Nov 17 2008
Coping With The “Holidays”
There a few new posts on my Mom’s Website that have been posted over the past few weeks. Go check it out and keep us in prayer as the holidays approach.
Nov 17 2008
There a few new posts on my Mom’s Website that have been posted over the past few weeks. Go check it out and keep us in prayer as the holidays approach.
Oct 27 2008
For the past few weeks as the election gets closer I have found myself defending my decision to vote for Senator Barack Obama. This is probably the first time I have ever defended a Presidential Candidate with logical arguments, personal experience and a sense of urgency to defeat the alternative choice. Of all the issues that come up the most the two that I have avoided talking about were Abortion and Marriage For Homosexuals. The reason was that I felt in my gut that Senator McCain’s statements and attitudes towards those issues were not based on the same values and standards that I have as a follower of Jesus. The trouble was, I just couldn’t put it into words in order to come up with good solid arguments other then “Me no likey.”
So when I came across Donald Millers blog and found the following statements on these two major issues, plus an additional statement on the faith of both candidates, I nearly leaped for joy! So thank you Donald Miller for once again putting into words something that I have had so much trouble expressing.
On abortion:
I am a pro-life voter, but do not believe John McCain’s plan on the issue will work. McCain’s only stand on the issue has been a recent switch to a pro-life position, and a promise to continue the attempt to criminalize abortion through the Supreme Court.I believe this is an empty promise, and anybody who understands our judicial system would know this. Chief Justice John Roberts of the Supreme Court (our most conservative Judge, many feel, and the pro-lifers greatest hope for the plan to criminalize abortion) has stated that Roe V. Wade “is the law of the land” and has been backed up in precedent by the Casey case. He does not believe it is plausible to overturn both rulings. Of course it is possible, but it would take a judicial miracle and the appointment of even more conservative, activist judges. This is the only way the overturning of Roe V. Wade will happen. The continuation of rhetoric about being pro-life but not having a realistic plan has tired me of the Republican Party. As more and more evangelicals walk away, I hope Republicans will stop giving lip-service to this important issue. My hope is they will realize they are going to lose more and more votes until they are willing to engage in a bipartisan effort to make progress with comprehensive legislation that is realistic and actual.
The Democrats have proposed comprehensive legislation called the 95/10 initiative that aims to reduce the number of abortions that take place in this country by 95% within 10 years. While Barack Obama is a pro-choice candidate, he supports this and similar legislation. This is the only proposed and realistic strategy that can move us around the cultural impasse that is breathing hate and anger into the Christian community.
While Barack Obama opposes late-term abortions, he has made promises to the National Organization or Women to make progress in a woman’s right to chose. I wish Obama were more strong on this issue. Still, I do feel he will accomplish more than John McCain, as John McCain has only recently taken this position and offers no legislation and no plan.
This is a very debatable issue. There are facts on both sides that seem to refute any argument made. But I have had to do the research and take a position and, for now, this is my position.
Gay Marriage:
This is not an issue I think much about because I am neither gay nor married, but I understand the evangelicals desire to protect the sanctity of marriage and define it as an exclusive relationship between a man and a woman. I agree with both candidates on this issue as they both oppose gay marriage but protect constitutional rights for domestic partners. In order to oppose civil rights for homosexuals, you would have to change the constitution which I think is dangerous. I agree with McCain and Obama both on this issue as they have stated the same position.
On other issues that are no less important although less heated such as the economy, globalization and trade, the environment and energy, I support Barack Obama’s positions over John McCain’s.
But let me make something very clear. I don’t dislike John McCain. I think he is a good man and a drastic improvement over Republican candidates in the past. I do wish he were a Christian, or would talk about faith, Jesus, Redemption or the Cross. Barack Obama does, very often, and very unashamedly. I am uncomfortable with the idea of a truly secular man in the White House, a man who has no church, no pastor, does not read the Bible and may not even pray. John McCain seems like a good man, but a secular man. I want our next President to talk and listen to God.
Oct 13 2008
I think I can honestly say we should sing the following song…
“Some to Jesus I surrender
Some to Him I sort of give
I will sometimes love and trust Him
In His presence sometimes liveI surrender some
I surrender some
Some to You my blessed Savior
I surrender some”
Surrendering all to Jesus just hasn’t been difficult for me all of my life. With all the major changes He threw my way over the past year, it’s been even harder to let go and surrender everything to Him.
I trust myself, I rely on myself, I can take of myself, I know myself and I love myself. But I have trouble trusting God, relying on God, allowing God to take care of me, knowing God and loving God. The problem is, I will always fail and He will never fail. In recent conversations, I’ve come to realize that I am the one that has failed time and time again in many areas, but that God has never once failed me. Just because He allowed blessings for a time and then took them away, doesn’t mean He has failed.
I have a feeling that very few people could meaningfully sing the actual words to that song…
“All to Jesus I surrender
All to Him I freely give
I will ever love and trust Him
In His presence daily liveI surrender all
I surrender all
All to You my blessed Savior
I surrender all”
It’s hard to surrender. It’s hard to raise you hands to God in surrender when the whole world has been turned upside down and you feel like the only thing you’ve got going for you is gravity. Well guess what? Gravity… that’s God’s faithfulness. You think that breath you just took was something you did? Nope… Turns out that’s God’s faithfulness too. Have you tried to create a Solar System latley? Some of you can’t even creat an Excel Spreadsheet let alone a planet. So when the tough times come (not if but when) and you think you can go it alone and you don’t need to surrender to God, be prepared for a thumping. I can honestly say from my own experiences that surrender is the only option.
Too bad we don’t do it more often…
Sep 20 2008
Big Announcement #3: I Am Looking For A New Home Church
After 16 years at the same church, God has made it abundantly clear that it is time for me to move on to a new church. I have spent over half my life at that church and didn’t quite imagine things ending the way they did. I think the shock and denial has worn off and I’ve moved on to some of the other stages of grieving for this departure, but suffice it to say, I am relieved to finally be leaving and I know they are relieved that I am leaving as well.
That being said, I am departing with a “good standing” as far as membership goes, and I want to state for the record, and for those that may read my blog and still decide to go there: I am making this decision because it is what is best for me. For too long I did what I thought was best for the church but in the long run I think that was wrong. I truly believe that for many reasons this church got in the way of my relationship with God and instead of putting Him first, I put their reputation and even my own reputation above standing up and doing what was pleasing an honoring to God. Let it also be said that there were mistakes made on both sides. I can only be responsible for my mistakes, and taking responsibility for them, and I believe I have done so. There is no need for me to drag their name through the mud or warn those that still attend of the dangers of the church. And there is certainly no need for me to ever have any doubts that there are people at that church that love the Lord.
That being said, I know that I have made some eternal friendships and most recently some earthly enemies. I will continue to do my best to maintain those friendships and will do my part to be at peace with all men if possible. While it would be nice if those that are my enemies would repent of their sin and choose to be at peace with me, I am fairly certain that the devil’s foothold is strong in their lives and only God can change that if He wants too. Those who have stood by my side despite the risk to do so and pressure not to do so, have a special place in my heart and will certainly reap the eternal benefits of doing the right thing in the face of opposition. Those that aligned themselves with my enemies and chose to believe the lies from The Accuser, will have to answer to God, who has all of eternity to make things right.
Over the coming weeks I’ll be looking for a new church home, a process which I am fairly new to and have much anxiety and trepidation about and here is where I could use your help. I have a few questions and hope that you can take some time to answer them:
In closing, I’d like to ask you all to pray about some things:
Sep 11 2008
For the past 7 years September 11th has been a day that has caused many to pause and ponder the fragility of human life. As a nation we have never experienced grief of this magnitude since Pearl Harbor so many decades ago, still fresh in the minds of another generation. One day in the future, people of this generation will tell the next generation why this day was so pivotal in our lives. And, just as our generation did, they won’t understand it until the defining and pivotal moment comes in their lifetime.
What is so fascinating about a day like September 11th is the scale, the comprehensiveness and the universality of the grief it brought about.
First, almost 3,000 people died as a result of the direct attacks that day and over 3,000 more have given their lives in the ensuing war. That makes the total cost in human lives (from America alone) at over 6,000. Imagine for a moment if only two people knew each of the 6,000 people that have died and you have at least 18,000 that have died or were directly affected by those events. But the list doesn’t stop there. Each of those two people have a few friends and pretty soon the number of those who are only 1 person away from the tragedy has grown quite a bit. Add to that the number of people who saw the attacks, and have watched the coffins arrive live on TV and now you have millions of people that witnessed a traumatic life changing event. The scale of grief is overwhelming to think about.
Second, the grief takes on many shapes and fashions. There is the immediate grief caused by the death of a loved one. There is the empathetic grief that others feel toward those that are left behind. There is the fearful grief at the loss of our safety and security. There is the angry grief at the failure of leadership to prevent the attacks and their decision to implicate an innocent nation instead of getting the real bad guys. There is the survivors grief of those who escaped buildings, called in sick, missed flights or had a feeling to take a different route than normal. There is the spiritual grief for those that can’t piece together how a loving and caring God could allow such terrible things to happen to those He says He loves and to their families. There is the guilty grief that wishes they had said “I love you,” or had hugged someone or forgiven someone but never got the chance. There is the intellectual grief that causes people to crunch numbers and count statistics on how it was almost impossible for all the tumblers to fall into place and allow the devil himself to be unleashed. The comprehensiveness of the grief is also overwhelming to think about.
Third, all humans will face grief in its various and insidious forms. It may come in the form of cancer, or a hurricane, or a tornado or a weak levy, but most often it comes from you and me. That’s right everyone, look around, look in a mirror and you will find the main source of grief in all it’s gory glory. Mankind. If we’re not doing something to hurt ourselves, we’re probably doing something to hurt someone else. No one in this life can escape it from the moment they are conscious of themselves to the moment they take their last breath. All have tasted the grip of grief. All are shaped by it, most don’t understand it, some embrace it and few deny it. We all know what it’s like to loose someone, even if it is not death that separates us. Perhaps it’s time, perhaps it’s hurt perhaps it’s distance. Whatever it may be, we have all lost people we cared about. We also have felt the sting of defeat in the midst of a battle. Perhaps it’s a battle with a disease, perhaps it’s a battle with sin, perhaps it’s a battle with God. There is no way to overlook the battles we’ve all lost in one way or another. The universality of grief will always be overwhelming to think about.
So where does that leave us 7 years later?
7 years later we still grieve, 6,000 people are still dead and everyone has been changed by this one event for the rest of their lives here on earth. I can only think of one other event in history that has affected mankind in such a way. It is the eucatasrophe of the cross. Out of the grief, pain, loss and fear that came in the final moments of the cross, there came an event that turned a catasrophic event into a glorious moment of hope and strength for those that needed it the most. The Resurrection. From the rubble of a mountain shaped like a skull came the new, pure and glorified body of the One who had made it all to begin with. Such is the work that only someone like the God of the Bible can do. Only God can take the shattered and torn in heart, the broken and weary in faith, the lonely and grieving in spirit and bring about a sudden and complete reversal that undoes the power of grief and transforms it into joy. And only God can heal those who grieve.
Sep 08 2008
I heard a story once that when Vince Lombardi first took over the Green Bay Packers he faced some real challenges. Legend has it that one day, out of frustration for their poor performance, he stopped practice and had all the players gather around him and a football. He is rumored to have told his his players, “This is a football. These are the yard markers. You are the players. I am the coach.” He then went on to explain each detail of the game of football as if they had never heard it before, not out of disrespect, but beause the players had forgotten the basics of the game and the ultimate goal.
Everyone in a while I think God stops practice, gathers us around and says, “This is a Bible. This is my Son. I am God. You are not.” God has a way of reminding us about the basics of what it means to be a follower of Christ. Usually that moment comes in the midst of a trial or failure when we need it the most. Sometimes it happens when everything seems to be going okay, and we feel like we’re at the top of our game. It’s easy to be deceived into thinking that things are going well, but it’s a big wake up call when The Coach has you on the bench because you’ve forgotten the basics. Maybe you even felt like you made a big play but He puts you on the bench anyways. Don’t forget, the basics: He’s God… you’re not. It’s all about playing the game for Him, not for yourself or your glory. And when you get back on the field, don’t go right back out there and forget the basics again, or it’ll be another lap in the wilderness for you.
Eventually we’ll learn the basics and we’ll never forget them. By that time we’ll have played many games. Lost some and won some. But no matter what the record may seem to be to you, The Coach still has a perfect season everytime. And at the end of the season you get a crown and a trophy to enjoy with The Coach for your retirement. You’ll be so banged up and bruised from the game you’ll look foward to the rest and the satisfaction of knowing that The Coach said, “Well done good and faithful player.”
So take some time this week to get back to the basics…
It’s about time I did.
Aug 25 2008
Here are a few of my favorite movie moments (in no particular order)… what are yours?
1. “Elizabethtown” - The phone conversation between Will (Orlando Bloom) and Claire (Kirsten Dunst) while they each go about their lives and talk for hours on end. When they meet in person, they realize the phone was better.
2. “Seabiscuit” - When Tom Smith (Chris Cooper) is trying to get Seabiscuit to calm down and tries using a goat. The goat then is launched through the air from the stable by the horse.
3. “Lord Of The Rings” - When Merry (Dominic Monighan) and Pippin (Billy Boyd) light the dragon firework at Bilbo’s (Ian Holm) birthday party. Pippin’s scream is hilarious.
4. “The Matrix” - The entire conversation between the Oracle (Gloria Foster) and Neo (Keanu Reeves). I think that was the scene the made me like the movie despite Keanu Reeves.
5. “Amadeus” - The final scene where Solieri’s (F. Murray Abraham) story and bitterness devestates the Priest (Herman Meckler) and assures the audience that Solieri belongs in the institution.
Aug 11 2008
Big Announcement #2: I Will Not Be Returning To The Master’s College
Okay so maybe I lulled you into a false sense of security when I made my first announcement but to be fair I did warn you a while back.
So yeah, this is a BIG announcement and I am going to do my best to explain the situation while maintaining the privacy I talked about last time.
Here goes…
1. It’s A Matter Of Character
Some time ago, a situation came about where I faced a major crisis that turned into a legal problem. The resolution of that legal problem called my character into question and left me picking up the pieces of my life 19 days after my Mom died. During the legal process I was unable to disclose the situation to TMC and when I could, there was little more than a month left before I was due to be back for SLS Retreat. Because of the timing, TMC felt it was best to exclude me for this school year (2008-2009) and reevaluate things next year.
2. It’s A Matter Of Cost
Even before my exclusion for 2008-2009, going to TMC was going to be a long term financial burden and was already a short-term financial strain. The death of my Mom further complicated things due to the fact that the lost income has put my family in a precarious situation. On top of that, I had to go into a considerable amount of debt due to the legal costs and would have no way to pay that back while going to TMC. The final problem is that there are classes that I’d have to take, in order to graduate in 2010, that are only being offered this year. Because they won’t be offered again until the 2010-2011 school year, and because of my age, finishing at TMC is neither wise nor feasible.
3. It’s A Matter Of Calling
When I first began at TMC, the goal was to learn the necessary tools to become a full-time Creative Arts Pastor and felt called to a career in the Church. However, that is no longer possible. As I faced the legal situation, I quickly started to reevaluate everything in my life and soon began to feel that going into ministry was no longer my calling and in all honesty, was no longer my desire. In addition, the Bible lays out some pretty strict guidelines for those that want to be in leadership in the church and I am confident that I no longer meet those guidelines, nor do I want to pursue them. I did not evaluate myself lightly but merely held my character and spiritual fortitude up to the lens of scripture and was convicted by the Holy Spirit that I was lacking.
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All that being said, here are some answers to a few questions I anticipate you may have:
1. Are you excluded from TMC campus or just enrolling in classes?
I am only excluded from attending classes, however I probably won’t be on-campus very much and if I am, it can only be on lower campus. Because I live and work within 40 miles of TMC, there will still be plenty of opportunities for me to see and hang out with the folks from TMC off-campus.
2. Does this mean you are not going to finish your degree?
Before my Mom died, I promised her that I would finish school, even if she wasn’t around for me to do so. At the time I couldn’t imagine facing school without her love and support, and although I still can’t imagine what that is going to be like, I intend to fulfill that promise to her.
3. If you’re going to finish, when will you go back?
Unfortunately, it was too late in the year to apply anywhere else for Fall 2008 so the earliest I’d start would be Spring 2009. However, there is a possibility that I may take a little bit longer to go back, while I figure out what kind of degree to pursue and the best place to pursue it.
4. Are you going to attend a Christian College?
In my opinion there is only one Christian College for me and it’s TMC. Although there are some great schools out there that emphasize Christ and Scripture, there is only one that preaches the Christ I know and teaches the Scripture I read and that is TMC. All that being said, when I go back it will more than likely be at a secular institution. There are many world-renown colleges and universities that offer competitive programs in the arts.
5. What career are you going to pursue now that you’re not going to be a Pastor?
Although my calling has defiantly been changed, I don’t think my gifts and talents have. I am still very interested in using the gifts I have in the arts as a springboard for a career in the arts, but it’s going to take some time to figure all that stuff out. However, no matter what my new major is going to be, I still have some Gen Ed to get out of the way, so I’ll probably start there.
I think that’ll do it for this post. If you have any questions or comments feel free to leave them here on the blog, or email me. I have a few more announcements to make so don’t let down your guard yet.
Aug 09 2008
Here are 10 movies I want to see before the end of the year (in no particular order):
Have you seen any of these? If you have, leave a comment and let me know what you thought about them.
Aug 04 2008
Big Announcement #1: This Will No Longer Be An Online Journal About Me
As someone who has been blogging and podcasting for three years it’s really easy to think that because you’ve lasted this long, your blog is the best blog in the world, especially if you don’t read a lot of other blogs. I can honestly say I do read a lot of blogs and I know what a good one looks like and this isn’t one. So here are a few reasons why the blog is changing:
1. Lack Of Regularity And Consistency
When I first started blogging the goal and purpose was to share what was going on in my life and to pass on some funny stories, articles, pictures and videos. When I began reading other blogs they all had regular weekly features like Mind Dumps, Bible Journeys and other recurring themes and so for a while I tried to adopted that style. The only feature that ever really lasted was my TMC Journal but that was less a feature about life as a TMC student and more just an extension of what was going on in my life. That being said, an online journal is cool and all, but you really don’t develop a following or a regular audience unless you’re consistent. I have been consistently inconsistent and as a result I have very few regular readers and more Googlers and Yahooers that are just passing by when a keyword or tag from my blog lands in their search results.
2. A Need To Protect My Privacy
I have been a very honest and open person ever since I became a Christian. I felt that instead of keeping the blessings and failures in my life a secret, I would be someone that was transparent and real with those around me. I believe that part of it was my personality and part of it was a need for attention. Every once in a while I’d go through a “crisis” and strategically point any and every conversation toward my troubles in order to gain sympathy and affection from my friends. As I began to get older and more mature people began confronting me about it and so it decreased less and less to where I simply had a small circle of people who knew “everything” about me and then had the general population that would get and honest answer to any question they asked me for the sake of authenticity. I’m not sure it was a bad idea but when you go through life being an open book and are suddenly faced with a real crisis which can’t be public knowledge you learn very quickly that sometimes there is a need for privacy and protecting the parts of who I am that have no business being shared with mere acquaintances.
3. Disclaimers Are Good Up To A Point
Early on in my bogging experience, I made some comments on a Podcast that got me in trouble. Comments that led a friend of mine to believe that I was talking about them and the organization that we were a part of. I immediately got an irate phone call from them demanding answers and it took me quite a while to explain that the comments were not directed at them or the organization and had to remove the portion of the Podcast where I made the comments. After a few similar incidents, I posted a disclaimer that helped folks understand that my opinions were my own and that they were not the onions of others unless they stated so on the blog. However, I think I missed the point in that initial confrontation. The problem was less about who I was representing, but was more about the fact that my comments were misinterpreted because they were not well thought out or carefully planned. And sometimes, no matter how carefully you word something, there will be those who misinterpret what you say and end up being offended.
4. You Are What You Blog
I have to say when I look back at all the posts for the past three years I have noticed a frightening trend. Since I began blogging 70% of my blogs have been written because I was depressed and the content and the tone reflected that. In other words, this blog is pretty depressing when you go back and look at all the stuff that I’ve written. It has been the most intense the past 1½ years due to my Mom’s cancer and subsequent death but if someone was to come along and read this, without knowing me, they’d probably think I was a pretty depressed and somber guy. For those of you who know me, you know that I have a sense of humor and laugh a lot and joke a lot, but you wouldn’t think that by reading this. If I really wanted this blog to be a place where I share my thoughts and what’s going on, I either did a terrible job, or my life really sucks (it could be both).
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Here is what you can expect in Tales From The Yellow Brick Road 2.0:
1. More Consistency For The Sake Of Consistency
Over the next month or so I’m going to be trying out a few different styles and formats. I’ll warn you in advance it’s going to suck, but I hope that when the right one comes along you’ll email me and speak up. I want to find a genre of blogging and stick with it. Maybe it’ll be an entertainment review blog, maybe it will be a Bible verse blog maybe it will be a Wizard Of Oz trivia blog who knows. All I know is when I find the right format that is appealing to all you regulars, I’ll stick with it.
2. I’m Keeping Stuff On The Down Low
If you want to know what’s going on in my life and want to keep up with all the stuff going on, you’re gonna have to find another way besides this blog. From now on my personal life will be private. I’m not ruling out the possibility of having a journal, but from now on it’s not going to be available for all the world to see. One alternative to this will be my Twitter Feed that I will maintain and keep updated with short snippets of what’s up, but don’t expect any posts about me or my life that are more than 140 characters.
3. I Ain’t Representin’
My disclaimer still stands, but just know that I reserve the right at anytime to give honest assessments of public organizations that I may or may not be involved in and that other people may or may not be involved in. Unless I name someone by name don’t assume that I’m talking about anyone in particular. If I’m going to blog about something that is potentially “misinterpretable,” I’ll clear it through someone else first before I post it. Hopefully, the lack of personal content on my part will also help eliminate some of those misunderstandings.
4. This Blog Is Now Officially On Prozac
From now on my posts will go through an elaborate evaluation for depression related material. Any and all posts that are potentially depressing will go through a rigorous editing and sifting process. All of us know that sometimes the world can be persistent source of discouragement, however there’s no reason for me to make this blog a sob fest that tries to coax certain emotional responses from people. Some of this will be solved due to increased privacy but mostly, it’ll be a conscience decision to choose a less discouraging approach.
Well that’s it for now. More jaw-dropping announcements to come shortly… I figured I’d start with and obvious and easy one.
Aug 03 2008
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Aug 01 2008
That’s right folks I’ve got some stuff that I need to sell and I wanted to enlist your help. The following items are for sale on Craigslist and I need your help selling them. If you or someone you know are looking for these items let me know and I will be more than happy to let you/them have a first shot and a somewhat reduced price.
On Sale Now:
As you can tell these are some high priced items and the bottom line is I’m raising funds to purchase a vehicle. And just like I need your help selling, I need your help buying! So here is what I’m looking for:
2005 (1/2) - 2007 Volkswagen Jetta
Must Haves:
Wish List:
If you can help out in any way with anything on this list I would be most greatful!
Jul 29 2008
I just wanted to let you all know that I will be making a few announcements here on the blog over the next few weeks. Most of the announcements have to do with some major changes in my life that will definitely affect this blog, its content as well as it’s purpose and goal. I hope that sentence was vauge enough for you all to check back often over the next few weeks.
In the meantime, I want to take this opportunity now to thank you all for faithfully reading here day after day even when I don’t get around to posting for days at a time. For those of you who are newer, this is a great opportunity for you to bail out now… JUST KIDDING! This is actually a great time for you to get to know me better and to one day in the future say, “I remember when…”
I hope that over the next few weeks during this time of transition that all of you will stick around while things get revamped and retooled for this next stage of my life.