Right now I am having a hard time trusting God with my life here on earth. You see for the past 8 months my faith has been on what could best be described as a roller coaster with no seat belts. I have been facing trials and hardships so evil that you’d think Stephen King had been involved in developing plot. People who claim to be Christians have relentlessly pursued my destruction and I am left wondering how I can pick up my Bible and read about a God that is good, and yet face so much bad.
For those that are thinking right now, “Well Cliff you have to realize it’s all because of the fall in Genesis 3,” I’d like to remind you that I do believe that God created the earth and it’s inhabitants in 7 days and that He created everything good, and that eventually mankind screwed up and we now live in a fallen world as a result. I know that and I believe it, but while you’re patting yourself on the back for remembering the correct Sunday School answer, don’t forget about Verse 15 of Genesis Chapter 3.
“15I will put enmity between you and the woman,
and between your offspring and her offspring;
he shall bruise your head,
and you shall bruise his heel.”
-Genesis 3:15 (ESV)
You should also remember from Sunday School, that Verse 15 promises the coming of Jesus who brings hope for eternal life. So let’s not make all of Genesis 3 the “scapegoat” for evil in the world. Genesis 3:15 is a glimmer of hope in the midst of the greatest disaster in human history.
And so here I am in the midst of the greatest disaster in my own history and I’m having a hard time finding that glimmer of hope. You see several years ago me and a few of my Christian friends in Florida had a running “joke” about what life was like at the end if a particularly hard day. We use to say, “Well… at least I still have my salvation.” Although it was a joke at the time, nothing that I or those other friends of mine had been through really put that statement to the test. That is until recently in my life.
Another friend of mine made a shocking and sobering statement to me last night. We were discussing my current trial and he reminded me of Romans 8:28.
28And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
-Romans 8:28 (ESV)
He then asked me if there was a time limit on that verse…
to which I responded no…
and then I realized the cold hard truth…
God promises that if I love Him and am called according to His purpose that all things will work together for my good…
but God can do so whenever He wants to…
meaning that God doesn’t have to work things together for good while I’m here on this earth…
And so in the midst of the firestorm that I have been facing, and the trial that I am about to face, I’m left with nothing but a handful of promises in Scripture that don’t have to be fulfilled until heaven. And I’m left thinking to myself, “Well… at least I still have my salvation…” but is that enough? Do I have enough faith to trust God to make all the injustices, loss and pain here on earth worthwhile when I get to heaven?
You see I am greatful my friend also graciously pointed out that perhaps the glimmer of hope in all of this is that I have an eternity with Jesus to look foward to. Sure it’ll be great to be reunited with my Mom and my other friends and family that are enjoying God’s presence, but my problem in all of this is has been that I haven’t longed for heaven enough. I’ve been too consumed and wrapped up with my “best life now” to realize that the best is yet to come.
So pray that I’ll repent of my unbelief and be more content about living the next life, rather than being consumed with my desire for fulfillment in this life.
Cliff, my brother, I appreciated how you have asked real questions and have not settled for simple answers. And that is encouraging because your faith is growing in the midst of it.
This summer, I am preaching through Hebrews 11 and it has been really encouraging to study the men and women who have gone before us with such incredible faith. They lived in times when life was confusing and painful and yet “they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city.” They looked beyond their circumstances to a heavenly reward. In fact, Abraham knew that heaven was more real than the promised land he had traveled to.
I say all of that just to encourage you to press on to believe, to have faith in what your loving Father is providing for you. It may not make sense right now, but it will in the end. I will be praying that your hope would be set on another world.
You know me better than to leave you with a Sunday school answer. Let me just say this — If this skeptic (me) can manage to find faith in a loving God who will make good on His promises (even if they are after I die), then I think there is hope for you.
I’ve struggled my whole life to understand God — and I’m still not there yet. But what is my alternative? I know God exists… either I accept His promise on faith and (hopefully) reap my reward in Heaven or I reject it and live in misery here on Earth with no hope of reward or life after this one on Earth ends.
I’m praying for you, brother.