Dear Thug(s)-
Hope you’re not offended by the word Thug but then again you committed a crime and broke into my car so I don’t really care if you are offended or not. Oh yeah and… YOU FORGOT THE RADIO MORON!
Something tells me that you’re not too bright. Perhaps you should have taken my $200 flashlight so that next time you can see better, but it seems you left that behind too.
Maybe you had your $75 headphones on and were distracted by the loud music playing in your empty head. That would explain why you left my iPhone headphones behind after you went through my glove compartment.
But maybe, just maybe the thing you should have taken was my $150 police scanner.
Because when the cops use the fingerprints you left in my car (and you did leave some) to find you and hunt you down, you’re going to wish you had some warning to run from the SWAT team that kicks down your door, uses a flash-bang grenade to make your ears ring and your eyes blind. And I hope when they shove you to the ground like the scum you are you’ll think, “Why would they go to all this trouble when I didn’t take anything?”
Because you did take something from me. You took away my sense of security and safty. True, I live in the ghetto and the likleyhood that you live in the ghetto too is very high. But you chose the wrong white-guy to attack last night. Because when the SWAT team carries you out of that house I’ll be there with the $3000 camera that you left in my trunk to put your incompentant, ugly face all over the news so that when your thug friends bail you out with their crack money, you’re Mom will beat you silly like she should have done when you were younger.
Oh and if you’re thinking about coming back to my hood and back to my car and trying again, you better hope and pray the posse I’ve rounded up doesn’t catch you.
