My homeboy Mark Driscoll is currently featured on the front page of the NYTimes website. I have to admit, this article made me laugh big time!
Conservatives call Driscoll “the cussing pastor” and wish that he’d trade in his fashionably distressed jeans and taste for indie rock for a suit and tie and placid choral arrangements. Liberals wince at his hellfire theology and insistence that women submit to their husbands. But what is new about Driscoll is that he has resurrected a particular strain of fire and brimstone, one that most Americans assume died out with the Puritans: Calvinism, a theology that makes Pat Robertson seem warm and fuzzy.
Not only is this article well written, but it gives great exposure to a church that is doing some awesome things! What a breath of fresh air and a welcome change! Keep it up Pastor Mark and keep a seat open for me when I finally get to Seattle!
Oh.. How I love Calvanism!!! [/sarcasm]
The Song of Mark Driscoll
And Mark said,
Loving is for sissies, and Jesus was a dude–
I don’t just mean he had a pair, I mostly mean he’s rude.
Acts of sinful nature are transformed in my eyes
To manly concupiscence, so I extol them to my guys.
I’ve got “daddy issues,” the likes you’ve never seen.
So I ignore all fruit of Spirit and insist real men are mean.
I’m groping for my manhood, but not inside my slacks
For I prefer the lies of culture to all the Bible’s facts.
I call Jesus “Macho Man” and re-cast him in my fears,
And I won’t admit my problems, ’cause problems are for queers.
I posture on the podium, and posture in the home!
And I posture in the coffee shops and posture on the phone!
I’m a man, O yes, I am! Don’t say that I am meek.
Jesus said that he would bless them, but it’s not Him I seek.
It is the image in the mirror that’s all I need to know,
Plus a little crush on Calvin to put on a good show.
Grace is crying in the kitchen but I’ll turn the other cheek–
For now that I am famous, she knows better that she’s weak.
Love for Jesus is for chicks–and I’ll not say “I do.”
I’m no Bride of anyone–especially a dude.
Just try it, Jesus, go ahead–I’ll punch you in the eye!
Don’t talk of love and unity and how for me you died.
A different Jesus! That’s for me–a bully like myself.
“Relationship” is for the girls, and machismo is true wealth.
I won’t love you! No I won’t! Don’t say that you’re the Groom.
I’d rather have you emasculated, then put back in the tomb.
And it came to pass, that the audience of Mark Driscoll could no longer put up with the preaching of a “different Jesus” as the Corinthians had, and so they feared God and repented of their idolatry. And some of them were courageous and confronted Mark as did the brave priests in King Uzziah’s time, but they were persecuted and sore abused. They continued to intercede for their deceived brother, but Mark’s sin had not yet reached full measure and the outcome of their intercession was not yet known . . .
Holy cow! Someone went to a lot of trouble to write this… Where did you find it?