Fight 2 Win

Today I am flooded with all kinds of emotions.

I finished my last final this morning around 8:30am. Instead of celebrating with my friends, I packed most of my stuff in my car and drove 50 miles south to Green Hills Cemetery to be with the friends and family of my dear friend Alese Coco. Today marks one year since she passed away from complications due to Hodgkin’s Disease.

I am still bothered by the fact that she was so young, had so much that she could have done, and yet people tell me that “God chose” to take her home to be with Him instead. Right now, I think that was pretty selfish of Him.

I wanted to have more time with Alese. I wanted to sit in front of the TV with Alese and imitate our favorite characters. I wanted to go to a restaurant and instead of waiting 2 hours like everyone else, waiting 2 minutes while Alese sweet talked her way to the best seat in the house. I wanted to have another laugh-so-hard-you-cry moment with Alese as we both made disparaging comments about each other’s style of clothing at almost the exact same time. There were many more moments that I wanted to have with this girl who made me feel like I was her big brother and she was my little sister.

Which is something that haunts me all the time. You see Alese and my sister were born the same year just a few weeks apart. It’s hard to think about Alese because I realize that it was only by “God’s sovereignty” that it is Alese instead of my sister in the grave. That could have been me and my family out there today, marking one year since we lost someone we love. In fact, with the way things are going with my Mom’s condition, it may be us standing by the grave of a loved one sooner then we’d like. It may be us, listening as a Pastor preaches on the “storms of life” and insists that there is a moment when “the sun bursts through the clouds” and there is a happy ending. It may be us listening to the sound of worship songs being sung through tears of sorrow and pain. It may be us that look toward heaven and ask, why couldn’t we have had one more day, one more month, one more year… one more lifetime.

Today has been another hard day, and right now, I’m not sure why I’m gonna get up tomorrow.

But I will get up tomorrow. And I’ll hug and kiss my Mom. And I will will do everything in my power to stand beside her and help her Fight2Win. From here on out, it may be the only thing that keeps me going.

Links:

AleseCoco.org (Alese’s homepage and journal)

Fight2Win.org (launched today in order to fund a cure to fight and win the battle against Hodgkin’s Disease)

DeborahAmes.org (my Mom’s homepage and journal)