for you to bail out now… JUST KIDDING! This is actually a great time for you to get to know me better and to one day in the future say, “I remember when…”

I hope that over the next few weeks during this time of transition that all of you will stick around while things get revamped and retooled for this next stage of my life.

Tell me if the following scenario sounds familiar:

Over 100 people are standing outside a bank, hoping they can get their money back. The bank had failed and now people were left wondering if everything they had worked so hard to earn and put away for a “rainy day” would now just be mud. You see the economy had taken a turn for the worse and after the hemorrhaging of the stock market the banks were starting to feel the sting of a recession.

If you think that sounds like the beginning of the Great Depression, you’re right, but it’s also what I witnessed today outside of IndyMac Bank in Torrance, CA.

I was running some errands in the area and decided to drive by the bank and see what their was to see. Needless to say I was shocked.

In Depression-Era style, people had lined up outside of the bank to withdraw their money and figure out what to do with it. “Lois” who retired from Honeywell over a decade ago said that she wasn’t sure if her money was safe somewhere else or not. “It’s a little scary to think that we’re not going to be able to get all of our money and if we get it where can we put it where it’ll be safe?” Most people in line said they’d have to put it in another bank. “Jesse,” a Navy Veteran on disability from asbestos poisoning said he had no choice but to put his money where it would collect little to no interest. “If I ever thought that this was possible I never would have put it all here. But this place offered me a great interest rate when my other bank was bought out two years ago. Now I have to trust that some other bank will keep my money safe.” The accounts offered by IndyMac paid as much as 5% interest to customers that banked with them, although that figure has been lowered for newer accounts as the economy has come to a crawl. Regular banks that offer Savings Accounts with interest usually only offer 2% or less, which is quite a large gap when you have more than $100,000 at stake.

“Bobby” and “Beverly” have a combined total of over the $100,000 that is Federally insured at IndyMac. They had arrived outside of the bank at 7:50am and found that a large line had already formed. It was about 2:00pm when I spoke with Bobby, who was sitting in the shade on the tailgate of his car. “When they opened they told us that they could only take 90 people… my wife and I were number 89.” As we talked, a large and loud security began shouting instructions at the crowd. His demeanor and tone were typical for what customers at the Torrance IndyMac branch had experienced all day. “When we first signed up they offered us coffee and snacks and all kinds of incentives. Now we’re standing out here in the heat and they’re yelling at us and won’t even give us some water,” Bobby explained. Earlier in the day some employees from Trader Joe’s across the parking lot from IndyMac brought over full carts of free water bottles to the anxious crowd, most of whom are 50 or older. Some employees from CitiBank also dropped by with juice boxes and fliers from their bank. One lady, who had been standing on her feet since 9am, needed two juice boxes and a helping had from Arturo, an employee at CitiBank. “We’re just here to help people get through this difficult time.” I asked him if felt that people would have a hard time trusting banks after today and he smiled, “That’s another reason we’re out here. We want to let folks know that not all banks have gone bad.”

However, at the front of the line, “Stan,” “Teresa,” “Deb,” and “Mia,” all had a different point of view. All four of them had been waiting since before 9am and all of them had disabilities that did not allow them to stand for long periods of time. “My parents did this 80 years ago,” said Stan, who had been offered a seat in someone’s yard chair due to his need for a walker. “They had to live through the banks going under back then and I’d never thought it’d happen again.” Deb, who was in a wheelchair and needs oxygen said that her money isn’t used for expensive trips or luxuries. “I use my money to survive. I’m a sick woman and even with health insurance I still have medical bills that are hundreds of dollars. The interest is how I pay those bills.” Now Deb faces the uncertainty of placing her money in another bank with high interest, hoping that they too will not fail. “Not only are they making us wait around, but we don’t even know if we’re going to get our money. You have to stand in line just to talk to someone.” Mia, who walks with a cane, said that she had no intention of putting her money in another bank. “I’ll just have to hold on to it and figure out what to do with it later. But at least I’ll know where it’s at and that if I need it I can get to it.” All four of them had waited over 3 hours before an official from the bank pulled them aside to let them wait in the shade. “We still might not get in today, no one has told us anything for hours,” said Deb.

At the back of the line, most people had only been there for an hour or so. “Linda,” said she wasn’t really nervous, but was hoping to get in today. “I have a lot of questions and I wanted to speak to someone in person.” When asked if she knew that the line she was in was to make an appointment for tomorrow, her expression changed. “So I have to stand in line today, in order to stand in line again tomorrow?” She asked. Anthony, a gentlemen in front of her replied, “Yeah, that’s how you can tell that the Government took over this operation. You have to wait in line, just so you can wait again.” The FDIC took over IndyMac on Friday and over the weekend it’s customers had a lot of time on their hands to worry about their futures. “It’s not like we didn’t see this coming,” Anthony added. “I’m going to three other banks today and putting it all in larger banks. I’m done with the smaller banks.” When asked what attracted him to the smaller bank in the first place he responded, “With a bigger bank comes less return and more bureaucracy. But if I’m gonna have to worry about the same thing at a smaller bank, why bother? I’m safer at a big bank.”

Time will tell if money is safer at the bigger banks or if this is just the beginning of a long line of bank failures.

I have so much I want to blog about right now but I have to pick the topics carefully. There is a lot going on and each topic is pretty serious. I regret that I am unable to speak freely about one particular trial that is front and center in my life right now. The complexness and the depth of this trial has astounded and perplexed my closest and “most spiritual” friends.

The biggest reason I am unable to speak freely about this is due to the fact that this trial involves other people whom you the reader may be acquainted with. As a result, sharing the details at this point in time would be inappropriate. However, in the next few weeks, there may come a point where I will need to make a statement regarding what is going on. And when I do, I want you to be prepared. What I have to tell you is very serious and very disturbing on so many levels. It will shock you. It will anger you. It will scare you. It will definitely change you.

So start praying. In fact, for the next 3 weeks, you need to be praying hard. Specifically, you can pray that the trial would no longer be magnified by the actions of others. I honestly wish I could be more specific, but God knows all the details and when you pray that prayer these next few weeks, rest assured that the Holy Spirit will translate eveything perfectly. When it is appropriate I will be more specific in the request, so check back often for updates.

The website is officially off and running. We have a few posts on their from all of us in the family and we’ll be posting a medical update as soon as we can.

Please be patient as we continue to expand and add new features.

http://deborahames.org

Monday was January 28th. On January 28th something terrible happened. It was the culmination of many human errors, lack of judgment for those in leadership and a day that took my breath away. It was a day that an explosion rocked my world. I was just going about my normal routine when I saw something and got a sick cold feeling in my stomach.

On January 28th I experienced something that I never experienced before. It was a deep sense of loss. A profound shift in my way of viewing life here on this earth. A bone chilling realization that I was not in control. I was helpless to stop it and yet so desperate to do so. People that I didn’t know had conversations that I would never hear that determined my fate and the fate of others.

On January 28th I stood in unity with my friends as well all experienced the shock and horror of the situation. The loss of words, the dryness of the mouth, the lump in our throats and the pain in our chest as we saw something explode. It was something we couldn’t prepare for, and yet, it was something we all knew could one day happen. Should it really have caught us by surprise?

On January 28th, 1986 the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded… and I’ve never been the same since. January 28th, has always been a solemn, somber day for me and this year was no different. It was a hard day remembering what it was like to be a little 6 year-old kid and see people explode right there on television. This was no cartoon it was REAL… I had watched them wave goodbye and get on the shuttle. And I knew the instant it exploded, that they were all gone forever. Later I would watch as the President comforted me and the entire nation. I felt comforted as he spoke about them touching the face of God. I believed in God and knew He loved people. I hoped that He had taken care of them when they died. And then I began to wonder what would happen when I died…

*This is a series of posts leading up to how I became a Christian.

I wanted to share an excerpt from a speech I heard recently:

We know the battle ahead will be long, but always remember that no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing can withstand the power of millions of voices calling for change.

We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics who will only grow louder and more dissonant in the weeks to come. We’ve been asked to pause for a reality check. We’ve been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope.

But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope. For when we have faced down impossible odds; when we’ve been told that we’re not ready, or that we shouldn’t try, or that we can’t, generations of Americans have responded with a simple creed that sums up the spirit of a people.

Yes we can.

It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.

Yes we can.

It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail toward freedom through the darkest of nights.

Yes we can.

It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.

Yes we can.

It was the call of workers who organized; women who reached for the ballot; a President who chose the moon as our new frontier; and a King who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the Promised Land.

Yes we can to justice and equality. Yes we can to opportunity and prosperity.

Yes we can heal this nation.

Yes we can repair this world.

Yes we can.

And so tomorrow, as we take this campaign South and West; as we learn that the struggles of the textile worker in Spartanburg are not so different than the plight of the dishwasher in Las Vegas; that the hopes of the little girl who goes to a crumbling school in Dillon are the same as the dreams of the boy who learns on the streets of LA; we will remember that there is something happening in America; that we are not as divided as our politics suggests; that we are one people; we are one nation; and together, we will begin the next great chapter in America’s story with three words that will ring from coast to coast; from sea to shining sea

Yes…

We…

Can…

-Barack Obama January 8th, 2008, New Hampshire.

I don’t care what your political affiliation is or what person you think should be the next president. That speech is the kind of speech that brings tears to my eyes. That is the kind of speech that gives me hope that things can change. That is the kind of speech I want to write for someone someday.

And any time I’m tempted to give in, or quit or turn away from the path that I know is right… I’m going to remember this speech. I’m going to remember this speech and add to it the original thought from the scriptures that I love so much…

1Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.

-Hebrews 12:1-3 (Emphasis Added)

I’m sure the author here was familiar with Isaiah 40

28Have you not known? Have you not heard?The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
29He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
30Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
31but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.

-Isaiah 40:28-31 (Emphasis Added)

These past few months have been very difficult for many reasons. God has seen fit to allow The Accuser to persecute me in unbelievable ways. I must admit I have had a hard time standing up under these trials. For many years I’ve had James Chapter 1 memorized where James writes concerning trials and wisdom. I have been overwhelmed by one and lacking the other.

I hope that those of you who read my blog (whether it be friend or foe) will take a minute to remember that I am only a human. I am an imperfect human struggling to be free of sin. Over the next few months I know that my life will be radically changing and I know that as a result I will be less Christ-like than I should be. I know that I will not be able to treat all of you in a manner that best honors our friendship, nor in a manner that best honors Christ. I know that the stress and the strain will get to me on some days and I will be tempted and fall.

But can we get through it?

Yes we can… with God’s help…

What will you say when I ask you to stand beside me even though you’ve heard terrible things about me that are not true?

Yes I can… with God’s help…

What will you believe when you’re ready to give up on me?

Yes he can… with God’s help…

And someday when I’m gone and you are asked if I glorified God in the face of persecution I hope you will say:

Yes he did… with God’s help…

Sorry for the harsh language but I am finally rid of a group of people that have made my life miserable. Who are these people you might ask? They are the (sarcastic) “friendly helpful staff” of Network Solutions. Last year you may remember when my blog went down I reformatted the whole look and had a major disaster getting back up and running and having all of my files from 2007 lost because of a mistake on Network Solution’s Part.

Well now I have switched over to a new company and have basically got a year free of hosting from them. Who are these people you might ask? They are the (honestly) friendly helpful staff of Netfirms. They have offered me a much bigger hosting package at half of what I was paying with those reprobates at NS. So far I am very impressed with their customer service and I am equally impressed with their features and control panel. I can now breath a sigh of relief and I go about my day worry free that my web site will be deleted.

Don’t you hate it when you know certain people read your blog and you want to write about them. But you know if you write about them they will know that you are writing about them because if you say, “My friend Stan…” they know you really mean “My friend Sam….” So it’s frustrating.

Or what about a situation where you have a crush someone and you begin to describe them and how they act and all of a sudden the person reading it knows that you are talking about them because you describe an a specific incident, or place or a phrase that they used and it made you lovesick. I think it’s against the rules to find out someone has a crush on you through their blog.

Or what about someone that doesn’t like you. Chances are they won’t read your blog right afterwards it’ll be later when they think, “I wonder if he blogged about me?” And sure enough there is this 500 word post on how you had a fight with a “friend” and of course you call them all sorts of names (except their real name of course) but any person that reads it (especially the friend) knows exactly what happened and who you are talking about.

You can get in all sorts of trouble for the words you use on your blog. I have to admit sometimes it’s tempting when something happens to just lay the whole thing out there for everyone to see and know about. Tell your side of the story and get the truth out there at any cost because it’s your blog and your loyal faithful readers (all 3 of them) deserve to know what is going on so that they can leave their comments of support. And so that your adversary knows that you are not going to take all of this lying down.

But then again there is something in scripture that amazes me. When Jesus stands falsely accused before Caiaphas, the Synoptic Gospels record that Jesus, for the most part, was silent before His accusers (Matthew 26:57-68; Mark 14:53-65; Luke 22:54-71). The only thing He told them was that the Son of Man would be seated in Power. All Jesus does is gives glory to God. He doesn’t argue, He doesn’t fight, He doesn’t threaten them, He doesn’t vaporize them… He is silent except to Praise His Father.

Which reminds me of Job 40. Job has questioned God on a number of occasions and throughout the whole process God does not answer except to glorify His name. When Job finally “gets it” he says:

4″Behold, I am of small account; what shall I answer you?
I lay my hand on my mouth.
5I have spoken once, and I will not answer;
twice, but I will proceed no further.”

-Job 40:4-5

I realize that words are powerful. A favorite song of mine from a musical called Into The Woods says, “Careful the things you say, Children will listen.” Of course I think the Bible says it best:

1 A soft answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.

-Proverbs 15:1

Not only are words powerful, they can’t be undone. There is no “do over,” no second chance, no time travel to go back in time and say something over again. And so I am learning about silence. I am learning that there is no need to lash out to my adversaries with words. I am learning that if I do speak it should be with God’s glory in mind.

I am learning how to be silent.*

Shall I Attempt To Speak (mp3)
Shall I Attempt To Speak (PDF)

*It’s time for another blogging break. Not sure how long this one will last. Check back often.

Happy Thanksgiving To All!

There is something very interesting about Thanksgiving for me. On my mother’s side I have a Cherokee Indian heritage. On my father’s side I am a direct descendant of Fisher Ames, the famous author and statesman of the late 1700’s. Here in America, Thanksgiving was celebrated between the Pilgrims and Indians* in the 1600’s. One particular celebration occurred in 1621 the year after my father’s ancestors came over on the Mayflower in Plymouth where they had settled. It is amazing for me to think that 386 years ago my father’s ancestors sat at the table with Indians and shared a meal when a short time later they would be persecuting these misunderstood inhabitants of the land.

My mother’s ancestors and my father’s ancestors warred with each other hundreds of years ago an yet I sit here today with their blood flowing through my veins. I’ve never quite been able to grasp all the ramifications of this seeming endless line of cause and effect except to know that God’s plans are amazing. For the blood of two people groups to coexsist peacfully indside of me is a work that only God can do. Our God is a God of Peace and yet He will wage war against the devil. Our God is a God of love and yet He hates sin. Our God is a God of mercy yet He is just. Two opposites, coexisting with one another in perfect harmony.

I know most homes go around the table and share with their loved ones something they are thankful for… I think this year there are many things I am thankful for, most of which don’t need to be named here… but one thing that I will be thankful to God for is that He is a balanced and perfect God and has given me the heritage of two great people groups.

*Some of you may cringe at the term “Indian” but the term Native American is offensive to me. I am an Indian and proud to say so. If you no like-um I scalpe-um you! Me heep big angry at being Politically Correct!

My friend, and fellow Slight-mate, Micah Lugg has posted some thoughts on the I-5 tunnel accident that happened not far from here. It’s been all over the news and has snarled traffic around TMC and has affected our commute times since the Freeway detour runs down the main road that is by our school. All in all it’s been weird to think that a tragedy would affect you. It reminds me of the Minnesota disaster that happened recently and how people there are affected by that tragdey. No one ever thinks it will happen to them.

Anyways, HERE IS THE LINK to his post… it’s much better then anything I had to say.

Right now I am blogging from my iPhone. Of course this is nothing new to most of you except I have downloaded a template that allows me to post using a special modified interface that works better with the phone.

The recaps for Thursday through Saturday will be posted sometime within the next week or so.

The video journals will be release over the next month or so.

Check back often for those updates!

Well it’s the night before the big trip and I am doing laundry. The Pelican Case for Iron Eagle arrived and I had fun plucking out the foam. I took a little road trip with my RA to “West Hollyweird” to pickup the tape I needed for the camera. The batteries are charged. My digital camera is charging now and the memory card has been cleared and is ready for whatever comes our way. This trip will be well documented digitally and I am very excited about that. I will definitely be posting as often as I can. The limits of my iPhone will be highly tested on this trip I can already tell. It’s starting to feel more like a tool every day.

I can already see the spiritual battle starting, so please be praying that we will stand firm in all we do. Getting there and back again is half the battle so be praying for the long road trip as well.

I am really excited to be going outside my safe little comfort zone. Don’t get me wrong… THIS IS SCARY! But it’s a good kind of scary. God has placed great leadership in place for the team and has provided our team the opportunity to go where there is a real need right now. To borrow the expression, time is short, hell is hot and so we are charging forward with nothing but a water pistol.

*Please note that this special series of blogs will include guest posts from other team members as well as short audio and video clips so check back often! We may be posting more than once a day!

Since some of you are new to this blog, here is a link to my post from last year on my memories of 9/11/2001.

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